If your child was given these spellings at age 10.5, what would you think?

[MindReader]

Just that really, what would you think if your child was given these spellings at age 10.5:

live
back
most
after
our
over
only
work

and the spelling activities sent home included things like:
'draw the letter on the child's back and get them to guess' and 'clap out the syllables of the word'.

[maizieD]

You are 'allowed' to have him assessed by whoever you like, the school has no control over that at all.

You are right that they would ignore a private assessment.

But, if you got a good private assessment it might pinpoint whatever is 'getting in the way' and give you a chance to see if you could find a tutor who would directly address the problem.

[youmakemydreams]

There are so many thinks you are saying that just sound so much like ds. Even the investigation 3 years ago except back then even I believed there was nothing amiss either. That she was just a little slow to pick up something's and a 'young' 7/8 year old.
Fast forward to last year when she was about to turn 10 and she said something insignificant to me and for some reason that was the trigger and the realisation that yes actually there was something amiss and all the little things pulled together in one big thing.

I think a few years ago although there were obvious problems she wasn't entirely out with the realms of normal. And just being that little bit younger with so many of them still at different stages didn't stand out so much.
Now at nearly 12 her struggles and difference are hugely obvious to people who back then didn't see it.

[ClaimedByMe]

I am speechless reading about your ed psych, I am in Scotland and things seem to be different, we are within our rights to get a private assessment and the school will support this, our main problem was getting the school to recognise she had a problem in the first place, it felt like they were trying to just get her through primary school to let high school deal with it, we got a new head and after dd had a meltdown/tantrum in the class due to frustration we have been taken very seriously.

The hardest thing for me was knowing that there was something wrong with my dd and nothing was being done about it.

[Ohmygrood]

Phone IPSEA and SOSSEN for advice.

[ChippingInLatteLover]

I'd have him out of that school immediately, I do not 'do' being threatened by the school. Who the actual fuck do they think they are threatening CO action because you want to get your child assessed??

I'd look for something really different to best match his ability. I'd home school while finding for the best place for him.

[Mashabell]

He sounds a bit like my son (now 40+ ) was at primary school. He went to Oxbridge and is a uni lecturer.

What helped him most was me constantly explaining to him that many English words have stupid spellings which just have to be learned, even though they make no logical sense - that he was getting things wrong, not because he was stupid, but because the spellings were.

Not all words have stupid spellings, but look at these inconsistencies:
live - drive
back - mac, anorak
most - toast
only - lonely
work - were.
To anyone with a logical mind such irregularities are simply mind-blowing. My son's best friend who is now a doctor used to be made really angry by English spelling too.

It might not work in your case, but u could try, if he will let u, to draw his attention to the tricky bits of words like miGHt (bite), wOrk (were), yoUr (or, more), coULd (wood, put, woman) which tend to cause spelling problems. It helped my son.

To many other dyslexics my explanations have come as a huge relief - i.e. somebody understanding what their problem is.

For adults who read words as wholes and mostly just let their hands do the writing, it's not always easy to see how insane English spelling often is. But nearly all misspellings are due to its inconsistencies, although the irregular spellings can make children unsure about the regular ones too: move - groove, rude - mood, head - bed .... They are like spanners which keep wrecking the main system.

Masha Bell

[dashoflime]

So sorry you are going through this OP. I think I know the Scottish LA with the reputation for threatening CP referrals.
My sister went through something very similar. The teachers said she was had low intelligence and was messy and lazy. Our Mum was unable to afford to get her assessed but did have her tested by MENSA. I believe this still only costs approx £25.00. The test showed a very high IQ and having this on paper made the school pull their fingers out and get some proper support.
From what you've said however, it seems like your school would ignore any evidence.
Was the Law Centre unable to advise any other route except changing schools? Could you change schools if need be?

[ChippingInLatteLover]

Then I'd move. Or go to the press if you are refused permission to home school. What utter bastards. No wonder the threat of cp works so well for them.

It constantly astounds me the differences in law amongst countries in the UK. I can't believe you have to ask permission to home school in Scotland.

He can't stay there. Whatever it takes to change it, you'll just have to find a way of doing it :(. I know you have another child, but you have to act for the one it's damaging, and then work out what's then best for the other one. Yes, it'll be a shame if your other child has to move away from his school/friends etc, but less damaging than keeping DS there.

Is weekly boarding out of the county, at an alternative sort of school, an option? A very different situation, but my friends DD is now boarding at a specialist school an hour away from home in a different county, weekly only. It's working out brilliantly for all of them.

[rabbitstew]

I would get a private ed psych assessment if you can afford it. You don't have to tell them you've done it if you don't want, it could just help make things more clear for you, although if it clearly flags up issues they are covering up and attempting to deny, then you could also threaten THEM for a change.

[MindReader]

dashof - pls don't say the authority on here, but can you pm me??? x

We can't drive to a non LEA school (big county, distances too far, have to get permission to change school...).
Moving is hard as cant sell house and have no £ cushion for renting / weekly boarding.

Would be happy to get 2nd child away too, the school is simply very poor in many ways, but clearly the LEA has it's mind set.

The current CforE / ed law in Scotland is so fuzzy it allows situations like this to continue. The are some great authorities and schools and some very poor ones that get away with it.

I wont go to press - too stressful.

It is very hard though, to choose between continuity and his hard won friendships and an education that will give him any chance at all.

What worries me most are the self esteem / future potential depression issues.

ps Masha - yes, thank you. this IS the sort of thing we say to him. H is dyslexic and struggles - yesterday on a work one day course he was the one picked to write some stuff on a white board and he came home white as a sheet - so we DO say this to ds.
Thank you very much for your inspiring story about your ds.
It is really really helpful to hear of people who have done well despite such setbacks. x.

[Lonecatwithkitten]

I am shocked that they have said private assessment would be a CP issue, really trying to get help for your struggling child puts them at risk.
Though not surprised not in Scotland, but in an LA in England saying that a member of my families autism was due to poor parenting!
Ultimately my family took the case to the care commission (care inspectorate in Scotland) and got a case review. Would this be something you would consider doing.
The upshot for my family was that it was found that LA and PCT had failed the child and it was removed from both their hands. Child's case is now managed by care commission and all people previously involved had had written warnings.

[ClaimedByMe]

Oh you are in Scotland? You know that legally they have to test him if you ask, they cannot refuse. This is all very new to me, I only started researching and getting help in Nov, I am so angry on behalf of you and your son.

[FriendlyLadybird]

This sounds heartbreakingly similar to what a friend of mine went through with her son. Why the hell do LEAs and schools do this? They also insisted that he had 'no problems' and was just not putting the work in. The poor little boy was discovered by my friend at midnight, bashing his head against the desk to try to make the spellings 'go in'.

She was lucky enough to be able to send him to a private school where he got a proper diagnosis and support. He's doing A levels this year, then off to university. I know that private school is not an option for everyone, but can you find an alternative?

[ClaimedByMe]

Wow! I must admit since I done my research and had a meeting with the school in Dec they have been falling over themselves to be as helpful as possible and offering all sorts of help and strategies. I am at a loss as to why they seem to want your ds to just sit and suffer, my dd eventually verbally lashed out at her teacher due to being so frustrated, dds behavior was totally out of character and her teacher tried to blame it on "something wrong at home" and tried to get her punished for it, that was the turning point for us and the school, she wasnt punished but now her teacher only communicates with us through the head as her teacher still thinks there is nothing wrong.

I dont understand what your ds school has to gain by not getting him the help and resources he needs.

[ChippingInLatteLover]

Jesus Christ. I am almost speechless, I cannot believe this is happening in Scotland. Fgs.

:(

I know it's easy to say, but I would do everything in my power to move.

My friend doesn't pay for her DD's specialist boarding school. They even provide the transport to & from home (over an hour away) every weekend. I know not everyone can go to this school, but there have to be other opportunities out there?!

[rabbitstew]

Can you not write to your MP? I don't understand why you aren't willing to make this public, tbh. And if your ds doesn't have dyslexia and doesn't have a sub-normal IQ, then the school should be condemned for failing to teach him how to spell simple words, given that there's no reason why they shouldn't succeed in this quest with a child with "no problems."

[MindReader]

Just wanted to say that I have re-read my posts and realised that they are potentially identifiable, so I have asked MNHQ to zap some of them which they have kindly agreed to.

I posted around 2 years ago about this general situation and I got a PM from someone who (correctly) identified the details.

I think the hardest thing is feeling I cannot safely speak about what has happened to us as a family. I know from being on the SN board some time ago that I am not alone in this, my situation is sadly far from unique, but it makes it worse, not being able to 'reach out'.

[AuditAngel]

You are very much describing DS here too. In Yr 3 his teacher tried to get him tested for Dyslexia but the school refused (I only discovered this last term, when DD1 had the same teacher also in Yr 3), in yr 4 he was tested and judged to be borderline for dyslexia diagnosis.

Yr 4 went well, he had a supportive teacher and strategies. Yr 5 teacher didn't support the strategies, took them away, waste of a year. SHE DIDN'T BOTHER TO TELL HIS YEAR 6 TEACHER ABOUT HIS DIAGNOSIS.

At parents evening, his Yr 6 teacher reels off various issues, I query if he knows about diagnosis.

In 2 weeks time DS is being re-tested to see where he now sits compared to his peers, and whether he now qualifies for additional help.

Additionally, having seen lots of similarities between the work of DS and DD1, she is now also going to be tested.