How to know whether state or private is best for DD

[Honeyandginger]

Help! This may be a non - issue after assessments, but we've applied to 2 private primary schools for our DD (reception 2020). Both are small (single class intake, buildings are converted houses) in NW London. Both excellent academically and seem caring, but resources not visibly vastly better than our local state school. Our local state school (prob in catchment) is 3 form entry, Ofsted outstanding with v.good results (though not as good as the private schools). DH and I were raised solidly working class but are now in a position where we could make private work, with sacrifices. Our DD is fairly sensitive+ I think will be studious; she's bright but I wouldn't claim she's a genius. Please chip in with factors we should weigh up when deciding where to choose, if we're lucky enough to be in that position. Thank you :)

[CruCru]

Yes, sorry BubblesBuddy, I thought you probably weren’t being serious. I think I’ve read too many AIBU threads where people have said that they have no idea why people with children live in London.

[reefedsail]

So y6 just becomes pressurised! Scholarship streams are still there for a reason though!

I don't disagree with you that the attitudes you describe are prevalent in areas of the South East @BubblesBuddy. It is one of the numerous reasons we moved away. However, it really isn't like that out in rural areas where there are plenty of school places to go around. There will be no pressure on my DS, or, I believe, the majority of his local peers- I'm sorry that seems to disappoint you!

[MrsMcCaveHad23Sons]

The only thing I would add is that it's great to have lots of local friends if you go state. We're not in London but the catchment areas for local state primaries are very small and that means friends are literally around the corner. Also useful for emergencies!

I always feel slightly sorry for the child down our road who is driven to the local private school past all the children walking to state.

[Happysummer]

I would not consider a school with one form entry (I went to a state village school with 13, including me, in the whole year!!).

Small schools are very limiting socially, and you don't get to choose friends, rather you have to make it work regardless. If it's primary, after seven years of the same people, they will be sick of them!

Larger primary schools have more sports teams (in my school there wasn't enough of us to do sports teams!). Also, larger schools are more likely to have a successful PTA/parent forum etc as you need a large group to get a few volunteers.

Large schools have a greater variety of parents and skills. In my daughter's primary (3 form entry; 500 in the whole school) one parent had the skills to write the school song; one parent is a professional theatre manager who volunteered to help with the school production; one parent is a carpenter who made a replica of the Titanic! I could go on, but more children means more parents with different skills.

DDs school has breakfast and after-school club. The single form primary down the road doesn't as they are too small for it to be viable.

At primary, I do think large is best! More funding, more resources, more teachers with varying experience and more potential friends 😀

[BubblesBuddy]

So y6 just becomes pressurised! Scholarship streams are still there for a reason though!

[dietcokemum]

Happy to give some advice if you give the names of the schools as I know the area quite well

[reefedsail]

frazzled by y8 being full of prep for CE and waiting for scholarship results

This is pretty outdated as things in the 13-18 sector have swayed strongly towards Y6 pre-testing with unconditionals available at that point. CE is on it's way out.

[BubblesBuddy]

My Dorset comment was totally tongue in cheek!

[CruCru]

We don’t know all that much about the OP. It may be that moving to Dorset (or somewhere like that) isn’t an option.

I do see what you’re saying about facilities but a school is so much more than facilities. If the OP is in Camden / Hampstead / St John’s Wood / Kentish Town then schools with enormous playing fields (state or private) won’t be available. The OP mentioned assessments, which makes me think that she is reasonably central. Having said that, I do know of a few schools who do Games in Regents Park.

It’s worth deciding what you think of the Head, were you impressed with the children that you met, do they make good use of the space and facilities that they have and are you happy with the leavers’ destinations. If you don’t come out of the open afternoon singing then it isn’t the right choice.

[BubblesBuddy]

I would move to Dorset! No hassle over school places there it seems.

I know so many parents who were frazzled by y8 being full of prep for CE and waiting for scholarship results. This was not London and DC were prepped for the most well known academic schools. I too knew where my DD was going and that’s so much easier. Others aimed a lot higher!

[CruCru]

Ah fair enough. I live in central London and don’t know any schools near enough to me with the sort of space you describe (state or private).

NW London could mean central or it could mean right out.

[JoJoSM2]

m.youtube.com/watch?v=95Z7VZPZnxw

I've found a video for Cottesmore. That building is stunning!

[reefedsail]

@CruCru there's the 'huge' converted houses you've identified, then places like this converted house: www.cottesmoreschool.com/#

I think that's what people mean when they say they want to see the difference between their Prep and a state school.

[reefedsail]

Also I live in Dorset where more people think like I do than not.

[reefedsail]

@BubblesBuddy I already know where my DS will be going. However, even if I didn't, I wouldn't want him to go somewhere that was out of his reach without tarnishing his childhood.

[JoJoSM2]

CruCru, that probably seems huge in zone 2 but the school grounds don't seem bigger than my garden in zone 5. In outer London or outside London, there are many preps with their own pools, acres of grounds with own tennis courts, football, rugby and cricket pitches, forests to use for forest school, adventure playgrounds. Some preps even come with a 9-hole golf course. Buildings are large, classrooms spacious with lots of extra halls and rooms for specialist teaching or a dedicated Lego room etc.

Personally, I can see what I'm paying for (on top of small classes and fab curriculum). I just really struggle to impressed by zone 1-2 schools.

[CruCru]

This school is also in a converted house.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hereward_House_School

[CruCru]

To be fair, quite a few private schools are in converted houses. Some of the houses in Hampstead are very grand indeed.

This one is in Golders Green and is huge.

www.hamhigh.co.uk/education/historic-home-of-ljcc-and-ballerina-anna-pavlova-to-become-catholic-girls-school-1-4276463

[BubblesBuddy]

reefedsail: unfortunately when push comes to shove in Y8 you will care about where your DS ends up! It’s inevitable. My DD2 went to an outstanding prep and parents are competitive for their DC. They cannot help themselves. All their high minded values go out of the window when DC isn’t in the scholarship stream or playing for the first team or doesn’t get that coveted role in the school play!

Having said that, if you can stay relaxed amongst all of this, then well done you! I knew what senior school my DD2 was aiming for as her sister was already there - from a state school. I’m not in Lindon though and I am grad about that. A few miles out of London is less of a frenzy!

My DDs prep offered just about everything a child could want. It was more expensive than other local preps (the ones in converted houses) but worth it. The local school her sister had gone to was struggling and had made poor recruitment choices.

I wouldn’t look at tiny preps with not much more on offer than state schools. Schools with sports centres, playing fields, music and drama facilities, art studios and after school clubs which cater for all sorts of interests is what I wanted on top of academics. Others just want a small class and a safe haven so tiny preps exist.

Only you can really know where your DD will flourish and what route you want for later. However bright DC do get into decent schools!

[nldnmum]

DC1 was in state then started at private school after 7+. The state school was outstanding and only 10 minutes walking away. Private school is 30 minutes away on public transport. When DC1 was younger a closer school was much more important.

Also agree with pp about social aspects. I'm really glad DC1 got to mix with a wide range of children from diverse backgrounds. Make her so much more down to earth and appreciative of her opportunities. Her new school is not as mixed racially and culturally and certainly not mixed in terms of socio-economic backgrounds.

We are doing the same for DC2

[JoJoSM2]

IMO, small schools in cnverted houses are a joke so I wouldn't bother. We've going down the independent route and in addition to small classes, also want to see acres of grounds with fab sports opportunities, great music as art facilities and generally a marked difference between the free and fee-paying option.

Also, in my teaching and tutoring experience, children from very good state schools have no problems securing places at top senior independent schools. They just need to do some tuition on the side as state schools do not prepare for 11+.

[Honeyandginger]

@reefedsail, yes, I need to look into that more. I know entry is competitive, but I have no idea of the likelihood of places becoming available at 8+. Its worth me at least checking out...

[reefedsail]

As PP have said, it can't be a 'thing' in the areas of London where it is a bun fight for every school place.

[Honeyandginger]

@Throughabushbackwards, didn't even know this was a thing. I'll definitely explore the feasibility of this, thank you

[Throughabushbackwards]

In your position, I'd do the old "state until 8" trick - state for R, 1 and 2 then into Prep for Y3. Let's you save for a few years.