School Gate Mums

[MrsSnootyPants2018]

Omg!! What an experience!!

Yesterday was DD second taster session at primary school but my first time dropping off.

What is with the over dramatic performances?

So much happened in a short hour it's unreal!

1- other kids climbing up the school gate (fine up to them) I don't like DD doing that so asked her to get down.

2- teacher says "say bye to everyone and come in" DD says bye and walks off, I say bye and walk off to my car. On the phone by my car and when the other parents come over one asks "didn't you want to stay?" Well no, I said she's fine and I've got things to do.

3- get in my car and try to get out the car park when two mums chatting are blocking my turning signal. Saw me and I said what I was trying to do would you mind moving. "Well I think if you drive your car like this and do that you'll be okay". Eerrmmm okay then. I said that I'd be fine and be out quicker if I could just swing in that gap.

4- turn up again to pick DD. Same mums there say nothing. The min DD come out and is with me she says " oh I think we need to chat. I know you're not used to dropping off and picking up so"

I stopped her there. I said I'm not offended I'm just in rush. I'm just here to drop my dd off and pick her up again and walked off!

Is this sort of questioning and crap an everyday school gate thing? If so, how do you all cope?!

I don't get why anything that I was doing her business especially my driving. I think she aaa just annoyed she had to move her conversation. Also, why should I stick around and watch my child and cry? My dd is confident and didn't need me.

[BlessedBeTheFruitCake]

My ds only has 2 more years at primary. Looking forward to No more school runs! Dd(5yrs) goes to a sen school by taxi so I'll miss out on the fun

[MinorRSole]

Oh dear. I've been a school gate mum for over a decade and over that time I've met many lovely mums and a few not so nice ones. Those brief chats at the gates lead to messenger chat groups and then play dates. Your dc can make friends on their own but they can make better friends with your help.

Do I like all the mums I chat to? Of course not! Do I make sure I'm friendly and polite? Damn right I do. Sometimes I'm even proven wrong and the mum I thought wasn't my type of person can become a good friend.

It's a role we play, we do it because otherwise you're the moody mum everyone talks about and not to.

[Donotbequotingmeinbold]

You sound like you went there with an attitude, determined to be appalled by the other parents. I think your attitude was probably obvious. You can't have met every parent yet so you can still turn this around. Just keep reminding yourself you are not better than the other parents at the school.

[MrsPreston11]

Anyone think OP is going to be on here in a few months moaning that her child is upset that she's the only one not invited to xy and z.

Poor kid will be a socially disadvantaged because of your stuck up attitude.

I'd say you've chosen the right user name............

[Starlight345]

I would also add you have no idea which parent is going to be the mum of your dc’s best friend.

[tomhazard]

I only collect dd twice a week but the school Gate is a perfectly ordinary place. There are a few groups of mums who are clearly friends - fine with me. Everyone else just mills around, says hi, might make a bit of small talk. There is no bitchiness or culture round the school gates there

[4GreenApples]

The bit where the other mums were blocking the car park sounds annoying - why not have a chat where you’re not blocking traffic like a normal person?

But the rest of the stuff does sound like you may have been overreacting. Your point (2), for example, it’s more likely that other mums were trying to make small talk than that they were judging you for leaving straight away.

I know among the parents in my DC’s classes, most of the parents are perfectly ordinary people, just like groups of people in any other circumstances, and not more prone to being drama queens just because they’ve got school age children.

And btw, at least at our school, it’s almost unheard of to hear another parent being criticised for not sticking around after drop off or pick up. Loads of parents have to go straight off to work, after-school swimming lessons or whatever. It’s really not unusual for parents to not stop in the playground for a chat.

[MarklahMarklah]

Maybe this is losing something in translation but you are coming across as a bit 'sharp' MrsSnooty
I find small-talk pretty pointless, but I have made some good friends at the school gate. I don't join in gossip, but I'll happily chat about what's going on at the school/locally/at home/local places of interest, and so on.
In our first weeks at school, I just dropped DD off and left. She wasn't upset about going to school, and I didn't see any need to linger.

It's not clear from your post why the mum approached you. It might have been for a number of reasons, and I think you should have heard her out. To basically say, "I'm busy" and go would imply that you're far too busy to talk to her at all, whatever you intended it to mean.

Regarding the car park - as long as there are no restrictions, then don't worry about it. Schools are usually quite good at communicating where you can/can't park. When people are standing in the way, it's not at all unreasonable to politely ask them to move so you can get your car out.

Regarding the kids climbing on the gate - if you don't want your DD to do it, fine. As long as you didn't say anything rude about those children that were, I can't see a problem.

[SoftBallSophie]

Sounds like you arrived for the first drop off looking for a reason to be annoyed. Being friendly costs nothing, making friends with the other mums will help your DD settle into school so much easier.

[DharmaInitiativeLady]

OP I wouldn't like that either. She sounds nuts.