And so it begins..... facebook updates telling of glowing end of year reports

[starterforeight]

Why do it ?

Tell your kids how proud you are of their effort and or achievement this academic year, let them show their grandparents/favourite auntie/whoever but bragging on facebook is truly vulgar (or "naff" if you prefer).

Don't get me wrong, my dc's reports indicate that they've had a good year but I'd rather stick hatpins in my eyeballs than update my facebook status accordingly.

[noisytoys]

I don't care what any of my friends post on their Facebook, its their account they can do what they like with it. I won't post anything on my acc about DDs report because I like it to be just for her and family (I've posted on here bits about her though because its anonymous to most people)

[Growlithe]

So, you don't like friends posting about their children. So defriend them. But then, what is going to annoy you next? Then after that cull, what next again?

Do this a few times, then see what you are left with. I bet it will be a lot more boring a news feed than when you started.

Really, you need to be more tolerant of people who are just into different things than you, and react in different ways than you do. You'll end up happier and more relaxed.

[Arisbottle]

I love to hear that my friend's children are doing well, I am now sure why you would object .

[AryaUnderfoot]

FB brags are no way near as irritating as MN threads titled 'DS achieved a 3c in October in Year 1 and is on lime level - is he doing ok?'

[FatherSpodoKomodo]

Well I love to hear news from my friends - that's why I'm friends with them. So news about their day (good or bad) news about their kids, holidays, nights out etc.
If I didn't want to read about it I wouldn't be on there in the first place.

Which reminds me, I haven't put my school report post up yet. I wonder how many of my friends it will annoy.

[AbbyR1973]

Is it just academic achievements/reports/ exam results there is a problem with or is it objectionable to post about DC's music/ sporting/ extra-curricular achievements?

Personally I'm delighted to hear how well my friends children are getting on... why shouldn't they be proud of their DC's? I'd steer away from school gates conversations but FB is a place for me to share my news with my friends and family and to hear how they are getting on. I'm pretty certain in the pre-Facebook era that my parents used to write with family news to their dear friends in America who had known us as babies.

[Portofino]

Going on threads today, anything positive on FB is "showing off". I think some people forget what FB is for. God knows my life is stressful enough, I don't want to log on FB and have dearth of shit. Some of my RL friends are having a hard time at the mo. I want to support them but don't mind having my wall interposed with mad cat videos and check ins at costa.

[DeWe]

I like to hear how well my friends' dc have done. It's lovely that they're proud of them. I like to hear that one has surpassed himself and managed three level 6s in year 6. I also like to hear that another who has special needs managed to write their name for the first time at age 8yo. They're the sort of thing people don't tell you in rl for fear of being told they're boasting, and actually I love to hear of others' successes.

I don't mind holiday snaps either, I don't see them as boasty. Mind you I'm perfectly happy where we go in England on holiday, so maybe you feel different if you're jealous of where they go.

[ShadeofViolet]

Its a sad world we live in if people cant celebrate achievements or enjoyments for fear of offending people.

My DS is not doing academically well at school (he has SN and lots of problems), but it doesnt mean I dont enjoy hearing about other people doing well. In the same way that I hope people dont roll their eyes when they read my status about DS eating a banana for the first time, or being able to write his name independently.

[AryaUnderfoot]

my dc's reports indicate that they've had a good year

Which is more vulgar, telling your friends and family that your child has had a good year or telling a load of people that, quite frankly, don't give a shit?

[BooksandaCuppa]

Share or don't share your dc's achievements, whatever. I'm more for the sharing than against it because it's nice to see your friends' dcs doing well, isn't it?

What I don't like is when someone has more than one child and only ever posts about one of them (yes, I'm looking at you, owner of a 9 year old ds who scores the winning goal for his football team every week - don't your 7 year dd or 11 year ds do anything ever? Are you sure not?)

[Portofino]

One of my friends has a child who is undergoing diagnosis for SN. When she posts links to info say re. Dyspraxia and grows her knowledge that is a good thing right? I am allowed to be happy for her? And not judge her?

[christinarossetti]

Tone and quantity are the ishooos for me.

Don't mind what other people write, but would rather stick pins in my eyes than put details of my children's reports on FB (unless ds's mentions that he's been sporting a wig of red ringlets all year which is a. true b. quite amusing imvho).

[HomageToCannelloni]

The whole of society is built upon us displaying our successes to one another. That's what one puma ship, keeping up with the joneses, fashion, the house you live in, the car you drive, the pursuits you enjoy are all deeply linked to how we feel we stand in society and how we want others to perceive us. It's instinctive. If you hate it so much why not just unfriend them instead of being so grumpy and snobby about it?

[Shattereddreams]

I can predict which friends will post how amazing their kids are.
I don't like them much but sometimes friendships are linked or can be a but p

[Shattereddreams]

Aaarh

Political. Such as book club friends. I hate these posts too.

[HomageToCannelloni]

One puma ship, honestly, this auto correct thing just gets worse...one upmanship is what I typed! :o

[Portofino]

Who do you lot have as friends?

[Growlithe]

Shattered really FB is the ideal place where, if a friendship really is 'political' (which in itself is the problem, not Facebook or a proud parent's updates), you can just hide that friend if they annoy you.

But an even better thing to do is not start being friends with them on Facebook. If I was in a book club, for instance, I just wouldn't accept any friends on Facebook as I often rant about politics and stuff on Facebook and I wouldn't do that in real life at a book club meeting.

[starterforeight]

AryaUnderfoot I just knew that someone would take those 10 words out of context. You can't use them alone.... they formed a full explanatory sentence which is vastly different when quoted in full.

I also notice that you posted twice, once with an initial response followed up by a second post presumably intended to discredit my OP by selectively quoting an extract out of context to form a totally wrong impression.

My facebook friends list includes a large number of the dc's classmates mums/dads, it's an easy way to keep in touch, arrange nights out, share useful information via "Year X parents group"s etc, so these parents know the post will be seen by a large number their dc's classmates parents............

[MidniteScribbler]

I don't have a problem with facebook friends posting about their achievements, their children's achievements or their dog's achievements.

But then again, I actually like my facebook friends.

[merrymouse]

What is the etiquette of Facebook then?

If somebody asks to be your friend is it OK not to accept them if they are a perfectly nice person (somebody you met on a course who just wants to stay in touch) but you reserve Facebook for family?

Isn't it really offensive to de-friend people?

How do you work out what their Facebook expectations are?

If somebody at your book club says "Did you see my friend request? I'm sharing all the photos of my weekend at Hay on Wye on Facebook", How do you say in a nice way that you don't want to be their FB friend? (because you usually filter your political views in their presence, but not on FB)

I can also see a number of situations where you might play down parts of your life even to close friends, depending on what was happening in their lives.

To me, Facebook is a minefield.

[Growlithe]

If Facebook is that much of a minefield to you, you shouldn't join.

It is really just a method of communication. It's not evil, it's just open. It's up to you how you use it. If you aren't an open person, it's probably not the site for you.

If you are that bothered by the politics of it all, there are ways to group your friends into close friends and acquaintances, so that you can target your updates accordingly.

If these updates are bothering you, you can change the settings of the particular friend within your own newsfeed to say you don't want all their updates, just to say 'important life events'.

You can also set up groups for, say, parents who want to share information, without having to personally become friends with everyone in the group.

[Bunbaker]

I don't see it because none of my friends are twats, and I don't post on my wall anyway.