What extra support would parents like in regards to your childs education?

[littlemissnorthernbird]

Hi,
Purely for my own research... Would love to know what support parents would like to have in regards to your child's education. The curriculum in schools is very different nowadays compared to our own education and often means many parents are left confused with expectations.

Do you have any particular areas you would most like support with? What do you find most difficult in regards to supporting your child?

Thank you

[catkind]

Sorry, feel like we've sidetracked there, this wasn't supposed to be about able kids. Though perhaps telling that they have come up from several of us.

[catkind]

Teaching by ability not age helps
Yes it really would.

Able kids getting more than their share of attention is not a thing at our school. Much less than fair shares. Which is fair enough, kids who are behind do need the resources, but just a little regular slice would make such a difference. For example being given an appropriate book and heard reading once a week. Things the rest of the class get as a matter of course at least weekly, and lower ability groups get every day.

School's contribution to Dd's reading progress so far was to sic rainbow fairies on us in reception then leave her to it. Net negative contribution by my reckoning.

[RainbowFairiesHaveNoPlot]

I wonder how many parents know of the actual hours teacher work

I used to be one. I'm more than aware. Nice try on the moaning parents have no clue front though.

[reluctantbrit]

I feel sorry for teachers. How on earth do you think they can find the time to prepare 30+ individual supplement information so parents can help?

Don't understand me wrong I have been on the side where no information meant DD's standards slipped and we didn't know. But I personally think there are better ways.

For us it meant getting homework where DD had to do work like in class, maths and SPAG/comprehension workbooks, instead of silly projects like "design a poster of your favourite xyz". We realised DD had significant issues in working independently on the level the school gave her. So for us it meant then talking to the teacher and seeing what goes on.

We had tutoring after that because DD's problem couldn't just be solved with more practice or in class with 30+ other children. 6 months help with a tutor worked, it clicked and she moved up from "working towards" at the end of the year to "working exceeding" this year.

If the school gives out more information during the year of what is actually being done in school like proper homework or books on a more frequent basis or even more parent evenings, then parents can interact better, help out faster and children do not fall behind.

I wonder how many parents know of the actual hours teacher work. There are some days I collect DD from her childminder and for this I walk past her school at 5.45pm. I still see teacher leaving the grounds. DD told me that her teacher uses Sunday afternoons for marking books. He runs additional maths classes in Y6 once a week.

The problem is not necessarily the schools themselves, the problem is the system on which they operate. Too much red tape, too much paperwork, classes too big, too much pressure from the government.

[Tomorrowillbeachicken]

Teaching by ability not age helps

[vickibee]

understanding special needs better, teachers have limited training and could do with understanding common SEN traits.
Also to adopt a more holistic approach to a child'e education instead of being an results factory - caring for the whole child

[TheFlannelsAreBreeding]

I agree with @briolliotic - there’s a real danger that academic kids hit secondary school (or even uni) having not actually learned how to learn because it’s all come so easily. I don’t see how school can help much, though, if they’re complete outliers with no peers anywhere near. Not without giving them more than their fair share of attention in a class of 30.

I do think school needs to help with the social aspects of the problem, as it tends to be quite isolating (or they learn to stay quiet or pretend to get things wrong, which is also a problem). ELSA groups etc, plus a culture of kindness and valuing everyone’s different skills.

Engagement and challenge are what chess / ballet / swimming / team sport / anything else you can think of that they’ll not get right first time is for.

[Tomorrowillbeachicken]

Tbh I’m pretty sick of these kids being thrown under the bus to be honest too.

[Tomorrowillbeachicken]

Tbh I really do think this education is not well suited for outliers, especially for those with Sen. These children’s potential is being lost as lots learn to just coast too.

[brilliotic]

sirfred I too am not too keen on 'challenge'.
I mean, children should have the opportunity to experience tackling something hard, initially failing, persevering, and getting there in the end - that is such a great experience, much more rewarding than simply 'getting' something right away, and as such a very important lesson. And such opportunities should not come too late either, when the child has already formed a self-image of finding everything easy. But not all of life, or even all of school, should be 'challenging' like that. I for one did not want my KS1 child to be constantly challenged. Not once in KS1 did I mention anything about 'being challenged' to any of his teachers.

I wasn't even overly bothered about 'engaging' either. DS goes to school to see his friends; if something in a lesson is engaging, then that's a bonus.
But I have been becoming more concerned lately (now Y3) as DS began to exhibit worrying traits of perfectionism, and of refusing to even try if he didn't think he'd be very good at something.

Eventually I started taking him to a chess club where I knew there'd be many kids better at the game than him (he is a beginner after all). I was surprised when in the first session he attended, he lost twice, but then was beaming and asking to go back again when he came out. Since that day, he has practised almost daily, is constantly asking for more, totally engaged. Like he hasn't been engaged in anything really, since starting school.

So yes, I would take engaging. An occasional small dose of challenge might help with the engagement though. And would support development of a healthier attitude to work too.

I also think many people sort of use 'challenging' as a shorthand for 'engaging' sometimes.

[Tomorrowillbeachicken]

I’d love engaged but my son is not learning anything new most of the time in reading or maths so is bored and disruptive. In particular in reading he is doing guided reading two or three levels below his solo reading level and because he can no longer be taught out of year is being made to read books he read earlier this year.

[catkind]

I'd buy "engaged" sirfred. It's difficult to maintain "engaged" without learning and challenge.

[sirfredfredgeorge]

It's always interesting to me that so many parents of able children want their kids to be challenged by primary school, when to me I only want them to be engaged so that they might choose to challenge themselves, or not. I can see why you need your non-able child pushed if you want particular academic outcomes (7+ / 11+ etc.), but when the child can achieve those outcomes easily I simply want the child to find things they enjoy and push themselves. I actually don't want continual external push from teachers (or parents) to work hard, the earlier a kid can start judging when to work absolutely their best, and when to coast a bit, the better!

That is of course for a kid who is achieving the curriculum though, any problems, early intervention, good resources and a focus on what the parents can do to help is great.

And yet school expects parents to support them in getting top results. Meaning, 'get private tutoring'.

I assume this is a particular sort of school, the ones that everyone moves next to, or gets religion to get their kids into? DD's school isn't like this, but then it's results aren't "top".

[brilliotic]

I just wish the 'school and parents are partners in educating the children' thing were more than lip-service.

Those parents wanting to support the children's learning - be it by helping out at school, or by wanting to understand how things are taught so they can support their own child at home - are regularly fobbed off.

And yet school expects parents to support them in getting top results. Meaning, 'get private tutoring'.

In our house, chess has the place that music has in catkind's. I wish school did anything my child could get so enthusiastic about.

[littlemissnorthernbird]

'All children are different'....very much so! So a very personalised response of supplementary ideas at home is required rather than one size fits all.

[GreenTulips]

I think you get mixed responses because all children are different

DD didn't need any extra help as she just gets it
DS struggled and could've dont with more support at home - but the issues weren't raised

They are twins - I would've wanted a different approach to each child

[catkind]

Supplementary things we do at home: taught DC to read, mostly Songbirds, some Oxford owls, TYMtR, and just playing around. Had maths toys like dice games, top trumps, cuisenaire, dienes blocks. Various maths/logic-ish apps particularly dragonbox ones. Took them to library and provided books. Encouraged DC to write stuff e.g. birthday cards, then later holiday diaries.
Apart from the writing where DS has been behind, all just following kids' lead. So currently not much academic going on at home at all. They've got interested in music instead. Possibly because that is an area where they get 20 minutes of actual teaching, homework that's interesting and challenging and a sense of progression. Worked for me, primary school was dull dull dull but I learned how to learn via music.

[Tomorrowillbeachicken]

In reception we also used teach your monster to read nester to read, oxford owl and used busy things website (and still do)

[RainbowFairiesHaveNoPlot]

Ours isn't bad really - particularly in reception where we get a weekly update on what they've been doing in class that week (godsend when you've got a child with speech issues if you know roughly what's happened as a starting point to figure out what they're telling you).

I think they possibly need more in terms of explanation about maths methods across the school - even as an ex-primary teacher myself it's all bloody changed (again) since I last taught it and that was only 6 years ago. The only reason I know what's going on with it all is because I'm usually in the classroom for a couple of Maths lessons a week and I've spent the time to start looking into the curriculum changes myself (I'm wanting to return to the classroom eventually... that stampede of people running away from teaching and I'm trying to get back in the other direction) - but the parents on the playground generally look totally stumped by it all. We've had a lot of good phonics and reading based parent sessions but nothing in terms of what's going on in Maths within the school.

[littlemissnorthernbird]

Thank you GreenTulips, reluctantbrit, catkind, PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks, TheFlannelsAreBreeding, Ummmmgogo for your comments too. Really useful.

Would appreciate any more discussion on this topic if anyone else would like to participate?

[littlemissnorthernbird]

Tomorrowwillbeachicken Thank you. It's the supplementary things that you do at home to support your child that I am interested in so this really helps.

[Tomorrowillbeachicken]

We supplement a little but our six year old teaches himself to a larger degree. At home he has learnt to use a pc and due to his writing issues he has found this a more accessible means for written communication.
He usually teaches himself a new maths concept as he needs it, usually in minecraft, and last ones taught were 3 and 4 times table (had already figured out 2, 5, 10) and two digit plus two digit addition.

In terms of reading we supplement by taking him to the library to get harder books. He is also bought books on his passions, I.e science.

[Ummmmgogo]

I want less support too! we have meetings once a term to explain the curriculum, reading books and 2 stay and plays in the classroom a month. for a 3 year old this seems hugely over the top!

I do love that the teachers are so dedicated so I wouldn't normally complain but you did ask xx

[TheFlannelsAreBreeding]

Our school does lots of good things:

• homework reinforces classwork (so as well as practice for the kids, it tells me what they’re learning this week)
  
• termly ‘book looks’ so I can see their schoolwork
  
• termly ‘ask the HT’ sessions (which I rarely go to, but useful occasionally) for each KS
  
• termly class Assemblies where you see the highlights of what they’ve been doing (nice photos up on the interactive whiteboard, as well as whatever the kids have put together)
  

And the stuff the DON’T do is also important:

• no SATs pressure in KS1 (they don’t know they’re doing them)
  
• no nagging parents about reading / homework / spellings if they’re not done (though in KS2 it means doing them in playtime instead, which I’m fine with)
  
• very few (thought still some, annoyingly) last minute asks for kit / dressing up / events / parent helpers

[littlemissnorthernbird]

Thank you sirfredfredgeorge That is really useful...the core skills comment in particular