Stay in N London or do the big move?

[freddiefrogpercypig]

Live in Muswell Hill. Work in city. Have 2 preschool kids. Love it here. However thinking of moving out to tun wells as 1) secondary schools (though mh also good) 2) fab countryside nearby 3) lots for kids and adults to do 4) commute not bad to city 5) get larger home
However love it here as great range of parks and the woods, fab primaries, easy commute, friendly, safe, villagey.
Are we mad? We have a small 4 bed here on outskirts. We could get a large 4 bed with garden there. Friends going from mh now but hope id meet more through school. Know one good friend in TW.
Are we mad? Is the lure of countryside and space not all its cracked up to be? Will I miss muswell hill? Is the commute from TW too much. It's tricky as not quite sure what I'm soon with my work but working on assumption I'll need to get into London part time too.

[WhatwouldOliviaPopedo]

farleywatts Part of the reason we've decided to stay is because our DD is naturally anxious and we think growing up in London will help her become more independent. Ferrying her about all over the countryside well into her teens makes me fear we'll never cut the apron strings! But that's us and you need to do what's right for your family. If anything, it sounds a bit to me like you've mentally already left London, for all the reasons you've listed. Can you find somewhere that your husband can easily commute from?

[mayhew]

No don't leave. A previous poster seemed to dread her children being independently mobile in London when they got older. For our family that was a massive plus!
Our friends who relocated spent 15 years driving their children around. Rather them than me!

[Changebagsandgladrags]

I've done it. Moved from West London to rural North Yorkshire. I love it. The kids go to a small village school, they play out with friends in the village, the countryside is all around. There's something about being able to look out on all this green, that's relaxing or something, I can't quite put my finger on it. We're less stressed, everyone is here.

I'm a lot more isolated than I was. However, I've found it easy to make friends. Mostly through school.

On the downside, DS (11) really wants to live in a city, although youngest prefers the countryside.

[farleywatts]

Hi, I've not posted on mumsnet before so not sure if this post is still live and people can see it? Basically I am having exactly the same debate about staying in Muswell Hill, or moving out to the countryside. I grew up in a small village which and would like the same for my two young children, although I don't know what it is like as a parent living there. My husband grew up in North London and would still need to commute into work each day.

We have a 5 bed terrace house here with a decent garden for London and we just got a place at the great primary next to us. The secondaries have a very good reputation here too.

My big fear is children, especially teenagers, being able to leave the house and go anywhere in the city. In the countryside when you need to be driven to places parents can at least have more control/protection over what children are doing.

Other reasons are that we can hear our neighbours all the time so there isn't often a sense of calm/peace.
We want our family to grow and we could get a lot more space and offstreet parking for the same value as our current house in the Commuterbelt.
I find getting in and out of London to see family very tricky, we always get stuck. Coming from a smaller place I find driving around London stressful also and I avoid it which means I mainly do things I can walk to.
If my children only experience living in London, they may not feel that it is easy to live elsewhere and property is so expensive that they may not be able to get a home of their own.
The traffic, crime and pollution.

I am very aware that my eldest will soon settle into school and that it will be harder to move them the older they get. I don't want them to get any older and feel deep regret that we didn't move when we could have done.

Can anyone please offer any advice?
Thank you very much for reading.

[WhatwouldOliviaPopedo]

We live down the road from you on the Harringay Ladder waves up the hill and if I had a four-bed in MH I wouldn't move! As you say, it's just about the best place to live with small kids in N London. We just went through the same dilemma/wobble but have decided to stay put for all the reasons Itscoldoutthere mentions - awful commute, teenage kids in need of constant taxi service, novelty of countryside wearing off, etc. I'm now so happy to be staying.

[farleywatts]

Maybe Doctor, where do you live? It sounds perfect!

[MaybeDoctor]

A lot has been said about the advantages of town, but just to 'big up' the positives of the commuter belt, within max 5-10 minutes drive of my home I have:

5 or more areas of NT woodland
2 historic NT type attractions
Wonderful views
Open farmland all over the place
Various places where fairs, shows and events take place.

Plus even more attractions slightly further afield.

Plus a small town centre with shops, station and sports facilities within 10 mins walk. Oh and I went from home to sitting in a London restaurant in exactly 60 minutes last night.

Do consider it!

[cestlavielife]

yes stay...you forget that in the countryside you cant go and walk where you like, not like you can in muswell hill/highgate woods/hampstead etc . you have to stick to footpaths etc which may not be easily accessible ie you might have to go drive to park in a car park to access them.

[freddiefrogpercypig]

Thanks all - looks like we may stay put

[Finola1step]

We are in TW. Moved down from East Dulwich when eldest dc was 3. It was a great decision for us. Dc go to a very well regarded, sought after state primary. Great community feel etc.

But I sense a big, big issue on the horizon. There has been a huge increase in the number of primary aged children in the past 5 years or so. Lots of bulge classes, new primary schools, expansion of current schools. And still it isn't enough. With no clear plan, from what I can see, of what will happen at secondary level to accommodate all these extra children. Put simply, there will be more and more children in Tunbridge Wells who can't get into the fab secondary schools.

So if schools are your big draw, think very carefully.

[MaybeDoctor]

Well, we moved from a similar bit of N London and have never looked back. Small commuter town is what had worked for us.

Why not rent and try it out before you need to get into schools?

[taxworries]

Tis may have been said already (in a rush) but have you thought about the real commute time? Friends moved there with two preschool kids and after a stressful year or rushing back and forth she gave up work - phone calls from nursery saying X is vomiting with a bug, collect them right now where just too stressful when she was a good 1hr 20 away - 50 min commute then 30 min tube/walk/crossing station faff.

[Itscoldouthere]

Don't do it! I did and regret it, had a 4 bed house in MH moved 3 years ago.
Things have changed and my DP who was working from home now works full time in London. The commute is a bore and costs over £5000 per year.
Mind you if you have small children you will connect with the community through school, we have teenagers, they have no local friends, no way of going out without me as taxi driver ( we live in a village) you have to drive everywhere. The beautiful countryside gets boring, even my dog is bored as he hardly ever meets other dogs who want to play.
We have an amazing house, great for parties, but not many friend here, my friends are all in London. My DP loves it here but he gets all he needs of London in the week, I miss the buzz of city life. I'm moving back when the teens have finished school (2 years) but we will have to get a small flat as we are no longer able to afford a 4 bed in MH 😪

[NotYoda]

I wouldn't

I think I'm right in saying that Secondaries near you are good.

Primary goes quickly, and London is great for teens

[Babymamamama]

I wouldn't move but if you're set on it could you rent in Kent rather than burning your bridges with n London. Then you could return if it didn't work out?

[TheTedium]

I live not far from you. Don't do it. North London (where you are in particular) has everything, all the lovely parks for the kids, Heath, Kenwood, Highgate Woods, excellent transport so when they are teens (and it goes quickly) they can do their own thing in and out of the city. Great shops, motorway transport links etc. Refurb your house and get the kids into local schools.

[HeadDreamer]

Not in London myself.

You only go to the country side in the holidays and weekend. Either one or both of you need to go to work 5 days a week. Do you think it is wise to have a easier 'commute' for leisure time or work?

[YelloDraw]

Wow ok am hearing you all loud and clear! Ha ha. Doesn't everyone move when they have kids though? It's def the lure of open countryside plus a bigger house which is tempting me. But perhaps grass is not always greener.

Nope.

People move because they can't afford enough bedrooms (or to buy at all!) or a place in a decent catchment area and don't fancy Little Pascal getting stabbed.

If you have enough cash to have a house in London, in a nice area, with good schools, that is big enough, and a small garden - why the hell would you want to move? London is the best place on earth for children, teenagers and adults. Only downside is they will probably never move our of the family home ;-)

You can get the train out to the countryside for long muddy walks.

[freddiefrogpercypig]

Wow ok am hearing you all loud and clear! Ha ha. Doesn't everyone move when they have kids though? It's def the lure of open countryside plus a bigger house which is tempting me. But perhaps grass is not always greener.

[EssentialHummus]

Another one who wouldn't move. But: check school catchments carefully. Last time I checked - admittedly a while ago - there were some black holes around schools with tiny catchments. Do you need more space? Could you move to (whisper it) East Finchley so you don't lose proximity to the Heath but gain in transport links what you lose in Waitrose and Marks?

[MrsCaptainWentworth]

No way would I move. We moved from north London to a village in Hertfordshire - we were MAD & I would move back tomorrow but DH & dcs like it here. There is one bus an hour to the nearest town but it takes so long I end up ferrying them everywhere. Don't do it- the countryside is not all its cracked up to be.

[PotatoBread]

I'd stay in Muswell Hill too - it's a great area to raise kids in

[Didiusfalco]

If i lived in a 4 bed in muswell hill there is no way you would shift me to TWs!

[wobblywonderwoman]

The grass might not be greener - loads t do in London. I used to live near MH and its gorgeous