And so it begins..... facebook updates telling of glowing end of year reports

[starterforeight]

Why do it ?

Tell your kids how proud you are of their effort and or achievement this academic year, let them show their grandparents/favourite auntie/whoever but bragging on facebook is truly vulgar (or "naff" if you prefer).

Don't get me wrong, my dc's reports indicate that they've had a good year but I'd rather stick hatpins in my eyeballs than update my facebook status accordingly.

[merrymouse]

And that is why I almost never use it.

However, I can see that I'm not being over sensitive in thinking that people can be upset/offended and also that people are not filtering the information that they send out.

starterforeight - exactly re: other school parents. This is the kind of situation where I think you do need to think about your audience, and not over share.

[martini84]

Don't have a problem with these posts as such. However I think sometimes primary school reports are so positive anyway that it devalues the posts somewhat. Same with parent's evenings. And yes prople saying,things like " so proud of my little man" is a step too far.

[MrsBungle]

I have no problem with people posting stuff like this on fb. I don't have a huge friends list - just people I'm actually friends with and I like hearing about all that they and their kids have been up to. All my family and loads of my friends are in Scotland and I'm not so it's an excellent way to keep in touch and share things.

I honestly think it's bloody miserable to be complaining about what people write on their fb if it's not offensive. De-friend, hide, you have options.

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

What Growlithe said. Why the hell have you got an account if it pisses you off so much? Why should your friends tailor their fb updates to suit you? They can't be very good friends if you have such a problem with them. I can't near fb whingers.

[Growlithe]

martini but it is great that children have positivity in school, and proud parents at home. I think surrounding primary age children with positivity is a good thing.

What a great message for a child to be given a good report (even if everyone else has) and for their parents to be genuinely excited and proud of it, rather than a 'that's nice dear' and sticking it in a drawer.

[differentnameforthis]

I share mine on fb because the rest of my family want to know how my girls are doing. I live in Australia, so it is easier to share that way than send a dozen ind emails etc.

Quite bluntly, op...people really need to stop moaning about what people post on fb. It's like going into someone's home & telling them they can't put certain pictures on their walls....it is a personal space that you are invited to be a part of, don't like it? Stay off facebook!

[merrymouse]

Many people have got into all sorts of difficulties by believing that social media is a personal space.

[HoneyDragon]

Facebook isn't a minefield at all. Just accept some people feel the need to critique and sneer and that they can do this in the privacy of their own home and it affects you in no way what so ever. Then post what you damn well please.


I have heard no documented cases ever of people being forced to be on or read face book at gun point ever, son post what you like and assume people can always. Not read it.

[merrymouse]

"Just accept some people feel the need to critique and sneer"

or you may be blindly and unintentionally posting something that is insensitive, in a way that you wouldn't if you were talking to all your FB 'friends' face to face.

I think a child's school report is strictly family and very close friends. It's not something that needs to be posted for general information to the other parents in your child's class. (As in the OP's example). If you wouldn't say it to somebody's face, don't say it in social media.

[evertonmint]

FFS being on Facebook is not a passive thing tailored to tour own personal requirements by magic. If you dislike what somebody does you have to do something about it - defriend/hide/leave. I have 200 friends on there - even if I felt I should (which I don't) I couldn't possibly think through what everyone might want to see and who has stupid ishoos before I post. So I post and assume they will defriend (they have), hide (I assume they have) or enjoy (they do) to suit them. My page is my responsibility. Your response to it is not. So sort your own page out and stop bitching about it on MN. FFS.

Of course, this doesn't apply to Twitter and I'll happily bitch and moan with you about the twats on there if you want

[MirandaWest]

I put that I'm proud of my DC when I get their reports. I am not a gushy type at all but I put it on there as I like to let friends know about it. And I seem to get people liking it so either they do or someone is holding a gun to their head.

I sometimes post about the minutiae of my life - this especially pleases my mum who only has about 4 friends so whatever I do looms quite large for her .

And when I post something about me it is about me. I do not keep a record of which friends do or don't post what dentils about their DC. I don't assume it means anything tbh - each person can post what they like and it is up to them.

[sydlexic]

If all a person is guilty of is being proud of their DC, and showing them they are pleased, then I think that we can forgive them. How many of us lacked parental approval and would have been delighted if our parents announced to the world how wonderful we are?

[Growlithe]

I actually have a friend who told me she didn't like reading about friend's holidays and trips out on FB because she was jealous. I know she wouldn't defriend anyone because she is also very nosey.

Should I tailor my updates in case she gets jealous of something I'm saying or doing. Of course not. Those traits are hers to sort not mine to avoid.

[MrsMelons]

I never put any specifics on my fb status, DS1 is very academic so people apparently do not like.to hear that so I only discuss with family, friends and MN

I am really proud if DS1 and sometimes I feel envious when people post about their DCs achievements as I just don't feel comfortable doing that in case someone doesn't like it.

[HoneyDragon]

Merry
I agree with that, but I think that someone would equally say something insensitive without looking to see who's around them too.

My friends and I opened our school reports together as we were at my house, a lot of other parents will open and read them in the playground and compare. Some don't.

It's the same on face book. Some post some don't.


But it's not vulgar nor is it naff to do so.

[ThePortlyPinUp]

Last night I posted on FB that I was proud of dd1 after receiving her sats results, I am bloody proud of her and want to sing it from the rooftops. If that offends anyone on my friends list they can feel free to delete me :D

[Crunchymunchyhoneycakes]

I think sometimes people get so caught up in their own situation that they think everything is about them. People aren't posting AT you, it is about how they feel and is really nothing to do with you. If you think it's vulgar and naff then don't do it. Other people don't think that clearly so it makes sense that they do.

I kind of wonder why some people are on facebook when it is such a source of self inflicted angst for them.

[MrsMelons]

I think it is fine to post how proud you are but to put levels is possibly going too far as it would worry me that someone who's child didn't do so well would be upset.

I don't think it should actually matter though! !!

[Crunchymunchyhoneycakes]

Also - don't compare your insides to other people's outsides, most people use facebook to share their good news it doesn't mean there is no problems in their lives.

[Growlithe]

See I'm reading MrsMelons post and thinking what a shame she is made to feel like she can't talk about being proud of her child's achievements. Who is anyone to take that away from her.

As well as that, I'm made up for Portlys daughter, even though I don't know her. I love to hear someone doing well.

My mum wouldn't tell anyone I was doing well in school. She said she didn't like to brag. It might have done me some good if she had because I was so insecure in other ways it would have been a chance to big me up a bit.

[littlemiss06]

I don't see anything wrong with sharing how proud you are of your children on facebook, infact I love reading everyone's statuses, theyre not doing any harm and I for one will also be posting about my children when I get their reports because I love sharing with my family and friends.

[Growlithe]

The shrouding of levels in secrecy isn't necessarily a good thing either. You may think your child is doing ok against expected attainment targets, but if the whole class is two sub levels above him wouldn't you want to know about that so you could address it?

[MrsMelons]

It may just be me being daft but parents were quite nasty when he was moved up a year in Y1 as they said it wasn't fair on their DCs so I realised quickly not yo discuss.

I definitely won't share this on FB and have only told family and v.close friends but he has won an academic scholarship to his junior school and I am so proud of him as he has done it with no extra work and just being him in an average state infant school. I am so proud I could burst and want to shout from the rooftops.

[Growlithe]

MrsMelons that is brilliant and you should be shouting it from the roof tops.

Would anyone really not want to read that news from one of their friends on Facebook? It's great news. Well done the boy Melons.

[merrymouse]

I have 200 friends on there - even if I felt I should (which I don't) I couldn't possibly think through what everyone might want to see and who has stupid ishoos before I post.

Except presumably these people have a real presence in your life as colleagues and acquaintances, even if not close friends.

You might be able to unfriend somebody on Facebook, but not so easy to make somebody vanish in real life.