Should I say something to DS's teachers about this?

[IWillOnlyEatBeans]

DS1 (pfb) is in reception.

He has settled into school ok - loves the more structured side of things (phonics, maths etc) but struggles socially. He's really quiet and finds it difficult to mix/join in with his peers. When he does play with the other children, it's usually the girls.

There are two little boys in his class that have been telling DS1 that they don't like him, aren't his friend and that they aren't going to talk to/play with him. DS has mentioned this on a couple of occasions and says it makes him feel sad. When I asked how he responded he says he doesn't say anything (because then they would have to talk to him and they said they didn't want to).

Is this worth mentioning to DS's teachers? Or would I just come across as one of Those Mothers micro-managing her PFB's friendships? I have raised my concerns with them about DS's social development and they said they would keep an eye on how he was getting on.

Thanks.

[FrancesHouseman]

Write it in his book AND follow it up in person!

[IWillOnlyEatBeans]

Thanks Nancy and Kitty, that's really reassuring. I will definitely say something.

[KittyandTeal]

I'm a reception teacher and I'd like to know.

I might not specifically do anything about it at first but I'd definitely keep an eye open and ask the TAs to do the same. That way we could catch it happening and deal with it straight away.

Saying that I'd also probably do a circle time about using kind words and how words can hurt etc.

[NancyRaygun]

Sorry about all the typos!

[IWillOnlyEatBeans]

Thanks Expedititition, good advice. I'll write it in his communication book for Monday.

[Expedititition]

And for the record I have NEVER thought that parents are PFB/interfering if they tell me that their child is sad about something. He is your baby and you have to protect him.

[NancyRaygun]

Definitely definitely mention it and name names, it's not about telling tales but helping the teacher be aware. Reception is about learning to socialise and be confident in your personal relationships just as much as the educational side. The teacher csn help your DS and he deserves to feel completely hsppy supported snd confident in school or he won't learn properly. You won't be "that parent" you are in it together with the school and they can support your DS with this.

[Expedititition]

She didn't say there was a problem with him playing with girls.

As a teacher myself definitely tell the teacher exactly what he has said. Tell her it is making him sad and tell her the boys names.

When this happens in my class I often set up a little group including all of the involved children and some other lovely ones as a social group. I send them to do fun things with a TA together and it more often than not sorts any problems. If parents don't tell me then I don't always know.

[IWillOnlyEatBeans]

No problem at all ohmychrist, his girl friends are lovely.

[IWillOnlyEatBeans]

That's lovely MrSheen

There are only 10 boys in DS's class of 30 and they are all quite boisterous!

[ohmychrist]

There's no problem with him playing mainly/only with girls, surely?

[MrSheen]

Ds had similar problems in nursery. The teacher paired him up with another quiet boy and they are still really good pals 8 yrs later. They were both a bit too quiet to find each other iyswim.

[IWillOnlyEatBeans]

Thanks. Shall I mention which boys have been involved?

[SweepTheHalls]

I would definitely mention it

[tumbletumble]

Agree. I would mention to the teacher without making a big deal of it.

[BramwellLovesSnowflakeBiscuits]

Yes, if you mention it now the teachers can keep an eye on it and sort it out before it becomes a big issue.