Only girls school for my only child ? It is an artificial world?

[ShiftLD]

She doesn't have a brother and the cousins are miles away. If DD goes to an only girls school from Reception will probably have few oportunities to play with boys during hr whole childwood and teenage.

I see this as a problem but DH don't. I think it is artificial, the world is not like that and she must learn succed with boys around, DH thinks she will be fine, Im overthinking.

Should I choose a good co-ed OR accept Im really exagerating and go to the outstanding only girls option !?!?! I'm very confused...

[Zodlebud]

I went to a co-ed primary, single sex secondary and co-ed sixth form (my choice to move for sixth form) and we are doing the same with my girls now.

I loved my years in a single sex school and it was totally the right place for me but I did participate in lots of mixed sex activities outside school. I didn't find it at all artificial and actually learned a lot about what it means to be a strong, independent woman - we were given jobs of responsibility and power which in a co-ed school would have had to been shared with the boys. I chose to go co-ed again for A-Levels as I totally believe men and women think differently about things academically and I wanted a different outlook to compare and contrast. I had no issues at all mixing with boys.

I personally wouldn't send my girls to a single sex prep though. I want them to feel all doors are open to them - they play cricket and rugby (and the boys do ballet!) and are not made to feel different in any way. I did see one single sex prep which was very "girly" in it's extra curricular offerings and I found it a bit off putting to be honest.

If you love the single sex school though and you think your daughter will be happy there then go for it.

[BertieBotts]

Yep - as far as sexism goes it seems that girls have a better chance against it by going to all-girls schools. But conversely boys have a better chance of not adopting sexist views if they go to co-ed schools. Funny how that works!

Most single sex schools seem to have a partnership with a local opposite single sex school and they get together for events like dances and charity fundraisers.

[APlaceOnTheCouch]

I went to a mixed primary then an all-girls high school. From a STEM pov, single sex is obviously better but . . .I think it did impact on how I related to boys as a teenager even though I went to a mixed youth club, etc.

As an adult, I went on to work in a male dominated area and I don't think it's had a long-term impact on how I relate to men but when I think back to my teenage self, I'm not sure that I wouldn't have been better in a mixed high school.

[ChristmasPartyDress]

good way of putting it wrinkly, that although it may be ''artificial'' that does not mean that it is not better.

[talkinnpeace]

much of the country only has single sex religious schools so its not really an issue

[neuroticnicky]

Re the harassment mentioned by OP, while its obviously true that there is more harrassment at mixed schools than at all girls schools the worst actual abuse has undoubtedly occurred at independent all boys schools where the full extent of the past abuse is only now becoming apparent.

All in all it seems pretty clear to me if not to OP that attending single sex schools is less likely in the long term to lead to harmonious/good relations with members of the opposite sex and the most sexist males I know attended all boys schools and the most feminist females all girls schools which I'm sure is no coincidence.

Indeed while the head of SPGS appeared recently to be complaining about the attitudes produced by all boys schools -see //www.thesundaytimes.co.uk/sto/news/uk_news/Education/article1606292.ece - it could equally be argued that all girls schools produce a certain (dare I say it feminist) outlook that can make it hard to put up with male banter.While I went to an independent girls secondary myself, the most balanced/sane people I know seem to have all been at mixed comps.

[Crackerjack9]

I went to an all girls high school. It did cause me problems socially and I would only send my children to co-ed schools. However, I was a shy child.

[worcestersauce29]

Our daughter (only child, now 21) went to a coed pre prep, moved to all girls for year 2 through to year 9 when sadly there was a school merger (with her original coed pre prep) and was there until the end of year 11 when she moved to state coed sixth form.
Her favourite time at school was all girls but she has always had no problem with socialising with anyone. She says that if she were ever to have a daughter she would like to 'send them to a school like *'
On the other had I hated my all girls state grammar with a passion.

Ultimately it's what is right for your child, horses for courses and all that

[Seryph]

Frankly I think that single sex primaries are ridiculous and all this "boys distracting the girls" nonsense is appallingly sexist. Girls are just as disruptive as boys, and one's sex does not dictate one's character in utero so can we please get away from this boys are loud and disruptive and play football and girls are cute and studious and like pink!
I personally have generally got on better with girls, I never understood why I should behave "like normal girls", I got grubby and climbed trees AND was studious and hated people mucking about in lessons.
At my all girls state grammar I was horribly bullied, physically and verbally assaulted on at some points a daily basis. My class was full of loud, horrible, stupid girls who did drugs, had sex and avoided learning anything at all. If you were studious you were attacked, had chewing gum spat in your hair, chemicals thrown at you in chemistry lessons etc etc etc.
Thankfully on my 1.5 hour bus ride to school and then back again at the end of the day we had boys from the boys school on the bus too but it was still some of the darkest days of my life. I would never put my children through that, I think all children should be able to mix together regardless of sex, gender, race or religion.

[neuroticnicky]

While I had a good time at my all girls school I personally agree with you that its time for everyone to be schooled together and that division on the basis of sex or religion should be resisted wherever possible.In the long run I think this view will prevail as evidenced eg by the fact that the number of single sex private schools has halved in the last 20 years with generally only the better ones surviving. At this rate there will be none left by the end of the century. All it would take to finish off single sex private schools would be for one or two of the really top schools to start accepting members of both sexes at 11 and the others would be bound to follow suit. A similar process took place at Oxbridge colleges where the single sex colleges were eventually forced to take members of the opposite sex as they were languishing at the bottom of the league tables since the brightest students were applying to mixed colleges.

[Ohwiseone]

My daughter was at a co-ed prep school until last year when she asked if she could go to an all girls school. She loves maths and sciences and found the boys in her class silly and disruptive. She started at an all girls school Sept 2014 and is loving it. She's excelling in maths and biology and tells me that the teachers do not have to stop experiments etc to ask the boys to stop being silly etc. (She's year 7 btw)
She does however have an older brother and has (up until year 5 of prep) been around boys every day.
Unless your daughter doesn't have any interests outside of school, your friends don't have boys and there are no boys living on your street then she will of course come across boys.
For the academic side of school/education I would most definitely now choose an all girls school and my daughter will be staying at her all girls till she's 18.

[ridinghighinapril]

Plenty of girls (maybe even the majority) in my DD year (reception) that either only have sisters or are an only child. She is at an a girls indy that goes from 4-18y.
Even at age 3y, she found boys in her kindergarten class very disruptive and used to complain about them to me on a daily basis.
Clearly, it's not a one-size fits all. It suits my girl and if it at any point between 4-18y it seems she needs a different environment then we will look to change. If a school suits your DD then go for it.
Good luck!