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I have a 5 bed house and rent out 3 rooms. Everytime a woman lodger comes there is always jealousy from her and I am female and live in property too. Should i just be sexist and never let out to women

33 replies

bigroundsunglasses · 17/04/2016 18:18

I really enjoy my female friend's company but having female lodgers just seems to become toxic when they become jealous which then turns to full on hate and a sad toxic environment for all. Male lodgers are clean tidy and respectful.
I am female. Should I only then have male lodgers?

OP posts:
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Wauden · 28/08/2022 21:29

This can indeed happen.

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TheRollingCrone · 22/04/2016 00:24

Did someone say Tom Hardy?

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bleachedout · 21/04/2016 06:22

Stick to men if that dynamic is working and harmony better in your house. This is better for you and your child.

I am sure the women who have been a bit rude must have done this before to another landlord/lady.

Do what is right for you x

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Caprinihahahaha · 21/04/2016 00:04

I feel you cat.

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thecatfromjapan · 20/04/2016 23:54

All this feeling what everyone is feeling is just making me think about feeling Tom Hardy.

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Caprinihahahaha · 20/04/2016 23:32

So brave.



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amarmai · 20/04/2016 22:15

i always object to ad hominem attacks and sometimes i get attacked for doing so. ??

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bigroundsunglasses · 20/04/2016 21:33

One female lodger said numerous times that all I did was swan around all day. She knew that I run 4 miles a day to drop my child off at school then back to do housework and working as a non paid carer for a relative who can't even walk anymore. I can't work as to pay someone to drop and pick my child would just not be possible with what I would earn.

I don't buy red meat or any meat for myself as I can't afford it. I do buy it for my child and if anything left after I eat this.

Life is not greener on the other side, ever.

In fact when I told my female friends they were harsher than my male friends by saying get rid of them.

OP posts:
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bigroundsunglasses · 20/04/2016 21:23

I am a single mum and the money from lodger's helps. I have a 3 yr old and females who lived in house a 2 separate times shouted at me on things that had nothing to do with me and they were fully aware of this.

It really upset my child. I did not ever shout at these women or be rude. I feel sad to say it but the male lodgers have been kinder and more respectful. Believe me I am no oil painting.

It would be great to have a nice lady in house but I am fearful and more so as I don't want someone shouting in front of my child for any reason.

OP posts:
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bigroundsunglasses · 20/04/2016 21:15

lol on me being a right catch. lol Thread was not about that, it's okay.

OP posts:
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bigroundsunglasses · 20/04/2016 21:13

I have a lot of good female friends whose friendships I value and respect a great deal. I am just going on experiences in the house since letting.

I did want 2 men 2 women ratio and tried this. Maybe I am more detached to male lodgers than female and that is what is being given off.

I am much more pro women than men but want peace in house. At the end of day it is a business renting out room/s in your house.

Good to read all comments.

OP posts:
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firesidechat · 20/04/2016 17:53

You don't think there's a problem with what the op posted amarmai? You think the op was being honest about his/her feelings?

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TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 20/04/2016 17:10

I wondered if this was a reverse aibu type thing from a bloke fed up with how many ads specify women only, and he wanted to trick us into saying 'no you can't never let out to women, that's sexist!' so he could go 'ha! Gotcha! Hypocrites!'
Damned strange thread otherwise.

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amarmai · 20/04/2016 17:01

it's not about you tho .

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Caprinihahahaha · 20/04/2016 15:11

Indeed. I feel what I feel.

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amarmai · 20/04/2016 14:36

why attack the op? She feels what she feels.

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Nibbl3s · 19/04/2016 13:28

Yes Op, they are definitely jealous of you. You sound like a right catch Hmm

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EBearhug · 19/04/2016 13:00

Male lodgers are clean tidy and respectful.

I think you've been very lucky!

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firesidechat · 19/04/2016 12:57

What a weird thread. Goady as hell, but posted in property?

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firesidechat · 19/04/2016 12:52

Did you join mn to tell us this op?

My daughter has house shared with men in the past and for the most part their habits were vile. You've done very well to find all these house trained men and bad luck with all those nasty jealous women. You sound wonderful op. Hmm

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citychick · 18/04/2016 14:44

lesshaste

When advertising for a lodger, one would not Obviously discriminate.
On the spareroom website, you can generally specify the type of lodger you would ideally like to invite into your home.

If anyone ever called/emailed to ask why I didn't choose them, I don't justify my choice. I just say the room has gone. No need to get into a conversation about it.

Otherwise it would be chaos and we'd all be living with lodgers we hate feeling trapped in our homes.

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Caprinihahahaha · 18/04/2016 08:22

I'm always wary of the 'jealous' thing. It has overtones of 'they must be being awful because I am so wonderful' . It's like women who claim that they lack female friends because women just can't get past how attractive they are.

Is it possible you are just a bit of a dick to your female lodgers?

In the equation 'are all female lodgers irrationally jealous or is one landlord a bit of a dick' I think have a likely answer.

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DropYourSword · 18/04/2016 08:16

Male lodgers are clean tidy and respectful

Where are you finding this rare breed!!

Live with who you want. But this 'jealous' comment and the fact you think it's inevitable makes you sound a little Samantha Brick-y!

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lesshaste · 18/04/2016 08:11
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citychick · 17/04/2016 23:43

Your gut instinct is telling you to have male lodgers, then.
The female dynamic isn't working for you and your home.

We had lodgers for a couple of years and I followed my gut. For us it was females under 30. Reason? I needed to feel in control of my home. Not judged or in competition with someone my age. Also we have young DS. Younger females don't mind kids so much and are never home.

I would have been happy with younger males too, but decided to even up the household to 2 boys (dh and ds) and myself and female lodger.

It's your home, you chose who you let out your rooms to. I don't think you are being sexist at all. You simply need to find the dynamic that works. If there are 4 of u in the house, try 2 girls and 2 boys?

You need to feel comfortable on your own home.

Good luck.

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