Excuses for not volunteering at the Christmas Fair....

[temporaryname99]

I am honest at all times, and sometimes it would be better if I wasn't.
When I got an email to ask me directly - not just a general group email- if I will help at the Christmas Fair, these are all the honest answers I considered giving:
The Christmas Fair is like the 7th circle of hell; it's hot, crowded and noisy, everyone is lugging round bags and coats, it's like torture.
I was on the Tombola last year and I was traumatised by the absoulutely embarrassingly sad looking prizes, one woman who kept buying more and more tickets until she'd spent far more than any of the prizes were worth, and by being completely alone with no one to answer my questions or take over from me.
Previously I've tried to help with set up, but never been given proper instructions and just stood around feeling useless or I've been given some impossible craft task that I'm terrible at, like making paper snowflakes.
I know if I volunteered to help it would hang over me and I would feel anxious about it from now until it was over.
I'm perfectly capable in other spheres; have no problem training a group of people, giving speeches, travelling in strange places, but the school fair is my nightmare.

I know other people would just make an excuse, and say oh I can't make it , but I can't lie, so I said I was traumatised by last year and I would support by donating items and spending money at the fair.
But I feel guilty. And know I come over as pathetic. I really saw myself as the kind of mum who would be very involved in these things, but when it came down to it, I realised it's really not where my strengths lie.

Long post! Sorry! I just had to offload all that on to mumsnet!!
Anyone else find school fairs excruciating? What are your Excuses?

[temporaryname99]

Minipie: good luck!

Brilliotic: thanks for your post!

[RiseToday]

A little over the top to actually admit to them that you were traumatised last year!

I would have given a bullshit excuse rather than the truth

[Increasinglymiddleaged]

Can you volunteer DH? That's what I'd do

In terms of the 'not helping' trilling if you want to help find something you are comfortable with. There are loads of jobs including buying stuff/ school uniform stock. Offering to help clear up is always a good one because no one wants to waste and time and by definition its well defined.

But don't do stuff you hate that's madness. But don't just reply 'no' either I don't get the whole MN 'no is a complete sentence' guff. Deflection is the art of assertiveness ime. You'd be better off just not replying at all and pretending you have an overactive spam filter.

[Increasinglymiddleaged]

I've never been made to feel like an outsider in my knackered little Nissan - people honestly don't care about it!

Car obsession makes me laugh. The idea that you can tell who is well off by their luxury cars, or maybe they just like nice cars (perfectly reasonable) and prioritise then higher..?

[Oriunda]

Offer to take down the bunting (or put it up). I’m on our PTA and the bunting nearly finished me off. I’d have loved someone offering to take that off my hands.

[NotCitrus]

Our fair had a lack of volunteers (my favourite excuse was "I have children"!) but then the people willing to organise had a good think about what made money vs what was mostly 'fun' and what was hard work. Basically if most parents are skint there's a limit to how much money you can get out of them so once near it, stop trying!

Next fair was smaller, much less work, made nearly as much money.

If you can't face a stall, counting takings, producing forms for people to track takings and what sold/didn't, putting up posters etc would be really helpful.

[megletthesecond]

I don't volunteer because I'm a LP and my dd can't be trusted to behave. She'd get ratty and make it impossible for me to work.

I make up for it by spending silly money at PTA events.

[RaindropsAndSparkles]

TBH I used to believe there was huge merit in not having one and everyone donating a fiver or more.

In reality "Oh I'd love o, awfully sorry full time job, or working that day. Children will have spending money and here's £50.

[BewareOfDragons]

I would probably say something along the lines of, "No. Why on earth would I want to volunteer to help out a clique of mums who are rude to parents like me and pretty much blatantly ignore me unless they want something."

[eenymeenymaccaracca]

God, I hate the Christmas fair so much.

I honestly wish they wouldn't do it at all.

All the emails and pressure to help out with a massive task which you NEVER WANTED TO HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE.

[Increasinglymiddleaged]

Why on earth would I want to volunteer to help out a clique of mums who are rude to parents like me and pretty much blatantly ignore me unless they want something

Well because the PTA is run for the children in the school primarily? The way I see it is 'why would I let a couple of rude people put me off making a contribution'?

[Fekko]

I think you had the wording right in the First post The Christmas Fair is like the 7th circle of hell; it's hot, crowded and noisy, everyone is lugging round bags and coats, it's like torture.

I always got roped in and ended up being the idiot doing all the work!

[megletthesecond]

Summer Fair is so much nicer. The kids get to tear around with their mates and I don't have to stop them bumping into stalls or people all the time.

[Fekko]

And the Pimms... milled wine is always dire.

[eenymeenymaccaracca]

I'd rather donate money to the school than try to lug my kids round an overcrowded, overheated, blisteringly noisy hall filled with plastic tat and Haribo at £££. And that's before you even factor in the helping out.

There are a million better outings with kids at Christmas.

[MycatsaPirate]

I'm on the PTA organising our Xmas Fayre and we are struggling for volunteers.

The sad thing is that our PTA is not cliquey, we don't meet up unless it's for a meeting, we welcome everyone and we work our backsides off for every event.

We had a barn dance in the summer and we were all run ragged trying to cover two jobs at once. No one got a break.

Our school does years 5 to 8 and it covers secondary curriculum. The school budget doesn't cover extras for things like the science department so we have raised enough money to pay for extra equipment. We have paid for a defibrillator, outside play equipment and put on a Leavers party every year. None of these things would be there without the PTA raising the money.

[Braceface]

I helped at a fete once but was given a really shit stall. The same parents do the same stalls. The easy ones that sell out early and anyone extra helping doessnt get a look in. The PTA is really cliquey and the woman who runs it always seemed to be on the verge of a breakdown. I'm not going to help a bunch of woman who won't even talk to me.

[supersop60]

I used to offer to clean up at the end. Easy - stack a few chairs and tables, run around with a bin bag and/or a broom, and make sure people notice you doing it

[Braceface]

I was asked to help this year but said I couldn't as it was after school on a Friday and so no husband and only me with kids response was well we all have our kids. Yes but their kids are all 10 or 11 so can go round fete on their own. I'm not going to let my 6 year go round on his own.

[Helspopje]

'No' is a complete sentence.

[Increasinglymiddleaged]

No is a word and only a complete sentence if you want to look ridiculous.

[Increasinglymiddleaged]

And all this 'cliques' stuff is an excuse. You don't want to put yourself out to help, be honest about that rather than blaming the committee. It's perfectly reasonable to not help at the Christmas Fayre or whatever.

[illuminousopptomist]

I sometimes think it would be easier to just donate money at Christmas. I hate school Fayes. I would happily give 50 squid to opt out completely. Ours is poorly run, overcrowded and not much fun. My DS asked to leave afyer 10 mins.

I offered to help and was assigned to a stall, I then went to the loo and a would be alpha mum stole my stall and would not let me back on!! Nuts the lot of them.

[Increasinglymiddleaged]

Hahaha illuminous bit of a result there 😀

The Christmas fayre imo is hell on earth. Sadly I work full time .....