Dispute with neighbours over replacing back fence.

[nannylove]

Hi. First time I've used this site but I'm at my wits end! A young couple moved in next door to us just over a year ago with three children and a dog. They had to gut the house but we were quite happy to hear the noise that they had to make, and it's nice to hear young children playing. They invited me in to see the work that they had done and I told them that we were aware that the back fence needed replacing (though it doesn't look TOO bad from our side) but we could not afford to do it until my husband retires in 2 years and we receive a retirement pay out. They seemed O.K. with this. The couple are foul mouthed and aggresive, we suffer constant shouting, effing and blinding and rowing, all of which can be clearly heard through the wall, sometimes word for word. I'm only telling you this so you can see the bigger picture. Last week I heard the husband on the phone in the garden threatening to rip our fence down if we don't replace it straight away before they put decking down. Hoping to resolve the matter I knocked on his door and politely, once more, explained that we could not afford to replace the fence straight away. Later the wife brought a pile of wood round from our fence and threw it in our front garden. I politely explained to her that she was quite entitled to return any wood off our fence, no problem, and that to save her bringing it round the front she could just put it over the back fence. I then received a tirade of verbal abuse! After which she made several trips round to me hammering on my front door obviously looking for a fight. This is not my way of doing things so I asked her, again politely, to go home. But eventually I had to threaten to call the police to have her removed. She couldn't have cared less. I had asked her to calm down and come indoors to discuss the matter which she loudly refused! Now they are saying that our fence is on their property, which I am almost certain that it is not, but would be interested to hear anything any of you have to say.

[Pendeen]

"The sergeant wants us to take it to court but I just want an end to it..."

Sorry to say but there will be no end to it unless these people are tried and convicted.

[AgathaF]

Do what the police advise. It's not going to go away on its own. People like this don't just stop behaving like this because someone politely asks them too.

I do feel for you. Dodgy neighbours are such a pain in the arse. It seems like there are more and more of them around too.

[nannylove]

The Safer Neighbourhood team from the council, who work with the police, came to see us yesterday and were really lovely. The sergeant who's dealing with this is coming up to see me later this week for a chat and to see how things are, still got fingers crossed that this will get sorted. It's all very intimidating though, they have their two sets of French doors and kitchen window wide open all the time so I can hear what they're saying - not that you have to listen, they're so loud that even with ear plugs you'd still hear every word! Lost a stone and a half in weight, can't take much more!

[gremlinmum]

Hi Nannylove just wanted to say thinking of you!!! We had to move house when I was a teenager because of a neighbour from hell!!! Stay strong and get the Police to take it further. Your health is your wealth nannylove and they are just scum by the sound of it!!!

[AliceWChild]

Sorry to hear it nannylove. Glad you're getting some good support.

[nannylove]

I can't tell you how much it has helped reading all your supportive comments. Just being able to get it off your chest really does help - it just shows there are more lovely people than horrible ones. I've been brave enough to venture into my garden this morning (after I saw them go out) to put my washing line up! Whether I'll be brave enough to bring the washing in again I don't know. My next door but two neighbours have put their house up for sale, could be coincidence but being a lovely young couple with a baby who haven't lived there that long maybe not.

[Pudden]

I really feel for you; we had neighbours from hell when I was pregnant with my firstborn. Noise day and night- v. loud music, swearing, telly fighting etc. Six dogs in back yard who were never taken out and fouled where they lay. The children used to urinate against our front door and throw dog faeces and used sanitary pads into our back yard. We and other neighbours were verbally abused and spat on as we walked past...it was utterly horrendous and blighted the 'babyears'.

Eventually we had enough and with support of police, the council, RSPCA etc most of the neighbours went to court and ASBOS were given to half the family! They moved out soon after but not before recking the house.

We were allocated a designated police officer and he was wonderful and really got things moving for us so see if they have an officer who does this sort of thing in the community

I am thinking of you and your poor husband; with your friends and neighbours help and support and the proper channels you can get through this.

Please keep posting so we can keep supporting you as well; i know how hard and horrendously distressing it is

[AliceWChild]

I'm glad it helps. I feel useless in any advice but am following and thinking of you.

[nannylove]

Thankyou Pudden and AliceWChild, your thoughts and support are much appreciated. They came home about an hour ago and all is quiet at the moment -- but can't help wondering if that's because they're plotting something. I'll keep in touch. Do any of you live in the Erith area (though I'm not sure you're allowed to say on mumsnet)?

[AliceWChild]

You're allowed to say, although of course different people give out different levels of info online. But no, nowhere near.

Is it still quiet?

[nannylove]

I see there's a message deleted for breaking the Talk Guidelines but not sure why, sorry if I've broken any rules. It's not exactly quiet but at least they've not been back hammering on my door! I'll keep you posted.

[Aethelfleda]

Don't worry nanny, from the username and the speed with which it canished, it was likely a spam post from an advertising person "ring this number/click this link for cheap fencing LOLS!!!!!!" or equivalent. Mumsnet HQ automatically kick out posts like that all the time.

I have every sympathy too. A friend of mine had similar issues with v noisy aggressive neighbours. They eventually split up and sold the house. Do keep the police informed throughout so that each incident (even small ones) are documented, and I really hope you get some resolution soon.

[nannylove]

We've been given a diary to log any incidents and I must confess that I'm highly suspicious as to why they've suddenly quietened down. I have a feeling that as soon as they think it's all been forgotten they'll start up again. Not being very bright it wouldn't dawn on them that it will still all be on record both with the police and the council. Fingers crossed that I'm wrong! Again, thankyou for the support and I'll keep all the kind people who have messaged me up to date with developments. x

[AliceWChild]

It might be they've realised you'll not put up with it and are taking serious action, so can't be bullied. And if they've done it before, which is likely, they'll know how the system works. So maybe looks hopeful

[Aethelfleda]

Hope they stay quieter for you tonight and (crucially) over the weekend...

[nannylove]

Thankyou. They lit a bonfire at 10 last night, God knows what they were burning, it was still smouldering this morning. Very early this morning they were loading the car up and my husband saw a suitcase going in, half one now and no sign of life, all doors and windows are shut but they've left the television on in the front bedroom! Maybe just to annoy me or make people think that there's someone at home, who knows. Would be bliss if they've just done a disappearing act but I'm not that lucky! And I'd like to know what they've done with the poor dog. Will keep you all posted!

[PigletJohn]

noisy tv if left on overnight can go in your diary.

[iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii]

No advice but LOADS of sympathy. What a truely awful situation. I am lad that your other neighbours and the police and council are being supportive.
Do you rent your house?
Have you considered CCTV?

[nannylove]

No, our house is bought and paid for - we've lived here for 34 years. Unfortunately our delightful neighbours own theirs as well, we probably would have been able to have them thrown out if they were renting. But our new fence is up, courtesy of my wonderful son-in-law and his friend, so they have nothing to approach us about now. Hopefully, as they really do feed on aggression, they will revert to type turning on each other and end up hospitalizing both! Then at least their poor children could be placed with a nice foster family. But I know that's wishful thinking. We had yet another bonfire starting at 6 yesterday evening, they had their French doors and back windows wide open (must have smelt lovely inside their house) and along with the hulk of a brother and his wife entertained themselves with what sounded like a karaoke (not sure of spelling) machine, with the children, until ten o'clock! The noise was awful! And so another week begins.

[BabylonReturns]

Neighbours of this kind are dreadful, we lived for 4 years with the people opposite doing some really awful stuff, slashed car tyres etc, but we could never prove it was them.

They admitted it was them to us, but not to anyone else, so it was always our word against theirs. It all ended when they threw a brick through my babies bedroom window and poured paint stripper over our cars.

In all honesty, the police in our area were worse than useless. They did NOTHING except tell me they would arrest me for breach of the peace if I retaliated :(

We couldn't take any more and we moved. The stress of it almost broke our marriage down and my DH felt that he just couldn't protect us.

It was awful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Good luck nannylove, I hope it gets better for you quickly.

[nannylove]

Many thanks BabylonReturns, your experience sounds even worse than ours. I would move except that we have many really lovely neighbours, my grandchildren are a stones throw away and we live near shops, bus stops, railway station, doctors, dentist, minor injuries unit, cottage hospital and all my friends. As you get older all these things become even more important to you and I don't see why we should be forced out by trash like them. I'm saying that now (they've been out all day and I'm feeling brave) but whether I'll feel the same at a later date who knows. Mumsnet is really helping me cope though with people like you supporting me. Thankyou.

[InLoveWithDavidTennant]

hope things stay quiet for you. except for students (surounded by the buggers), ive never had to deal with neighbours as dh and i keep ourselves to ourselves.

i would add though, that if the police are advising you to go to court, then i would do it. someone, one day, is going to have to be brave enough to stand up to these people... otherwise it will never ever stop

[nannylove]

Well if there's one more repeat performance that's exactly where I'll be going! But as we really don't want to move and they seem to be ignoring us at the moment I'm just biding my time. But still keeping a diary and, again, thanks to everybody for supporting me.

[Aethelfleda]

Any progress nanylove? hoping it's been quiet...