5 yo dismissed to strannger

[funnyfoursome]

OK I know it's the end of term and things get a bit lax but today I got stuck in a traffic jam on the way to pick up (temporary traffic lights that were stuck). Parent B calls me and asks if I'm stuck. I say yes and we agree that the school will hold onto them - there's nothing we can do. Normal procedure is that after 10 mins staff take the children to the front office and we then have to sign them out (and grovel!!). Unbeknownst to me Parent B calls Parent C (scatty childminder) who I don't know and my son doesn't know (no connection with any children in the year group). So apparently teacher hands over my son and Parent B's child to Parent C and I find them in the playground. Given that we have to give a phone call or written note for anyone else to take our child home I'm not v happy. According to my son she said to the teacher 'I'm taking these two' Surely this is a safeguarding issue if any old stranger can just pick up young children, or am I in an end of term grump??!!! (Be gentle am very tired!!)

[Norestformrz]

Why didn't you contact the school and ask them to hold your child until you got there when you knew you'd be late ?

[Violetroselily]

How were you able to speak to Parent B whilst in the car, but not the school? 🤔

[Caribbeanyesplease]

Violetroselily

Exactly. OP has returned to answer since I asked the question!

[Armchairanarchist]

You can't use the phone excuse for not contacting school when you must have used it to contact parent B. Or am I missing something.

[Pengggwn]

I wouldn't be happy at all.

[Norestformrz]

"I don't need to ring the school to check as the school are in loco parentis until I collect him" no they aren't. If you fail to collect your child and haven't informed the school you'll be later then the procedure is to try to contact you or a named person and if this isn't possible and the child still hasn't been collected to contact the local MASH team.

[admission]

You need to establish just exactly what the sequence of events was here, because it is very easy to see how this may well have happened from the school's point of view.
Having said that you do need to work with parent B to be sure of your ground before you talk to the school. It is clearly a safeguarding issue around having too lax systems for handing over the pupils but has your child been collected by Parent C before, which would lead the school teacher to believe that this was an agreed arrangement?
I am sure that the school and the staff involved will want to know this happened and that it shows a flaw in their system for release, so that they can resolve it.

[funnyfoursome]

For all of you asking the smart questions, traffic was at a standstill at first so my car engine was switched off. I didn't make a call but I was comfortable in answering a call from Parent B. As we were then crawling along no I didn't want to make a call to the school. At this point it was pick up time, and they are often let out a little late then the teacher waits for 5 minutes so no it wasn't necessary to call the school at that point. Once the temporary traffic lights were removed the traffic returned to normal so I definitely couldn't call the school. Some of you are so **ing uptight I can only conclude you are in need of a shag or a glass of wine or both - you know who you are ...

[IStillDrinkCava]

They shouldn't be handing a 5 year old to anyone without checking with you first. Especially if you don't even have the phone number of the person who had your child(?)

I've been stuck on the motorway with no phone. School should be ringing others on your contact list. OP not having phoned them doesn't make it OK that they let him go with a stranger.

I think you just let them know, calmly and factually. The level of alarm it raises in them (which personally I think will be quite high) will be based on the fact that they let a 5 year old out into the care of someone he'd never met, without his parent's say-so. You don't need to go in all guns blazing. It's probably an easy mistake for them to make when they know that you know B, but it's an opportunity to make sure it doesn't happen again.

[goingthroughthemotionz]

Teachers have been dismissed for this. It is gross misconduct.

[lotsofplanetshaveanorth]

No need to be so rude - you asked us to be gentle with you in your first post and then very crass in your last

[triangulator]

Wow OP is getting a lot of stick for not phoning the school.

I have handsfree on. This means if my phone rings, I can answerr with a click of a button on my steering wheel. To call someone who's in my 'favourites' is relatively easy. But to call just a random number or a number in my contacts list is not easy. I wouldn't do this whilst driving.

She shouldn't have to either. School are in loco parentis.

I'm a teacher. Unless we have express verbal or written permission, no child will be collected by anyone other than those expressly on the list of people with permission.

If a parent claims they are picking up x and I have no record of it, the office will call x's mum/dad/carer to check. If we can't get through, they don't go. We are a small school though, I expect logistically this would be challenging for a larger school.

Definite breach of safeguarding.

[PurpleFlower1983]

Does Parent B ever pick your child up?

[Norestformrz]

Perhaps the school needs to be in the favourites list for unexpected delays.
The OPs child shouldn't have been handed over to a stranger (and I'm very surprised he didn't make a fuss when someone he didn't know tried to pick him up) but the OP needs to realise they need to inform the school if there's a problem or they may find the person collecting their child is from social services.

[goingthroughthemotionz]

What bollocks.

[Bezm]

It sounds to me like parent B has phoned the school to say you're both stuck in traffic and parent C will be collecting the children. A perfectly feasible thing to do.
What school should have done was to not let your child go with parent C as you personally had not phoned. They should have phoned you directly to confirm this arrangement. The person at fault is the office staff who took the phone call from parent B. They have obviously not double checked with you. The teacher is not at fault, she would have been told that it's ok for your child to go with parent C.
However, it absolutely IS your responsibility to phone school if you're going to be late to let them know.

[strawberrisc]

As another poster said, my daughter had to have a password to be “released”. I was asked on the spot on her first day for one and my mind went blank. I just blurted out “Hoggle” (from Labyrinth). Saw her all through primary and still makes me smile!

[HollyGibney]

I'm baffled by this. Surely calling the school is the very first thing you'd do? You took a call from your friend so clearly felt able to, I would already have called the school at this point, as soon as I became aware I was going to be late.

[newdaylight]

"I don't need to ring the school to check as the school are in loco parentis until I collect him as I do 5 days a week."

It would have been common courtesy to pull over and ring though wouldn't it. And school aren't in loco parentis "until I collect him", they are until end of school hours.

[KERALA1]

You were late kind people stepped in to help you and you are angry with them? I'd have been really grateful. No good deed unpunished

[Mummyoflittledragon]

At this age, the only way another parent was allowed to pick dd up was if I wrote a note to the teacher. In an emergency, I imagine calling in would be accepted. I would email the school raising your issue. The childminder isn’t any old stranger. Scatty or not, she is officially registered to look after other people’s children. Therefore I don’t think you should be worried this would happen with an actual stranger.

Your post about needing a shag or drink was pretty rude.

[T1M2N3T4]

I worked in a school run before and after school club. If it wasn't the parents collecting or someone id been told about in advance id call to check as it would be my fault if something went wrong.
The amount of randoms picking up children was getting stupid so I asked if we could send a text or letter to remind parents to let us know about other arrangements.
I got told off by the head for pissing off "paying customers" and that I should just ask children who is this and let the kid go if they know who was coming for them. . I knew my mother as a child but wasn't allowed unsupervised contact. Apparently I would have been made aware of any restricted or banned access but seen as though the admin woman couldn't even get telephone numbers or names right I was worried. So I kept at it.
Eventually I left that post for one during the day and my replacement was sacked after letting a father take the child on their non contact weekend without checking.

[BikeRunSki]

There has been a break down in procedure here. The school needs to be told in a “lessons learned” context.

[goingthroughthemotionz]

That is wrong, Mummy

It makes no difference.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

goingthrough
From a safeguarding POV ofcourse it makes no difference. I was talking as a parent to a parent.