Funny experiences in viewing houses

[potas]

I went to view a house last week in the corner of a recently built estate with not much space out the front. When I got out the house after the viewing I found the neighbour had blocked me in with her car - she didnt need to park there she had a double drive - whereas I had parked in front of the house i was viewing. When asked to move the car she went off on a rant about how people in that house had always parked their car somewhere else before! Feel lucky to have met her then and not after buying the house!

[bryonywhisker]

FIL painted the inside of his bath black with some kind of gloss paint. It was everso flaky. Wasn't present at any viewings when he left but would have liked to have been

[FairyThunderthighs]

Sorry, that turned into a bit of a rant and didn't quite meet the "funny" requirement!

[FairyThunderthighs]

We looked at a house to rent where the landlady was a huge gossip, she owned a row of about 5 houses, and in the 15 minutes or so we were there she had told us the ins and outs of all the other tenants lives! "Oh his wife left him so he's a bit depressed, put lots of weight on.." Etc. Then she randomly asked me if both of my children had the same father! Bloody cheeky! This house was marketed as a three bedroom but apparently she didn't like that, and wanted us to put our baby and 7 year old in a tiny single together and use the third room as a study, which we had no need for! Declined that one.

Viewed another house where the tenants were still in situ, sitting around in their pants. Toddler wandering around with a nappy hanging down almost to his knees because it was so wet. It was a really nice house though and we said we'd take it. Agreed a date to get keys, pay deposit etc with the letting agent, then a few days before I phoned them to ask a question and they said "oh...it's not quite ready yet..tenants left a bit of a mess. Landlord says he can sort it but he needs about a month to do it. You can move in on this date." We said fine. Gave notice on current property, started arranging things to move. Then the weekend before we were due to move in we phoned to arrange a time, the letting agent said "it's going to take at least another 6 months..I suppose you want your deposit back..?" Bloody cowboys!

[Cremolafoam]

One house we viewed the lady's dying father was in the living room in a hospital bed hooked up to life support. She told us he was not long for this world and so she was selling the house from under him
Horrifying.

Another house we viewed was being sold by a religious fundamentalist and he spent the 15 minutes we were there giving us tracts about how we could be 'saved' . The walls in the kitchen were papered with bible pages. I joke you not .

Another house had feral guineapigs running about the entire property. It stank like a giant litter cage.

[echt]

Thank you dalek. Brain bleach had occurred to me too.:o

[MyBoysAreFab]

I went to view a flat on a Sunday morning as arranged. The flat stunk of fried sausages. As the owner was showing me round, he was smoking a fag and flicking it on the carpet.

[Meringue33]

I viewed a studio flat that was currently tenanted. The (20-something) tenant was cross-legged on the top bunk, eating some pot noodles. With his mum.

[giantpenguinmonster]

I viewed a house where one of the kitchen cupboards had a notice on it saying something like "Do not open. Rabbit in cupboard".

The tenants had found next doors pet rabbit in their garden and were keeping it there till they could return it.

I viewed another house that I was really excited about as I'd been looking for ages and it looked very promising from the outside. It was 1970/80 but turned out nothing had been done since it was built. It was a complete renovation opportunity. Worse, it was a deceased estate and was full of the owners Star Trek collection. His glasses and open novel were next to a rocking chair! It was really, really creepy.

[DalekInAFestiveJumper]

I've always assumed it was just decorative. It never occurred to me it might have been, ahem, practical. But it WAS hanging from a sort of silk rope thing, so who knows? Brain bleach! Eek!

[echt]

I'm thinking about that chandelier, was it like those rotating kitchen implement racks, where you grab the item you want, or purely decorative? Or was the chandler in itself part of the process - like the sex swing?

[DalekInAFestiveJumper]

First flat I ever bought belonged to an elderly couple that attended the same church my parents did. I'd known them for years. I worked with their youngest daughter.

Most of the place was what I'd expected, floral prints and hand crocheted doilies, pictures of the grandkids on the wall.

The master bedroom? S&M parlor with sex swings and leather and a mirror bolted to the ceiling. Sextoy chandelier. Sex. Toy. Chandelier.

For years, I had to fight the urge to giggle every time I ran into them.

[Onetwo34]

House turned out to be owned by the friend of a celebrity, who they were obviously very close to, so there were pictures everywhere of this character doing normal stuff, which was strangely jarring. Like, Rita off Corrie, having her Christmas dinner on the mantelpiece, there she is again on the way up the stairs, playing crazy golf with a child.
It wasn't Rita, but you get the idea.

[Chocolatehunter]

We viewed a house once and it was all going so well. We'd been told that it was tenanted but we could see past the clutter and mess. That was until me, dh and ea all tried fitting into the en suite.

They aren't designed to be big and with three adults there's not many places to look. I looked down to find the toilet seat up with what looked like the largest poo a human had ever taken. It was standing up by itself, waving out of the water.

We didn't buy the house, we went for the identical house up the street which didn't have the same toilet troubles.

[holidaybug]

She just sat in bed with her collection of cuddly toys and yes she was over the age of 30. The lounge had lots of picture frames on the walls but still with the picture inserts in. No photos or pictures. The house was later repossessed - their business went bust and they fled the country. Well weird!

[flow4]

There is only one picture available on the link now, so the EA must have agreed that the other pics were, hem, amusing!

[VerityClinch]

You will all love picture 4 of this house

[OnIlkelyMoorBahtat]

holiday bug [shocked] what, to sleep? Did she talk to you from it? Don't leave me hanging!

Once viewed a flat where the vendor very proudly showed me the bath that he had mosaic-tiled himself - "It's like a Roman bath, see?" - but the trouble was that the tiles were very obviously wonky and not level, and the grouting in between them was actually more like cement, so every time you'd slide into your "relaxing" bath you'd graze all the skin of your backside! Didn't take that one...

[holidaybug]

We have a corker ... When viewing one house, the vendor actually got into her bed ...

[Curioustiger]

I viewed a house with an ensuite shower room. Which would be lovely were it not for the fact that the owner had removed the partition wall. So it was effectively a maste bedroom with a shower basin and toilet in it. I left after explaining to the EA that we aren't that kind of couple!

I also viewed another house which the estate agent insisted was tenanted by 'city professionals'. I don't know what was the more obvious tip off: the Uni textbooks, the general levels of mess, the studenty posters ... Or the incredulous looks on the part of the very-obviously-student tenants when the EA described them to me as city professionals. In front of them.

[steppemum]

we went to view a house. We had 4 houses to view one after another and we had dd2 in tow (aged 3)
In house 2, very nice, beautifully presented house, immaculate, very nice lady showed us round.
There was a dolls house in one bedroom and dd was looking at it, lady said that is fine, and we turned to talk to her about something.

Turned back to tell dd it was time to go, to discover she had weed on the carpet

was so embarrassed, apologised profusely and left quickly. Then had to strip her, put her naked in car seat, dash to asda, buy clean knickers and trousers, back to car and then to house number 3

[Empross76]

DP and I went to view a flat to rent in a converted house. The owners lived in the downstairs flat so we went into their flat to chat further, sign papers, pay deposit, etc.

We went back home and had a phone call about an hour later from the landlord asking if I had, by any chance, picked up his TV remote control?

Turns out I had, whilst taking cheque book and wallet out of my bag, managed to put his remote control in.

I must have seemed like a right kleptomaniac. He still rented us the flat, though.

[Empross76]

One where the owner had clearly just done a big stinky shit in the bathroom. Opened the bathroom door, hit by the stench, the estate owner ushered us out of the house and apologised profusely.

[Zynnia]

omg! i'm laughing here! that is the kind of thing that happens to me! can you imagine moving in on day one and turning the tap on for a cup of tea! you spared some poor new home owner that drama!

[CanadianJohn]

Some years ago, viewing a vacant house. The kitchen tap was dripping, and I automatically reached out and turned it off. The entire tap broke off in my hand, and a jet of water reached the ceiling.

There was no shut-off under the sink, and we couldn't find the main shut-off for the house. The agent had to wait hours for a plumber to show up, by which time the entire kitchen was ruined.

Or so I heard - I'd left with my tail between my legs.

[GemmaTeller]

Years ago , went to look at a 9really really big) flat over some shops in a nice semi rural village.
Estate agent said it need 'some work',
would be the fact that you could see through the floorboards into the room below?.....