Have just moved...but want to move again. Is there anyone else like me out there?

[allatsea1]

We have recently moved house. We've moved to a bigger house in a nicer area and I know I should be very thankful...but I'm still not happy. There are still other places I'd much rather live. Realistically it's going to be a good five years or so before we can consider moving again and I just can't see myself being happy until we do. Does anyone else ever feel like this? Am I on a constant hunt for perfection that I'm never going to achieve? My partner seems comfortable wherever we are...

[zoegem23]

Oh my lord I’m so sorry I’m new to mums net xx thank you

[starpatch]

Hi zoegem, this is a zombie thread so you would be better off clicking start a new thread in this topic/ (or bereavement topic) to start your own thread. Then people will respond to your situation.

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Your need for a garden also makes perfect sense too. I hope you get offered somewhere soon. This time before the funeral will be the hardest so hang on in there, hopefully the feeling of desperately needing to move will recede a bit. I will be thinking of you on Friday.

[zoegem23]

Hello im zoe and I’m 29 years old ,( no children) I’m struggling and I don’t know where to begin. Reaching out to anyone that can advice me really .

My dad passed away suddenly on the 17th august due to a blood clot . He was having chemo for colon and liver cancer . We did live together for 10 years in our 2 bed flat. He was the best dad.

He moved out to care for my nana in the first lockdown . He was much happier with a garden and knowing his mum was okay. I stayed in the flat with my boyfriend of 7 years .

I have many health problems . I have anxiety , depression, flare up of gastritis (inflammation of the stomach lining) , Circulation disease, diagnosed severe ibs , ocd and severe eczema. Just for the cherry on the top.

I have my dads funeral on Friday17 th it’s going to be so so hard . I also have my own small business . I make wax melts . It’s been the best thing for me. I receive pip benefit . I’m feeling like I’m suffocating . Ever since my dad has passed I want to move house and have a fresh start . I feel we have outgrown our flat and although I have great memories here, I feel I need to move on . I haven’t moved for 11 years so I’m terrified too.

My partner has just applied for housing with the army . But there’s no houses atm and as we’re not married we can’t get one and are at the bottom of the list . Also because we don’t have any children ether.( Of course children need to be the first ones to be given housing)

I’m just asking on how you personally deal with waiting . I’m actually very calm and patient normally for appointments , nasty people, etc but this I’m so restless and panicky I just want to get help and be offered a place for our new home . I haven’t had a garden in 11 years. We saw what the house was like in our local camp and I just fell in love. The pros was way more then the cons for us. I just don’t know how I can cope waiting for a house for when I feel so so desperate .

[MechanicChick]

Finally! I've found people who can relate! Here I was thinking that perhaps people were correct when they told me that I move around too much...
It seems to me that I just can't find the right place for me, I've moved so many places and I just can't seem to find the "right place".
I just moved (yet again) to another place, been here for a month and at first it seemed good, but I'm thinking that was just the initial happiness of moving with the chance of a fresh start. Now that I've come to know the town a little better and get myself established here, it's not great of a place, it's somewhere that I don't think was a right choice for me. Is it possible that I'm the type of person who just always has to be on the move? I've heard of some people who are like that, they just travel, see the world, and work at the same time... They're called long haul transport drivers aka Semi drivers.
My only issue right now is trying to explain to my other half that has been dragged around to new places every couple of months that I want to move again... It's even more difficult because he has decided that he really likes it here, that this is somewhere he'd like to be for a long while... Now what am I suppose to do? I can't stand it here!
Any suggestions?

[BehindLockNumberNine]

Mirage, your post gives me hope. I try to drive down my old street every now and then. Mostly I see the neighbours cars all cramped in in front of their houses so that I would not have been able to park outside my house even if I wanted to (and we had a hardstanding out the front and a dropped kerb)
I try to remember all the reasons we moved (lack of parking, twunt of a neighbour, slightly shoddy down-at-heel look to the street, the anti-social behaviour of the local 'yoof' in the high street at the end of our street etc etc.

But mostly I remember the nice athmosphere of the house, the cornicing, the old fireplaces we so painstakingly restored, the way the sunlight streamed into the dining room, nice neighbours, the village feel to the place, the great italian coffee shop at the end of the street etc...

But I must focus on making this house my home and this village 'my' village.

[Mirage]

BehindLock,I could have written your posts.We moved from a beautiful big Victorian house in a down at heel street,to a rundown 60's house [hadn't been touched since then] in a beautiful,sought after village.

For a couple of years I didn't feel settled and really missed my old house.I used to dream that we hadn't moved and I'd still got my cornicing,huge rooms,tiled floors ect.

Then one day,we were walking past our old house when the people who we sold it to came out the front door.They asked us in to show us what they'd done to the place and do you know,it wasn't as big and lovely as I'd built it up to be in my mind.I'd forgotten the steep stairs,the narrow hall,the bathroom window that moved if it was windy,how overlooked it was and the scruffy street it was on.It was a nice house,but not what I'd thought it was.I was completely cured of my obsession with it and now wouldn't consider leaving our new house.

[allatsea1]

I've seen one much better - would swap in a heartbeat :(

[BehindLockNumberNine]

Oh allatsea - Rightmove was supposed to prove to you that you bought the best house for your money... That is what it is doing for us. I check rightmove daily - it is a bit like browsing the property pages, I just like to see what is out there - but there is never anything I desperately want (well, not within my price range anyway).

I think that is why we ended up with this place, there is nothing worth falling in love with in this area within our price range. So we have bought a perfectly decent house in a perfectly decent area and will live comfortably for the next 10 years. Then we will sell and buy the one we love.

[allatsea1]

Oh and I wish bloody Rightmove didn't exist...It's a daily torture.

[allatsea1]

Oh girls! Please stop talking about period features and old houses: my heart aches! If you think 1950s is modern you should see mine...we went for good-ish location, good-ish size, good-ish everything. Now I wish we'd have gone for small, wrecked but idyllic location...will never learn. Dh thinks I'm an UTTER loon if that makes you feel any better howmuchyousay.

figcake - oh I wish I could but I just as we've just moved in and had so much help I just couldn't do it without being committed by friends and family! Will be making that call though under the cloak of darkness in precisely 1 year and 6 months (unless I have a sudden change of heart which I highly doubt.)

[howmuchyousay]

I feel like this today and need a slap.

We bought a house before Christmas. The house we bought was easily affordable, leaving us plenty of disposable income every month. The house is fine although has been recently extended and modernised and not all to my taste. The garden is too small for me as the previous owners old off the land at the back to build another house (long thin garden).

TODAY, the house next door has come on the market, completely unmodernised, unextended but still has the full size garden. I'm gutted, even though I haven't the time or the energy for big building project.

Dh thinks I'm a loon.

[BehindLockNumberNine]

I must admit, our old Victorian House (the grand old bearded lady we used to call her) was an absolute money pit. But I loved her...

Fiddle, that is what we did. We could only take a small step up the ladder so went for a more modern house as we could get more for our money.
But I am already hankering after the period property dh and I will buy once the dc have moved out...

[Fiddledee]

About to move from a lovely period house into a modern house. My DH will not miss the DIY but we are going for huge space and garden over period style. Thats the choice really for the same money. We will move to a smaller more rural house once kids have left home which will have lots of period features. I will not miss the drafts

[confusedperson]

BehindLockNumberNine, I would love to have your house! Your house is for living, my house is for an outsider's admiration, but not a pleasure to live constantly thinking 'what on earth next is it going to break?' Perhaps one just needs lots of money to own an old house.

[BehindLockNumberNine]

oh no, confused person, your house sounds lovely to me

Mine is too new (it was built in 1953, not touched since 1970 and we have just completely renovated it) and too soul-less. I have no fireplace for a start!!
But I have to think of this house as a means to an end, not a great love affair.

It is convenient, comfortable and offers the children easy access to school / friends / the town via cycle path and bus route etc.

Once they have grown up dh and I will probably not stay here. For me this is not a house for life. But it is a convenient and suitable house for our current family life.

[confusedperson]

And I have never stopped looking at Rightmove, it is my everyday activity since the day one. Sorry for three posts in a row, I guess just wanted to vent.

[confusedperson]

Well forgot to mention, that I went from hating my house to it being just about OK, like it was an old sick person which I got used to take care of.. A bit sad though :(

[confusedperson]

Oh guys, the lovers of old houses! I have the bay windows (at the back as well!), a Victorian fireplace, nice staircase rail, old floorboards, large kitchen/diner (everyone says 'wow' when they see it), potential for 2 additional bedrooms and downstairs cloakroom (what neighbours have done), lovely garden (not my style but done lovely), cul-de-sac location, nearby large park, close to train station. But also, everything I touched within last 1.5 years, needs work and my heart feels - never ending work! I have fighted draughty floorboards, leaking bathroom, leaking conservatory roof, penetrating and rising damp, peeling paints, faulty electricity, cracks here and there, slugs and cats in the garden, not too mention that I don't have money for the potential. I question myself, whether I should spend at least 10k for relocation (the money which I don't have!) and get something cheaper/modern/low maintenance, or should I invest in my theoretically super-desirable property. I doubt if I ever going to love it...

[figcake]

all at sea - can you not just test the water by making that call to the agent and seeing if it leads to anything? Presumably, there is no work to be done on it, given that you bought it recently.

[BehindLockNumberNine]

I think a year and a half is a decent amount of time to wait. If you don't love it by then chances are you never will. Good luck with selling and buying

[allatsea1]

Well at least you're doing something about it CHDmum. I hope it all works out - the market seems to have really picked up :)

[CHDmum]

I'm sat here waiting for the estate agent as we speak. We've been here a year and a half and I cant stay any longer. We moved 14 miles from work/school as it was the only place we could afford to buy a house (we were renting before)but it isn't working and me and the kids need to go 'back home'. Husband not best pleased but he appreciates we will be happier going back. Not the best move financially we will ever make but my heart tells me it is.
No, it's not just you. x

[figcake]

allatsea - well, that's just it. My DH loved that house and simply could not understand why I felt that way. If he had his own way (which he def doesn't!) we would have lived there forever.

[allatsea1]

I know exactly what you mean fig - I need some bashed-about-ness too. As everyone rallied round so much to help with the move it's going to have to be done in a couple of years time with very little fanfare. In the meantime there is much worse a fate than having food to eat and a fully functioning roof over our heads! I'm going to have to suck it up and hope that next time we get it right (well, I say we...partner and boys quite content)....