What was your experience of primary education and has it influenced you?

[Cortina]

Curious to know whether others feel strongly about the early years at school due to good/bad experiences they've had themselves?

Certainly I am much more involved than my parents and will watch children's progress/happiness at school very closely.

Mine wasn't a good experience and one of the things I always swore I'd do was try to get it as 'right' as possible for my DCs.

Most I've come across are fairly relaxed about the whole thing .

[Builde]

I went to three different primary school due to parents moving areas. They were all completely different and I feel that it has given me some ability to observe our local primary schools.

One was a standard school in a middle-England town. The next was a very fun and interesting Cambridge school full of academic's children. The third was a school in a fishing village. All were state schools but all very different. (This was, of course, in the days before Ofsted and National Curriculum)

I struggled in the final school - I think it was a move too many - and even at the age of 9 could tell it wasn't very good. We didn't do anything! I was used to an exciting, creative, Cambridge type experience.

However, when it came to looking at our local schools for our children, it seems that most primary schools now are like the Cambridge one; interesting and exciting, with lots of things on offer. (There are probably exceptions, with a few appearing to be sats factories). However, I was keen for my dd to go one with a mix of children; I didn't want the ultra-middle class Yummy Mummy type school - they can seem a bit narrow.

The biggest impact that my schooling made was probably a desire not to move around a lot in my adult life. I like my home - though modest - and have no desire to lave it. However, I quite enjoyed experiencing different schools and wonder whether my dds will get rather bored being schooled with the same people from the age of 4 until 16.

[choosyfloosy]

Interesting thread. I went to two state primaries and loved both, especially the second (my first teacher at the second was Jeremy Strong, now an author - a wonderful teacher). Later on at that school we were allowed/encouraged to do all sorts of stuff, including writing, rehearsing and producing full-length plays with barely any visible adult support (there was probably more than I remember!) There was also a wonderful choir that was compulsory for all children. I was alternately bored and mystified in a lot of lessons but I think this would have been my experience in virtually any school, I have very uneven skills.

So my ds goes to his local state primary and I hope he loves it as much as I loved mine - I am about the standard of singing technique there and sometimes hark longingly for a choir school. But dh, having gone to a very driven prep school, is determined that ds shall have a less pressured childhood and I agree.

[Greatfun]

I hadn't realised it until I read this thread but yes primary did affect me. Due to family issues I went to 6 different primary schools. I hated being the new girl and I know it has left me feeling quite insecure in big friendship groups (I just don't do groups) and I remember always feeling left out. However, as I get older I have put a positive spin on it and see how I am adaptable to change (unlike DH who went to the same primary from start to finish). We are applying for primary school for DD right now and I wouldnt want her to have so much change going on.

As far as education goes I suppose it would have been quite fractured with all the moving but on the whole I think I went to good schools.

[mixedmamameansbusiness]

I went to a inner city standard state school. When I think back now I remember having no idea what was going on in Maths lessons when I got to secondary school but I do have fantastic memories of my second year teacher and the topics we studied that year. There was some bullying but overall a good experience. I went to secondary school excited about learning new things and that has never left me.

DS1 is starting Primary school in Spet 2010 and have been reading some of the threads on here and am most worried about bullying... or just being left out.

I think that the whole is he happy/socialising and progressing as most of you have said is most important and I can only hope that the school we pick (which unfort in our area isnt that much choice and all oversubscribed, even the bad ones) will suit him and he will enjoy it.

I hope to get as involved as possible with the school, helping out wherever I can.

[notcitrus]

I wasn't allowed to go to the local state school - apparently when my mum explained I was profoundly deaf, they said "we can't be having with that" - she explained I could read and everything age 4, "we REALLY can't be having with that!"
Luckily instead of sending 5-year-old me to weekly boarding, I ended up at the local private school and loved it, except a couple teachers.

I did then get moved school with no explanation from my parents, and was determined to be unhappy at the new one, and was for a whole year - I was a stubborn kid. Luckily the enxt teacher was wonderful and I was then very happy. I'd been moved up a year age 5, which worked really well for me as I was then on roughly the same achievement level in many things with the others - and I'd have still been bad at PE in my own year.

But then we moved abroad and at an expat school I was 3-4 years younger than the others. Bullying ensued especially as I was still top of the class. But the teacher was the worst bully, and the worst bit was my parents were convinced that a teacher wouldn't bully and wouldn't lie to them. They firmly believe people in authority are always right... and that there was no point in going to school plays/concerts because a bunch of 7-year-olds are bound to be crap

Apart from attending some concerts, I hope A will be happy at the local primary - they're supposed to be quite good round here. And I want to ensure I talk to the teachers and other parents regularly and have a clue about the in things kids want - I may well say 'no I'm not buying you X' but I don't want to tell them they're silly for wanting them.

Don't know about secondary, but DNs have gone to inner city state schools and done well - their parents said "the question isn't how many %A-C grades the school gets, but how likely your kid is to get what you think they should in that school". And their experience has convinced me that Ofsted needs to be taken with a pile of salt - eg a uniform was introduced against parents wishes plus 'culture clubs' - Black Club, Asian Club and White Club. Black Club gets funding to take the kids on cool trips to boost their esteem. White Club is four kids and no money - DNs mixed race friend isn't allowed to join and has to go to Black Club instead. Result - school goes from pretty happily racially mixed to having more tension than previously! But apparently this and the uniform will 'improve our Ofsted rating' - and indeed when the report came through, Ofsted were most impressed by both...

[clop]

I was happy and bloomed academically (hugely) at an inner city primary for Infants in a deprived area. Then I moved to (all white) Junior school with great reputation in desirable middle class neighbourhood. Where I was teased and miserable for years, and my academic work was very lackluster. My parents did their best, but they very much had their own lives and were unsympathetic to my social problems.

So stuff like League Table results or 'Outstanding' Ofsted ratings don't rate much in my mind. Getting DC settled and socially happy at school is my foremost concern. I'm very interested in their day-to-day experiences. I will choose High School for each DC on the basis of potential to be socially happy, too.

[Chrysanthemum5]

I had a good time at primary school. I lived in a new town so the schools were all brand new, and very well equipped - in fact when we recently toured a private school to see what it was like, their facilities were nowhere near as good as the ones at my school. But DH does say my experience was pretty rare, and not to be used as a guide!

My Dad really didn't bother, mum had five children and worked full time so had almost no time for reading, homework etc. but she did her best and she did instill a belief that we had to work hard at school.

So, now we're torn with the DCs. Our local school is good, but vastly over-subscribed so class sizes are huge. DH is very keen to shift DS to a private school, I think we should leave DS where he is but be willing to put in lots of time to helping him outside school.

[zebramummy]

i started school already free reading, writing and a real maths whizz - i always felt that both my peer group and my teachers were slow, dull, lazy ...most of them were tbh. i was bullied because my mother was (and still is) v pro-frugal living; at a time when it was def not fashionable. we were geeky and posh and attended a crap school (still is crap) in a deprived area with a flirtatious father who looked like a film star ...it was hard esp when the teachers would lust after him the day following parents' evening; breathlessly telling me about the "firmness" of his hands and asking me how romantic he was towards our mother
ds is also at state school but a much better one - he is unlikely to have gained much of a grasp of the 3Rs when he starts school next year. i worry about bullying though would not want to pay prep-school fees if it did not work out. i would be forced to move, probably. i would love to HE but I lack motivation (v unlike my mother on this one).

[Acinonyx]

Spokette - I remember a lot of racism at secondary school but none at primary (I'm mixed race and and went to otherwise entirely white schools).

We have moved to a village - and suddenly I am hearing racist (and other offensive) comments I haven't heard in years - or even decades. Had an 'incident' just this week which makes me really wonder if we have made the right choice.

And I mentioned this to my hairdresser and got the response that people are just way too sensitive about this stuff these days. It has made me feel very alienated and homesick for my international urban village.

I will be very interested to see how dd's school deal with these issues.

[cherryblossoms]

[sneaking back - don't want to hi-jack]

[V. insightful, Spokette.]

[Squishabelle]

In Primary I was bullied by a girl in the year above and I detest bullying of any sort (even moved house once because of the bully child from hell living next door).

I also seem to remember hating the favouritism shown by teachers to certain pupils.

I also suffered from 'gingerism' throughout!

[spokette]

I know what you mean about articulating this in RL. I don't bother because of the number of times I get some covert put down of "having a chip on my shoulder" and "let by gones be bygones".

If we let bygones be bygones why bother with history and why bother with Remembrance day?

[piscesmoon]

I went to a very rural, small village school and I loved it. I cried if I was ill and had to miss it.

[cherryblossoms]

Sorry, long post. Weirdly I never tell people about that in RL ... .

[cherryblossoms]

Spokette - the racism is what I remember most about primary too.

My dm was Irish and it was not a good time to be Irish. I remember even teachers telling anti-Irish jokes.

It was an almost-entirely white school and I remember the head coming in before a new girl joined and offering a present to anyone who would be her friend. Why? She was non-white (dual heritage Asian-Jewish) and that was what passed for anti-racism in the cultural backwater we grew up in.

Inevitably, we ended up as bfs (and our mothers were both unusually leftie, so they got on too). I always think of it a little wryly; our friendship was forged in the experience of being picked last for netball teams. I think I lucked out though; she was arty and bohemian, even at primary. I think it was that friendship that taught me that being a bit of an outcast was actually no bad thing; it taught you not to follow the herd.

I think the experience has made me sensitive to issues around inclusion. I thank my lucky stars that my dc's school experience is nothing like that. But I find I get overly upset when I see instances of structural exclusion or individual (esp. discriminatory) bullying. I guess I'll never shake off the experience of being that child.

[spokette]

I did enjoy my primary education but I also have memories of the entrenched racism. I remember one schoolgirl saying to me when I was about 7yo that she wished that people like me would go back to the jungle where we came from (parents are Jamaican immigrants)..

Things are much better now when it comes to racism. What it did show me was that despite going to a school in a socially deprived area where expectations were low,I still embraced learning because of my parent's encouragement and belief that I was receiving a first class education when compared to what they got in Jamaica (both left school at 10yo).

Therefore, my DTS go to the local state school which according to Ofsted is only satifactory (but what do they know), even though we could easily afford to send them to private. I believe in supporting my local school and I always help out at the PTA plus I was class rep for a year and have been asked to be a parent governor. I am also working with a teacher to build up a science club because I am passionate about enthusing children about the wonders of science (I am a research scientist).

[onemoretimetoday]

I was privately educated from age 4,firstly in a tiny pre prep and then at a very academic girls school. Whilst I was happy at school my overiding memory is being bogged down with homework and my parents saying no to every extra curricular activity I wanted to do because I had too much homework. I was insanely jealous of the children, including my siblings who went to the local state school. As a direct consequence of this my DC's are at our local school and they are having a ball. Most of my friends have children in the private sector and I breathe a sigh of relief when they talk about the amount of homework their DC's have and how they're preparing for exams in Yr 2 and know that I have made the best choice for my DC's I'd be a terrible prep school parent.

Interestingly though,I can't get my head round the children going state at 11, possibly because it's so out of my realm of experience and because at that point I loved school and want them to have the same opportunities.

[pointyhat]

I enjoyed primary school on the whole. Liked the sociableness of it. Don;t have many clear memories, it washed over me pleasantly enough.

[hellion]

I enjoyed infants school - although don't remember doing as much work as my ds does.

I had two teachers at junior school (first year and fourth year) as it was at the time, who used to smack a lot. I remember being hit for not getting my sums right, and for not drawing things correctly. I am pretty sure that most people in the class used to get treated the same. There was a bullying problem but it was by the teachers not the children.

Things must have improved - at least my ds doesn;t have to worry about being smacked at school.

[Acinonyx]

For different reasons we have the same philosophy as fiercebadrabit. I went to an OK-good state primary. I was several years ahead of my peers though and was left to coast along. My parents were not at all involved and my mother in particualr was hostile to education in general.

As long as dd is happy and making progress we feel we can probably pick up any slack and fill in the gaps. Like cory - I am in research and feel able to push some boundaries (but not others). I've also been a teacher, which helps. If things go sour, we will pull her out and look at other options, such as private ed.

I was bullied at secondary but not primary. I'm not thrilled about the rough play and other Lord of the Flies aspects of school - but dd's primary (which we moved house to attend) does take these issues very seriously.

[chicorita]

I loved school and I went to an old fashioned village primary with a very strict headmisstress and teachers but I still loved it. When I think of some of the things the teachers and head did to us, I'd go mad if my dc were treated like that now.

I remember at age 5 being turned around at the school gate and sent home with my 4 year old sister to get proper coats in case it rained Imagine if you drop your dc off at school and 15 minutes later they turn up on the doorstep, teacher said we need a coat.

[excitedforinterview]

I enjoyed primary school but I think it was a too big school and if you were bright and well behaved you tended to get ignored. I think I did well academically because I could coast well, I don't think I had any deep understanding of various subjects - especially maths.

Teachers were nice though and I had lots of fun and lots of opportunities.

[cory]

Should have added that I didn't really have a negative experience of teachers as a child. Some of them weren't terribly bright, but I was prepared for that as my parents were teachers and very aware of the fact that not all their colleagues were uber-bright. Primary school teacher was brilliant though. And pretty well all of them were kind and well meaning. Corporal punishment had already been abolished, and on the whole I remember a pleasant and respectful tone, from both teachers and (mainly) pupils.

This was in Sweden so option of pulling a child out and going private didn't exist. Otoh schools were much of a muchness, the really awful state schools didn't really exist either. Academically perfectly ok, not exactly up to the standards of my own extremely academic family, but I didn't really expect that: I had already worked out that my family was the odd one out.

[Broke]

Hubby and i both went to good to average state schools, in all honesty though i remember very little about it and don't feel i learnt much.
I spent a lot of time gazing out of the window, hence mine are in private with small class sizes to ensure they don't get away with wasting their time like i did.