behaviour in P1 class - advice please

[KMR281]

hi,am newbie here, sorry if this is a long post.
my eldest son, Christian, started school in August. They have a system of golden time and traffic lights (they start on a greeen light, bad behaviour gets a warning and an amber light, further bad behaviour goes to red light and a loss of golden time, but each day they start again at green).

Christian today was a bit upset getting ready and said he didn't want to go to school EVER (!), eventually it turned out that was because he had lost golden time (he has had 2 red lights this week) and was quite upset by this.

I contacted the school, and his teacher phoned me after school was out. Bascially before christmas he was quiet and well-mannered, and now he is not 'on task', is not listening, mucking about, and making the wrong choices about friends (the teacher said this), and spacing out abit.

He is such a sensitive bright wee boy, and I so don't want him to not acheive what he could do, becuase he is basically messing around - I know he's only wee - but how can I get him to concentrate in class and behave??? they have so much to learn, and there's no space to slack about and fall behind.

We have the same thing at home - since before Christmas we have found that he isn't listening (to me anyway) and is giving us a bit of back chat, and using not nice tone of voice when he is speaking sometimes. i had put this down to tiredness, and hearing what older children say in the playground - but what can I do??

I am a bit upset about this, i know he finds school alot of work, but what can I do to help, other than send him to bed at 6.30!! He already is in bed by 7pm, so I don't know that I could realistically get him in bed any earlier. does he need more food? different food? is it a phase? is he just in with the 'wrong crowd'?

any ideas would be very VERY welcome as I am a distressed mummy!

[smee]

It's just school - that's all. It's so much for them (arguably too much) and a lot of kids start playing up because they're exhausted. I'd say keep doing as you've been doing, so letting him talk about it and try to articulate it. Definitely keep a good relationship with the teacher and work with her to help him through. + my top tip would be to keep him off school for a day every so often to recharge his batteries. I used to do this when DS was in reception. I'd to tell him he had a temperature so he genuinely thought he was ill - he always bounced back to school far more positive the next day. Whatever you do though am sure it will pass and it is normal. Just keep on top of it and work with the school.

[cory]

tbh it's not you that can make him behave in class, it's the teacher: that is precisely what those red lights and loss of golden time are all about

she is doing exactly the same job as you would be doing if he misbehaved at home

it's not something you need to protect him against any more than friends need to rush in an protect him from being disciplined by you

after all, they are not terribly cruel or harsh sanctions, are they?

and eventually, they will take effect

don't feel that you have to present the teacher with a perfectly behaved child- she's seen it all before, and I am sure she too thinks he is a lovely little boy

it's just that it's all rather new and overwhelming to him atm

I think the hardest thing to learn when they start school is that we are no longer negotiating their exchanges with the outside world- that's what growing up is all about

[KMR281]

thanks guys,some good tips here. Quite like the idea of keeping Christian off school sometimes, I think it would really help. School is just so much for them at this age isn't it.
I'll check his hearing out - sometimes a cold can bung up his ears, so thanks for that idea too.
I think aswell that Cory is right, part of it is that I have to let go a bit and stop worrying too much!
it's hard being mum sometimes!