Why is my 5 year old not "getting" reading or writing

[ThoseFemalesAreStrongAsHell]

Its really stressing me out .

Hes a bright boy with an amazing memory but hes still on reception level reading with all of his peers miles ahead. Hes left handed but his writing is messy and he just doesnt get it.

We read together every night but like i said hes got a good memory so the first time we read a book he wont know any words and ill help and the next he'll know the words 'read' them but its actually just him remembering from the day before. I just dont know where im going wrong.

[Whatthedonkey]

@ThoseFemalesAreStrongAsHell I know this is an old thread but I wonder how is your son now? He sounds like my 5 yo DD.

[Norestformrz]

Definitely don't leave small problems to become big ones by ignoring them (because they start school later in other countries).

[catkind]

Definitely agree with not getting stressed and anxious. But I do agree with getting help if it's needed. Not blending at the start of year 1 is unusual, in the class I volunteer with they'd be getting extra support from teacher/TA.

[Norestformrz]

It isn't a race but it's very easy for some children to get left behind. The theory that they will catch up relies on peers stalling or the child making accelerated progress which research shows is very rare even though we can all provide anecdotal accounts of those who beat the odds.

[ErrolTheDragon]

Starting later might not be good for many kids, of course - the ones who are ready. Obviously enough, one size doesn't fit all. What IME doesn't help is the parent (and hence the child) getting stressed and anxious about being 'behind' at this stage. KS1 is not a race, is it?

[Norestformrz]

Sorry Errol (and thanks Cat) unfortunately http://www.readingrockets.org/article/waiting-rarely-works-late-bloomers-usually-just-wilt

[Norestformrz]

http://howtoteachreading.org.uk/sight-words/

[catkind]

mrz, I think Errol was arguing for starting teaching later, not for sight words.

Errol, there's every chance OP's DS will do well. He has learned lots in reception as he knows all the correspondences to sound out the letters, just can't blend yet. Once he can blend he'll be off. What I don't think we can say is whether he'd have been able to blend any quicker if he'd only started learning correspondences in year 2, or whether he'd have got left behind a fast curriculum - whereas by starting exposure to reading early and gently, he has plenty of time to catch up before the serious learning starts.

[Norestformrz]

"But I wonder, are many of those 'bright with an amazing memory' like the OPs DS?" It has nothing to do with IQ and I'm afraid for many their capacity to remember words as wholes has limits which is often reached just as new subject vocabulary is introduced around Year 3/4 and the child doesn't have an effective strategy to tackle them.

[ErrolTheDragon]

Is that a common phenomenon

I said fairly common - And I don't doubt the truth of 'Actually, as we'll see, there is nearly a 90 percent chance that a poor reader in first grade will remain a poor reader.)"' . But I wonder, are many of those 'bright with an amazing memory' like the OPs DS?

[user789653241]

I am a foreigner, and I can't pronounce words correctly. But be able to decode is different. I always decode words in my head. And I wasn't able to do that before I learned phonics with my ds. I used to rely largely on memory. But something has definitely changed since I learned phonics.
Reading English text was a hard work before, but not so much anymore.

[Norestformrz]

If you teach one high frequency word by sight the child can read one word. If you teach them the knowledge and skills to decode one high frequency word they can apply that knowledge and skills on many many words not just one. Far more efficient and effective.
In a worse case scenario teaching words as whole can actually be hugely detrimental to a child's reading and spelling progress.

[blueberrypie0112]

I am not against it btw, I just don’t see the harm of teaching a small set of high frequency words to 5 years old along with phonics

[Norestformrz]

You don't need to pronounce it correctly. A hearing person wouldn't automatically pronounce a word they've never heard before conventionally (correctly) either.

[blueberrypie0112]

I am saying because I never heard the word, I try to decode it using phonics and I end up not pronouncing correctly

[Norestformrz]

"Sight words is popular with deaf kids because they don’t always hear it phonically"

http://www.ndcs.org.uk/familysupport/educationfordeafchildren/educationduringschoolyears/teachingphonics_to.html
http://www.ssc.education.ed.ac.uk/courses/deaf/dmay15eval.html

[Norestformrz]

Phonics isn't elocution being able to pronounce words "correctly" isn't a factor.

[blueberrypie0112]

The reason I pointed out speech therapy because she showed me so many phonics (and made sound out words on flash cards) when I wasn’t picking it up in class.

[blueberrypie0112]

As a deaf person myself who took speech therapy, there are a lot words out there I can’t pronounce (I didn’t know how to pronounce gala as in gala Apple, there is like several ways to pronounce it and I don’t know the correct way and it is confusing) but I still can read it and know what it means. I usually read in sight form but don’t try get me to sound out words, I am terrible at it

[Norestformrz]

http://www.readingrockets.org/article/waiting-rarely-works-late-bloomers-usually-just-wilt

"In the simplest terms, these studies ask: Do struggling readers catch up? The data from the studies are clear: Late bloomers are rare; skill deficits are almost always what prevent children from blooming as readers. This research may be counter-intuitive to elementary teachers who have seen late-bloomers in their own classes or heard about them from colleagues. But statistically speaking, such students are rare. (Actually, as we'll see, there is nearly a 90 percent chance that a poor reader in first grade will remain a poor reader.)"

[Norestformrz]

"Some words cannot be decoded and are high frequency which is why they are taught by heart along with phonics." Just to repeat that this is unfortunately one of those often repeated "facts" that is of course nonsense. All words can be decoded.

[catkind]

The fact remains though, catkind , that it seems to be a fairly common phenomenon that some kids just dont 'get' reading and writing till they're 6 or 7, regardless of their intelligence. They may not turn out to love books so much as precocious readers, especially if they're made to feel there stupid or that reading is a chore.

Is that a common phenomenon? I've been a reading volunteer in year 1 for a couple of years now. I don't see lots of kids sitting around not getting it, some are behind and some are ahead but I'm always impressed at the progress they make.

Children pick things up at different paces at any age. I quite like that they start in a fun, no pressure way from 4-5. There's plenty of time for them to take a year or two to get it, and for those who need extra support in some way to be identified and helped, and not feel left out of anything in the meantime because most of reception is playing and year 1 not much faster. If they started at 7 and took a couple of years to get it I think it would be more of a problem.

I think love of books comes from having a book-rich environment, parents and teachers reading stories to them. No-one should be making them feel stupid.

[Blossomdeary]

My DD was the same with both speaking ad reading. Not a word till about 2.5, then chatted away in sentences one day.

Ditto the reading - hopeless; then one day I found her reading The Wind in the Willows. Can you read that? - yes, of course! She went on to be the world's biggest bookworm.

[LaughingElliot]

Lots of terrific advice in here.

A couple of things. I agree that some children just “get it” later and that it doesn’t seem to correlate to intelligence. My first child was v average reader until 6 when she sort of got the bug for reading and from then on the only problem I had was getting her to put her book down to sleep.

The other thing is that sometimes there is s learning disability. But 5 is just so little. If he’s interested and listening, that is excellent. Keep books enjoyable - audio books, silly rhymes etc.
and what you say about him memorising the words - that is quite normal for children with good memories and it’s s useful skill so let him use it. In time though, as the text gets more complex, he won’t be able to recall every word and that’s when you’ll know what you’re dealing with.
I’d keep at it for a bit longer then ask around about assessment )depending depending on his progress).It may be that he has a visual processing disorder.

[user789653241]

blueberry, have you seen posts on MN that poster says their dc's cannot decode at yr3/4/5/6 and struggling?
Majority of children(80%) can get reading with mixed methods. But 20% fails.
With pure phonics, 96% children succeed, and only 4% fail.
Just because your dc falls into 80% who succeed with any methods, you cannot universally recommend something which fails 1/5 of children.