Twins: Has anyone made the decision to separate twins into different classrooms?

[NinaTneurons]

Hi, first and foremost I have twins aged 9 (boys).

Both attend a small Church school and have therefore shared the same classroom since reception.

Initially, I thought this was for the best but am beginning to question it.

In addition, I'm doing research for my psychology degree. I'm looking into the experience of parents who had/have decided to separate their twins.

I'd be really grateful - if you have had this experience please get in touch.

Thank in advance.

[coalfire]

Twins
Together from nursery to reception
Separated against my will, and against their will, in Y3 by new head applying a one size fits all policy.
One of my twins was fine, the other was sad all year.
Moved back together in Year 4 with new head.
Since then both children much happier. Teachers say they are great together, both independent and supportive. Several have told me they are glad the policy has changed.
TAMBAS research suggests that the best policy is made on an individual choice in consultation with parers.

[honeysucklejasmine]

I was in a different class to my twin brother, for all except years 4-6, when we attended a single form entry school. It was good. Allowed us to not be "the twins" and excel at different things.

In sixth form I was asked "oh, you have the same surname as [DBro]. Are you related?"

[Flossieflower01]

Mine (identical boys) were together in reception and year 1, then separate until year 5, one year together then separate for year 6. Now in the same year half but different forms at secondary. It have ended up in many of the same classes due to setting. In my experience the twins who's parents aren't desperate to keep them together are the same parents who dress them the same, call them 'the twins' and seem intent on keeping them as a little comedy double act rather than treating them as separate people. I would strongly encourage twins to be separated if possible at primary and certainly at secondary, for both of their benefits. I also dressed mine in different colour polo shirts at primary to make it as easy as possible for them to be called by their own name, not just 'x or y'.

[Flossieflower01]

Typo- Are desperate to keep them together, not aren't

[heritagewarrior]

My DSs are 7 in Yr 2. They've been together so far but we are now wondering whether this will be the right decision going forward. We are going through an intense period of sibling rivalry at the moment and the lack of separation is proving difficult for the whole family. School have no policy other than to do what is best for the family. We are going in to school next week to discuss.....

[TheCraicDealer]

We were together through nursery and P1, separated for the rest of primary school, then put in together in Form 1 at secondary school. As we went up through the school we would have occasional classes together based on what subject choices we'd made, but we would be apart for most of the day. I think that was a good way to do it, being apart in primary school allowed us to get on with being individuals. I'd worry about keeping DTwins together throughout their school careers, then one or both becoming reliant on being together and finding it difficult to make (for example) their own subject choices or deciding on going on school trips, because it'll be harder without the DT.

[coalfire]

1. The advice from TAMBA is that there is no one size fits all policy and that the best policy is to decide on a case by case basis taking into consideration the wishes of the parents and of the children and of the teachers. If you search on the TAMBA website you will find the relevant research.
   

You cannot generalise for all twins - twins aren't a subspecies: some might operate better together, some better apart. Mine get on very well together and are happier together and yet have no problem operating independently and doing their own thing.

1. I disagree (Flossy) that parents who want their kids to be together being the same as those who call them 'the twins' and dress them in the same clothes. I know three women who all lobbied their local authority to change their policy on twins in the borough so as their own children could be together because they thought it would be in their children's best interest. None of them were as you described They just felt thatit was inappropriate to separate their children at the age of four.
   

My own children look and dress differently, I never call them 'the twins' and if people refer to them as the twins I always ask then not to (or at least, when they were younger I did, now I know the children will shrug it off). However, the children are far happier together, and are also more productive together. There is no good reason to have them apart.

To parents, I would echo the advice of TAMBA: look to your own children, ask the advice of the teachers (and your children) and then make your decision based on this, being aware that the children's needs may change as they grow up and you may need to review the situation.

[bojorojo]

There are two ladies in my village. They are twins. They are aged about 80. They live together, dress identically, look identical, shop together, go to the Doctors together and appear utterly dependent upon each other and I truly wonder how this could have happened! I know siblings may choose to live together (I have relatives who did) but their attachment goes way beyond that. What makes twins be like this into old age? I am genuinely interested. Is it that they were never treated as individuals, by anyone? The death of one will be catastrophic.