Deputy head poked my DD in her back!

[Yogeybear89]

Hi everyone I’m new to this site, But could do with some advice please;
So my DD pulled another child’s hair in the play ground at lunch today.
Which I do not condone in the slightest, cut a long story short.
When she went back to class, she was told to go to reception class ( DD in year 3) for isolation.
As it happened at lunchtime she should of been giving a blue slip and tomorrow she stays in at lunchtime with head teacher and write our golden rules.
So the deputy head went to get DD from the reception class to take her back to her class, my DD was facing the wall reading her book when deputy head came in, My DD told me that the deputy head came up behind her poked her in the shoulder and said “come with me”.
I asked DD to show me exactly what deputy did and it wasn’t pleasant!
So went in to school and confronted deputy head in front of head teacher.
Of course she denied it and played it down, so I asked my DD is that how deputy head did it?
As she had both of them staring at her as well as me she just put her head down. I apologised to the deputy if she had not done what DD claim, she accepted and that was that.
Walking literally out of the school doors my DD started to cry and said to me “mummy she did do it the way I showed you I’m not lying I promise”,I said to her so why did you just put your head down when I asked in front of them? DD “cause they where staring at me and felt scared”, I reassured DD nothing to be scared of and when she did it why did she not say “ don’t do that! That hurt me” DD said “ cause you are not allowed to answer adults back”, I told her you say that to anyone if they hurt you teacher, adult, kids whoever!
I’ve had running’s with deputy in past and caught her bare face lying to me, which I confronted her about and she and I have never spoken until today.
DD ain’t no angel obviously by pulling another child’s hair!...But I know she is telling the truth and do not believe the deputy in the slightest, now people may think well I have had runnings with deputy before so I may have it in for her? No I don’t I have much better things to think about than her!
So head believes deputy as DD bowed her head.
What should I do cause I know a million percent she is telling the truth and it is killing me inside that deputy has got away with it and I seriously feel I have let my DD down?!
Please help?!

[QueenoftheSilverDollar12]

Bonkers parent and pain in the arse child. Think that just about sums it up really 😃

[Miranda15110]

Daughter totally deflecting and sounds like she's lying. You should be giving her hell for pulling another kids hair. If I had gone home from school and told my parents this story I'd have been grounded for getting into trouble. Wise up!

[Theknacktoflying]

Late to this ...

• Don’t think you are going to get a proper response if you go in guns blazing. An appointment gives you time to cool down and for the teachers/involved staff to get the facts
  
• Look at the school policies - should be on the website and going in armed with the agreed procedure is a lot more productive and objective way to deal with issues raised
  
• if you are not getting any head way with staff - letter of concern to governors detailing your meetings and what you have done
  

-

[gamerchick]

JBFLBR

You got a handful of robust replies on your private school thread and now suddenly everyone is a pack of bastards?

[JBFLBR]

OP I am not surprised when you say this will be the first and last time you post on here. The majority of posters on here are nothing short of vile. Please don’t take any of it personally, they must have pretty awful lives if they feel the need to put another person down the way that they do on here without knowing all the facts. Just hope their children don’t grow up to be like them!

[Clavinova]

Does workplace bullying exist in teaching? We are led to believe that it's quite commonplace now - stressed out members of senior leadership team bullying and intimidating members of staff and one of the 'unspoken' reasons why some teachers are leaving the profession. If these bullying individuals do exist in teaching then they are perfectly capable of being unpleasant to small children and errant parents. Or perhaps bullies don't exist in teaching - it's just an excuse from inadequate teachers looking for someone to blame for their failings.

[gamerchick]

OP the best thing you can do is tell your kid not to pull people's hair and to suck it up

If you install in your kid that you'll jump to her defence no matter what crap she tells you, you'll produce a brat and an unlikeable child.

If you're that bothered about the school there are other ones to send your child to.

[RedSkyAtNight]

DD had her back to deputy so could not possibly have seen whether she used one finger, two fingers, rested hand on shoulder etc ...

And what about all the other people in the Reception class? none of them noticed the deputy violently poking your child?

[eggncress]

As pp said, phone and make an appointment... that way they set time aside for you to discuss it properly and you will be taken more seriously

[eggncress]

Good luck for tomorrow OP ... hope you get it resolved.

[PremierNaps]

Why would you keep escalating this situation! Children exaggerate no matter how much you believe your little angels don't. If she couldn't own up to it in front of head and deputy because "she doesn't talk back to adults" then I'd say the deputy tapped her and your child escalated it so she wouldn't get into so much trouble for hair pulling. Please don't be that parent. If you do want to go see the head make an appointment don't just show up. It's annoying especially when you have a schedule to manage.

[Jonbb]

I was at a cricket match in which my 10 yo was playing and i witnessed the teacher push my son in the back so hard he travelled forwards several feet or so. That was an assault. So to the posters who think teachers don't overstep the mark, they do.

[Thewhale2903]

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar
Seems like you are the one shit stirring here. Don't call someone the mother from he'll because they are concerned about their child

[Thewhale2903]

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar
Now when you don't agree it's shit stirring?

[Yogeybear89]

Post was genuine...yes I believe my DD. My dd demonstrated what deputy done on me...which was a poke...I am going to speak with head in morning and tell her I do believe my daughter.
Thanks for posting...

[Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar]

Stop shit stirring Whale

[Thewhale2903]

In this instance they are not looking after the child.
Next time one of you kids gets in a wee fight at school maybe you will be ok with the teacher giving them a wee slap!

[SprayingMonsters]

Oh wow!

[LimpidPools]

Poked, not bashed. You're good value OP.

If your last post was genuine, well done though.

[Thewhale2903]

Yogeybear89
This teacher sound like a horror, that is not sarcasm.
I wouldn't be happy at all if a teacher touches your child aggressively of course you will be angry and want to know why.

[Branleuse]

that is really not the way to foster a good relationship with the school. They're not your employees . They're looking after your child. I think you would get a lot further if you were respectful. It all seems unnecessarily dramatic.

[Thewhale2903]

FACT this teacher hurt your child, your child felt backed into a corner a scared to stand in front of 3 adults.
I have had 2 stand in front of teacher like that when my mother went to the school about a child who was severely bullying me and let me tell you it's bloody terrifying and I froze when they asked me what she had been doing and couldn't give them an example I could hardly talk.
Just because someone is a fed her doesn't make them right all the time.
If you are absolutely sure your Dd is telling the truth you should March straight back up to the school and tell them.

[gettingtherequickly]

Home school OP, for everyone's sake.

[BellyBean]

Did she poke - single finger, just one jab - or tap - couple of fingers couple of taps?

Did it leave a Mark, did dd say how much it hurt?