Sex Ed - is 9 too young?

[Emlou1984]

I've had to give my 9yr old son the sex ed talk tonight. Although I think he is too young my hand was forced after he managed to watch some very questionable videos on a website whilst staying at his Dads. (he was shown a website whilst staying at his Dads relatives and curiosity got the better of him, which after seeing his scared face I am 100% sure he wont do again for many years, parental locks and laptop supervision all re-thought and amended accordingly!)
He is quite disturbed by what he saw, as am I, so have tried to explain to him the baby making process, and that what he saw is not 'real life' and that it was just actors for a camera etc
My main worry (aside from a now traumatised boy who probably wont sleep well now, but thats a seperate issue) is that by giving him this info, he will then think he has something new and exciting to share at school and go to tell all of his friends how babies are made, who in turn will mention to their own parents and it brings a world of trouble, is 9 too young?

[PandaNot]

I don't think 9 is too young, however there are many 9 year olds who don't have a clue either despite what everyone is saying here. My now 9 yr old ds had never asked anything, I don't think he'd ever thought about it before they started discussing it in science lessons this term! He's just not a very inquisitive boy

[optimusic]

So at what age do you think would have been a good age to have a sex ed talk?

It should really be about when they come and ask question imo. This is what happened to me and I completely freaked out when I had my period. Same with some males I have talked to, when they had their first hard on, or their first wet dream, they really freaked out and thought something was really wrong.

A lot of parents don't have the talk because they bury their heads in the sand. Or they are too embarrassed to talk about sex. Or they think their child is too young.

[Emlou1984]

It def wasn't about being embarrassed etc, just never gave if a thought as he's never asked me about anything, I think they get their school chat in year 6 and I know I'd have rather spoke to him before they did, but glad it's done now. Suppose I'll know I was good at the parent job when he's a stable reliable 35yr old married man, or a deeply affected recluse lol, it's the hardest job in the world (but def the most rewarding!)

[LauraChant]

Emlou I don't know if anyone answered your question but the "D" is dear, or darling or whatver - DD= Dear Daughter, DD2 = second daughter although confusingly some posters have the muber as the age leading to me thinking "you have 16 children?!"

You sound fun and nice, stick around - I like "what is Christmas if you take away the magic, just an expensive lunch" !

[Emlou1984]

Ah thanks Laura, i think I'd hate xmas if I didn't have my son, what do people do all day if they aren't building complicated Lego pirate ships and being shot with a nerf gun lol??! xx

[iseenodust]

EmLou our school also does the talk in year 6. DS is 9 and doesn't know much about the mechanics yet as he has never asked. We've concentrated more on families are made with love as one of his friends has same-sex parents.

[Idespair]

You should have tackled it well before now IMO. My youngest knew this stuff when starting reception. It's simple and funny to say to a young child something along the lines of daddy has a seed in his willy, puts it into mummy's fanjo so it can swim to her tummy, join up with her egg and grow into a baby in her tummy. And then come back out of fanjo when grown. Both my dc thought it was hilarious, they still know it and there will never be any embarrassment over it. Likewise, they both knew when they were 2 or 3 (they are girl and boy) that women have periods every month and can wear something resembling a nappy to catch it. I have a friend with a nearly 9yo dd who doesn't know about periods and is terrified of having the chat with her and scaring her, obviously it's getting more urgent but could have been avoided by a lighthearted chat years ago. If you know the basics, porn can be covered much later separately. If either of mine came across it, I would be able to explain, based on their existing knowledge which they are comfortable with. I am always shocked at people not covering this when the dc are little and it is so easy. It only gets harder so don't put it off!

[Emlou1984]

Idespair-lesson learned and when I have more children this will be how I tackle it, it's hard when you only have one as you've not had a trial run to see what works best lol x