Jewish School - Yes or No

[FloraIris]

Hello,

Wondering if any Jewish parents could provide me with some advice.

There is a Jewish school not far from us and I was thinking of sending my boys there. We are not Jewish but the school is good.

The question is, are my children likely to feel excluded because they’re not Jewish? Will other children attend their birthday parties even though we don’t have a kosher home?

I’m just wondering if it is a good idea or not and any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks

[FanDabbyFloozy]

Of course that doesn't mean they can't have more than 50% Jewish students. If no non-Jews bother to apply for the community places they could still be up to 100% Jewish.
I agree with this. I know a child who got a place at a secondary that has to take a certain number of community kids under the "nearest" category and she is Jewish. I asked her if any of her friends are not Jewish and she said no. Under "non Jewish" they will children whose parents don't practise or one parent isn't Jewish (esp mum). I imagine it's rare to have NO Jewish connections at all.

[FanDabbyFloozy]

The parents pay for the security, plus Hebrew classes. It can be a lot - think hundreds per month. I am surprised they have been allowed to but I guess no-one complains as that is what they want for their children.

[valuerangeweetabixandmilk]

I wondered if it would be appropriate to ask here if anyone who is Jewish does feel afraid because they are Jewish?

[LondonMum8]

Jewish culture/religion is effectively geared towards preserving the integrity and insularity of the nation outside of the (no longer) lost homeland of Israel, by preventing "assimilation" by the host culture. Integration is therefore considered inherently undesirable, and there tends to be a particularly unwelcoming attitude towards Christianity which sprung from Judaism (as other comments have highlighted). Read broadly and abundantly about this if you are seriously considering to send your DCs in as one of the few if any non-Jews. There is obviously a wide spectrum of affinity with that conservative approach amongst Jews in general, but the faith school's ethos will likely lean on the conservative side - that's the whole point and what the parents sending their DCs there expect. Given the taxpayer funding, they are required to be partially inclusive as any other type of British faith school, and probably like to keep a few specimen pupils around to demonstrate this.

[Catalufa]

I’m Christian and I attended a non-faith school which happened to have a high proportion of Jewish pupils (due to its location) - well over half, although not nearly as high as 95%. For me it wasn’t an issue at all. I was part of a large group of friends, some were Jewish and some non-Jewish, and it was interesting to be exposed to a different culture.

[Skatingmama]

I nearly sent ds to Jewish nursery but did t because we moved away. Extended family my side Jewish but my dm not so my dc aren't. Around half kids were other faiths but since I've thought I would have been scared security wise eg the awful incident in Toulouse.

[FloraIris]

@greennailvarnish did you feel like an ‘outsider’? Was your experience positive or negative?

[FloraIris]

@greennailvarnish Were the non-Jewish children at your school treated differently by teachers?

[greennailvarnish]

floral Everyone was very nice to me but I was definitely an outsider. I wasn't invited to meals and events much but I do have a few Jewish friends from the school who I still see.
Jewish parents are very pushy and a few of them really knocked my confidence. However most of the children were lovely.
There were no non-Jewish children at the school and because there had been an increase in the number of Jewish schools being built, the school knew that there would be competition for pupils. The school knew that non Jews would be able to apply.
Of course, I can't really say how a non Jew would be treated there, but I am pretty sure they would be unconsciously labelled as different. A non Jewish child would have to learn about the faith but not really adhere to it. The Jewish people have a strong conviction that they are God's chosen people. So though the teachers I am sure would be professional and treat the non Jew well, if there were every any problems, I wonder if their non Jewishness would be one of the first things to be taken into consideration.

I personally would not send my child to a Jewish school even though by and large my teaching experience was positive there. For a young child, it's a different vantage point that they would be going in from.

[greennailvarnish]

Do visit you school in question and don't be afraid to ask questions. You need to go with your gut instinct too.

[FloraIris]

@greennailvarnish Thank you for your response. Is ‘God’s chosen people’ actually a thing!?! I’m not sure I’d want my sons to be ‘labelled’ as anything. It just annoys me that I’d have to send them elsewhere to an underperforming school because we are outsiders so to speak. I obviously do not want to make life difficult for them.

[samG76]

Floral - it isn't. I've never heard this expression in school. Greennail seems to be trying to put together a record number of offensive generalizations (eg all Jewish parents are pushy) into one thread....

[LondonMum8]

Didn't you mention they would be given goy caps to ensure proper labelling?

[DobbyIsAFreeElf]

I have experience working in a Jewish school and I did not enjoy the experience.
I am not Jewish and the first question the children asked me was 'are you Jewish.'
They had 1 hour Jewish studies each day which was paid for by parents, I believe this was quite expensive.
Assemblies everyday with boys and girls being split into different sides of the hall.
There were around 5 prayers a day all in Hebrew, morning, before snack, before lunch and after lunch.
If children were on packed lunches they had to be vegetarian meals to guarantee kosher, all school dinners were Kosher.
At Christmas there was no speak of Christmas but lots f Chanukah celebrations. I believe there were some non Jewish children who celebrated Christmas but there was a group of Jewish children who shouted across the classrooms Santa is not real. This was in ks1.
There were different school holidays and extra days off here and there.
There was definitely a big community feel, I'm not sure how non Jewish families fitted in.

[EssentialHummus]

Another pushy, insular Jew here. It really depends on what kind of Jewish school it is. I'm Reform and effectively non-practising. I wouldn't send my DC to any school within Conservative Judaism. A school within Liberal Judaism, certainly. This isn't just "People's Front of Judea" type nuance, it's a fairly critical distinction that will impact things like no. of prayers per day, treatment of different sexes, acknowledgement of other religions' holidays etc.

[FunderAnna]

I think I'd agree with EssentialHummus. Perhaps the distinction would be similar to that between 1) a Cof E school that observed festivals, had regular assemblies and where a high proportion of parents were churchgoers. And 2)an ultra-Evangelical school which discouraged teaching about Evolution and regarded the Bible as the Word of God.

[Skatingmama]

The nursery I would have sent ds to was Reform too.

As someone from mix faith background some of the generalisations on here make me sad.

[samebasicsize]

Would you send your children to the local mosque or Mormon school?

[samebasicsize]

I'm a Mormon and wouldn't suggest anyone going to a faith school that they don't belong to.

Why would you? Ridiculous.

[greennailvarnish]

I definitely do not wish to offend anyone and so I am sorry if I have done. I am talking about my experience in an orthodox school. Professionally, overall, the job was good but I am talking here about whether or not it would be a good idea to send a non Jewish child to such a school.

My school was orthodox but a lot of the families were not very practising. In a reformed or liberal school, it would be different and there would be more more families from mixed backgrounds.
There were definitely a lot of pushy parents - more than when I taught in a private school. That doesn't effect how your child will flourish though.
The Chinese New Year and a bit of Diwali was mentioned but definitely nothing to do with Christmas / Christianity. Once a Jewish child mentioned Jesus and they were seriously reprimanded.
Yes there have been talks about Jews are God's chosen people. Most Jewish colleagues felt uncomfortable with these talks but it did happen.

[vjg13]

Florairis, even as a non Jewish parent you will be expected to make the voluntary contribution associated with a faith school. IME even for primary this will be about £1800 a year. Does that influence your decision?