Help me to understand this teachers response - i dont get it!

[shatteredmumsrus]

ds has just started junior school and has only just settled really. There is a boy from his infant school that is also there who he had a few problems with ie. he spat on my son and tried to strangle him. He is labelled the naughty boy and i accept that he hnt had the best upbringing and its ultimately not his fault. However son was upset as he pinched and ate his crisps and then took his gloves off him and wont give them him back. I mentioned it to the boys form teacher this morning and her response was - can you not let him bring gloves in - WHAT!!!! They are plain woolen gloves that he keeps in his coat pockets, not goalie gloves or anything flash. I was lost for words and just said 'why?' She said 'well they get lost, do they have his name in?' She said she was aware of this incident as she said she had looked for them but couldn't find them. I spoke to anther mum and she said she would be fuming and to tell the Head that you were not happy with the answer i got. I never get 'het up' about school things but this has really annoyed me. Surely the boy should be punished for stealing instead of not allowing my son to take the gloves in???

[shatteredmumsrus]

Thanks all. Spoke to my ds teacher and she said she was monitoring the behavour of this lad towards my ds. Apparently there are other incidents that have gone on that I am unaware of.

[RhubarbEatsBiscuitsOnTheBog]

Well, you do have a problem here. The teacher cannot accuse a child of stealing unless they find the gloves in his possession. Put yourself in the other mum's place, what if the teacher said that your little boy had been accused of stealing - what would your reaction be? The teacher had no doubt searched for the gloves but couldn't find them.

Do you know anything more about this little boy? Does he has a problem such as ADHD? I would make an appointment to speak to the class teacher after school and talk to her about these problems.

It sounds like bad communication all round really. She should be informing you of what she has done and what the situation is, but equally you should try to make an appointment to speak to her on her own, when there aren't loads of other children and parents around who are also demanding her attention.

And just as an aside, label everything. Because it is a nightmare if you have 30 kids in a class, all with gloves in their pockets that are liable to fall out or be left somewhere and none of them have their names in.

[cory]

Basically, teacher is trying to evade her responsibilities by pretending the main issue is the gloves being lost. This is because schools are not responsible for lost items- but they jolly well are responsible for bullying!!! She is just trying to worm out of it.

[AMumInScotland]

Ditto - it's up to the teacher to deal with the situation. The gloves didn't "get lost", and there's no reason why your DS should be expected to not have them just because of another child's behaviour. This is bullying and the school should have a policy for dealing with it, to make sure it gets stopped while it's still at this level.

[cory]

What ranting said.

[ranting]

We had a similiar sort of thing in Middle school with ds (we have a different schooling system here). He had a problem with a couple of kids picking on him on the way home, when I spoke to the school the teachers first response was 'Oh he'll have to stay behind and walk home after they've gone'. To which I replied 'Absolutely not, do you think it's wise to punish him for the actions of someone else then?'

I asked to speak to someone else and he got the Head teacher and he agreed with me and (more importantly) sorted it out.

I would point out to her that punishing your son for someone else behaviour is not acceptable, if you get no joy, I would ask to speak to the head of year next. And ask to see their bullying policy too.