Has anyone done state till eight?

[lifesobeautiful]

My DH and I are currently trying to decide what schooling route to take - state or private. I wondered if anyone had tried the state till eight thing - and if so how did it go? I also wondered if I could hear from anyone who was privately educated, but decided to send their kids to state schools - and how they found that.

I seem to be going round and round in circles! One minute thinking we should try the little local state school, then thinking no because of no playing fields etc (we're in central london). Then thinking yes, because we'll have more money for holidays and he'll meet a more diverse social crowd...then changing my mind..AARRRGH.

Any experiences/thoughts would be gratefully received.

[Runningchick123]

We all pay our taxes so we all pay for state education. We are entitiled to access it for our DC at any time we choose. But we have no duty to remain there if it doesn't suit us. For whatever reason.

Tis is probably the best and most accurate thing I have read on the thread so far.

[stealthsquiggle]

The steady growth in numbers in DC's school in years 3 - 6 suggests that people must be doing this (DS's year is more than twice the size in Y7 that it was in Y2) but I can't say that I have ever asked anyone if that was a deliberate decision.

[SoupDragon]

Arrogance is due to poor parenting, not education.

[mrsshackleton]

I did it.

I gave our local primary (generally seen as atrocious) a chance. It turned out to be a lovely school, pastorally. It had huge grounds despite being in London, in comparision to miserable concrete playgrounds at most of nearish privates. It also had a far more relaxed vibe and less stressy, BlackBerry-gazing/yummy-mummy parents than at the private schools I toured, where they were asking questions like "Why don't you teach Latin from Y3?" etc.

It turned out to be a lovely school. However, academic standards weren't very high (they're improving now), plus at the end of yr 2, we learned a lot of dc1's close friends would be moving abroad.

The only private school near us that I liked and seemed relatively down to earth started at y3, so it seemed an obvious time to move dc1. There's no doubt she's receiving a better academic education at the private school, but she was very happy at her old school and had her friends stayed, I would have kept her there, and tried to fill in the gaps myself.

Dc2 is at the state school and we haven't yet decided whether to move him or not as he is as much more robust and academic character, plus the academic standards are higher now.

I think that if you like the look of your local state, it's worth giving it a whirl and see how it works out. You will probably be pleasantly surprised. State schools in London are improving all the time, many are excellent.

Personally, I didn't give a monkeys how others in the community viewed my decision, it was personal, it was correct for my child, it was not a judgement on them and their decisions. The school were fine about it. But I do know other parents who've been rollocked by the head for moving their child at 7/8, so it might be worth enquiring discreetly how this will be viewed, just so you can prepare yourself.

[SoupDragon]

It's like saying state schools create yobs. No, parenting creates yobs.

[merrymouse]

A DC who can speak several languages fluently

I have not met anybody, in the state or private system, who has achieved this goal in a UK school...

[noddyholder]

Bonsoir I don't know many private or state who can do all that. I also believe the next generation have changed and don't give a toss half as much as their parents.

[Farewelltoarms]

You've not met my daughter's best friend, 6, who can speak Mandarin and Cantonese as well as English, or my son's friend, 9, who can speak Arabic and French, or other daughter's friend, 5, who speaks Portuguese and German...

[noddyholder]

No I haven't. Fortunately I am not impressed by such things and see a bigger picture. People are individuals and school is a small part of who someone is. The person who speaks more languages or can speak in public is not better in any way shape or form than anyone else no matter where these skills were acquired.

[noddyholder]

My best friend has 2 out of uni now and they had a v privileged upbringing at school and at home but I can honestly say they are no better or different than any other 20 somethings. They are both lovely and confident etc but nothing exceptional Both have good degrees but working in bars etc as they are only interested in travelling and living a fairly simple life. I think this is great they are just well educated but not at any advantage that I can see.Also both back living at home with mum s can't get a job that will pay rent.

[holidaybug]

There's nothing more guaranteed to get people excited on Mumsnet than the whole state/private sector debate. This will go on and on ..............

[Farewelltoarms]

That's my point Noddy - these kids all speak loads of languages because of their parents happening to be native speakers, not to do with their schooling (which happens to be state, what with them being these EAL kids that my neighbours want to avoid).

Generally I think these threads give too much credence to the idea that it's all about the schools you go to. Those glowy private school kids? They've may well have interesting and supportive parents. And had they been sent to the local state, they'd have been just as glowy.

Most of our friends are well-educated, involved and relatively affluent. Their children are almost all articulate, academically successful and charming. They are off to the same universities and they speak with the same accents. It's almost impossible to tell who went to what school.

[Weegiemum]

I was state educated, dh private.

Our children go to state school though we could afford private. Dh was very keen on this - he hated his private school. We send our dc to a bilingual state school and honestly we couldn't buy their education if we tried!

[merrymouse]

I meant children who learn to speak a language fluently at school e.g. because they have French lessons, not children who grow up bi-lingual/tri-lingual.

Anyway OP, you can always change course before 8 and many people do. In particular, many private schools have pre-school sections that are eligible for early years funding, and many primary schools now have nurseries.

Your duty is as follows:

"The parent of every child of compulsory school age shall cause him to receive efficient full-time education suitable—

a: to his age, ability and aptitude, and

b: to any special educational needs he may have,

either by regular attendance at school or otherwise." 1996 Education Act.

Look at the schools and look at your child, then do your best and realise that as with anything else in life and parenting, there is no perfect choice and there will always be another route that you could have taken, but all you can do is your best at the time.

[merrymouse]

Agree with your last comment, Farewell, about the confidence coming from the parents rather than the school.

[FoundAChopinLizt]

I live in a town where all the high earning educated professional parents, e.g. medics, vets, scientists, architects etc send their dcs to the only comp. The able dcs go on to very good unis on competitive courses. There are great music, drama and sports facilities. As it is a true comp with no competing grammars the intake represents a full range of abilities, socioeconomic backgrounds and some ethnic diversity. Our town has a wide range of property prices, so you don't have to be rich to live here. The only private schools are long bus rides over an hour away, and no one seems to send their dcs there. In fact, it would be social suicide to do so.

I expect many of the pro private people on here would send their dcs to our comp, and not feel they will have a second rate education.

If I lived in a different town, with a really poor comp, and everyone we knew with similar jobs to us were going private I might do the same.

What I object to is the generalisation about state and private, for example kangaroos assertion that state children don't have a sense of inner worth.

[thegreylady]

My son in law was privately educated [boarding from 13] and,although they could afford private, he and dd have chosen a small [village] primary for the boys and intend them to go to the 'Outstanding'[at present] comp where dd is teaching.
They feel the advantages they could give the boys [including saving for uni.] outweigh the benefits of private education.The boys are in year groups of 15 in lovely surroundings and are happy and seem to be doing well academically.

[FreckledLeopard]

Personally, with hindsight, I'd rather have sent DD private from Reception onwards, then state from secondary (if needs be.  I'd probably do private all the way through though).

DD is at private secondary school.  But I found that her state primary school did not prepare her with the basics in the same way that independent schools do. 

Maths for example - there does seem to be more of a focus on really getting to grips with the basics, learning tables by rote, consolidating knowledge with homework etc at private schools.  I was frustrated by the lack of homework at DD's state schools and the 'creative' teaching methods.

Also, independent primary schools tend to have time to teach languages to a far greater extent than state schools.  Sport, too, is a key part of the curriculum and sporting opportunities are better at independent schools, especially in London. 

In short, I'd rather be confident that my children had grasped the basics in key subjects, which they could then build on in the state environment, than the other way round

[Bonsoir]

merrymouse - I frequently meet DC educated in London private schools who are plurilingual (we meet them on holiday - there are obviously certain sorts of hotels/destinations that attract a particular plurilingual clientèle!).

[MogTheForgetfulCat]

Why are so many of the state schools on this thread 'little'? My DC go to quite a good-sized state primary .

[Bonsoir]

"Little" when applied to state schools is generally considered to be a redeeming quality than counteracts the anonymity of state education versus private.

[noddyholder]

Bonsoir that is possibly the most ridiculous post I have ever read on Mn

[MogTheForgetfulCat]

I think you'll find it's one of those unthinkingly patronising add-ons, actually.

[Bonsoir]

I didn't say I agree with it...