Calling all parents of Y4 boys..

[TheSmallPrint]

Please tell me that the attitude, answering back, ignoring me completely and general disregard of EVERYTHING will be gone in the next couple of months. Please!

He was such a lovely bright and gentle child who worked hard and did his best. I don't know where he's gone.

[iseenodust]

Oh yes. "You don't know, you're not me." aaaagh.

Confiscation of the Wii is the most effective weapon.
We also try to knacker him out channel the energy and hormones with lots of sport.

[stealthsquiggle]

The phrase "what gave you the impression this was a democracy?" came into play at about this age, IIRC.

The worst of it generally seemed (and still does, in Y6) to be linked to lack of sleep /water/food. When well fed, watered and rested he is a different, and much nicer boy.

[TheSmallPrint]

Yes tiredness makes it worse and end of term is usually a killer.

I have also had the comments 'you can't make me do/eat/tidy (delete as appropriate) that' followed by a sneer. Oh yes I can my boy, but I may be arrested if I try!

Thing is, when they are nice you just want to eat them up because they are so lovely.

[ouryve]

I'd like to reassure you, but it's never not been there, for us. (Another one with ASD and ADHD)

I suspect that what does happen is that you get better at handling it so it becomes less of an issue. Kids around this age don't want to feel babied, anymore and are becoming more questioning of parental "wisdom" and just plain more opinionated. They need to feel more involved in decisions made on their behalf and less dictated to. It's a time to choose battles very wisely.

[TheSmallPrint]

ouryve, funnily enough I actually said that to my DS. I asked if he could just stop with the defiance on every single little thing I asked him to do as it was becoming white noise to me and I was permantly cross at him which is no fun for him or me. I told him I was happy for him to argue with me on things that really mattered to him and I would be more likely to listen. I would too.

[gnushoes]

Arguing about bloody everything then bursting into tears when I disagree with him? One here as well. Driving me to gin.

[Labro]

have a yr 6 ds, comments yesterday from him were classic! 'do I hear a fly buzzing in the room' when I asked him to do his homework and screeching at the top of his lungs when I apparently interrupted him! So, nope, it doesn't stop in yr 4 (he was fairly normal then!) Also second the much worse when hungry/tired/needs a drink.

[TheSmallPrint]

anyone considered boarding school yet?

[iseenodust]

I may have threatened boarding school. However the reply was 'you wouldn't like that either'. I guess at least he knows he's loved

[wol1968]

Hugs here...I've just put my 9 year old DS on a technology ban for a week due to episodes of pinching, jostling and hitting out at school. And explaining for the nth time that hitting out when someone annoys you is NOT the smart thing to do despite the little buggers richly deserving a punch on the nose and will always get you into big trouble.

Head. Bang. Wall.

[Elibean]

I have a wonderful book called 'Talking to Tweens'.

I sort of knew everything in it already, but it is sooo reassuring

Y4 girls are not dissimilar, if you add in the huge mood swings and not knowing whether you're going to get the room-tidying-homework-managing-I-can-do-it-all-myself version or the sister-insulting-dirty-clothes-in-back-of-cupboard-sugar-inhaling-screen-addicted version, on a daily basis.....

[Elibean]

ps if it helps, they do start having hormone fluctuations around this age...

[gabsid]

I thought middle childhood was lovely? . DS started with terrible 3s, it has slightly improved, but mostly changed into something more verbal and opinionated, sometimes utterly silly (like the 3yo), very angry or simply ignoring me completely.

Or rude: DS: I am bored! Me: we are eating in a minute, could you lay the table please? DS: No, do it yourself!

[DontCallMeBaby]

Ohhhh, the boys are like this too? Well, that's oddly reassuring, in a way. Hysterical tears from DD yesterday because someone suggested she might have hayfever. Sympathies ...

[TheSmallPrint]

Yes I get told to do things myself or that they have to do everything because blatantly I do sod all around the house.

There is something comforting about knowing everyone else is in the same boat. Do you know what made me feel better today? I watched the UK version of my Sweet 16 where rich spoilt kids have huge parties. Suddenly my DS didn't seem quite so bad!