Hi aliasjoey:
Well to be fair to your DD she is too old for the new changes coming in which will require all 9 year olds to know their times tables to x12 (I guess from 2014 - propsed by Gove: www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2075356/Children-learn-times-tables-age-9-tough-new-curriculum-plans.html
Why is knowing your times tables helpful - well it ultimately allows you to work swiftly through real life situations like I want to buy X gadget - it costs £557 how much will I have to save over 6 months to buy it - so 557 divided by 6 = 6 into 55 = 9 (9x 6 = 54) and 6 into 17 = 2 (2 x 6 = 12) remainder 5/6 - so in effect you will have to save 93 pounds a month over 6 months to afford it.
In much the same way knowing your number bonds (all the ways to make numbers between 1 and 20 - so for example for 8 it's 0 + 8, 1 + 7, 2 + 6, 3 + 5, 4 + 4, 5 + 3, 6 + 2, 7 + 1 and 8 + 0). Learning these tricks means carrying and borrowing is relatively straightforward for more complicated division/ multiplication sums.
Now I don't know how much you are paying your DDs tutor -and how often they meet or what homeworks are set - but if she's just doing an extra hour say and s/he's mainly talking at her with very little practice for her - perhaps you need to explore other options.
many here have posted about the success they have had with on-line tutorials - maths factor, mathletics and mathswhizz. The prices vary a lot and the formats appeal to different children as well - but the advantage of these is that it's all about practice (so little bits of explanation and then off you go to try it out). Many also have games to reinforce multiplication/ division skills. Maths factor has a multiplication school - and it's format of lots and lots of practice (literally thousands of sums over and over until you really know it forward and backwards) may be what your DD needs. [It's also highly visual - video tutorial maybe 2 or 3 minutes, a game and then straightforward traditional maths problems to solve in a generous amount of time). All these can be found by using a search engine.
It's understandable, especially if you and your DH are very time pressured with work, to want to hand this over to someone else - but the question is after 18 months is there any real improvement? What do you want to improve. If it's core calculation skills and practice is the issue - consider something like Khan Academy (free - link here: www.khanacademy.org/) which explains mathematics concepts step by step from simple addition to going right up to A-level mathematics problems (i.e. calculus).
With multiplication and division there are tons of games out there to bed down skills:
Timez Attack - is like a dungeon and dragons game where you're an ogre and race through a maze solving multiplcation problems. It's time pressured and the ogre quizzing you can be stressful but it forces you to really know your times table facts. There is a free version with two worlds and then there are other versions with more options - info here: www.bigbrainz.com/. After she's mastered that she can move on to division attack to practice those inverse multiplication skills.
Woodland Junior school has tons to support multiplication skills: resources.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/maths/timestable/index.html
Your DD isn't 'stupid' your FIL most likely is for being so insensitive to her struggles. She's probably achieved a lot over the last 18 months - but may still lack confidence and may not yet 'get it'. It wasn't helpful to blurt that out but your FIL has possibly rightly observed that even after 18 months of work, she's still struggling.
Really work with your DD (in those small bits of time you can grab: car rides, waiting times, walks, etc...) to work through number families. Does she get that 2 times table is related to 4, 8 (and even 6, 10 and 12)? [4 is simply x2 and x2 again or double and double again/ 8 is simply x 2 and x 2 and x2 again or double, double and double a third time - or if you know your 4s just double the 4s time table answers - i.e. 5 x 4 is 20 so 5 x 8 = double (5 x 4) or double 20 = 40. With 6 it's double 3 times table - so 2 x 6 is the same as double (2 x 3). With 12 you can simply double again (so know your 3s table - double (for 6 table) and double again (for 12 table). With 10 it's double 5 times table (so 10 x 12 is the same as double (5 x 12) - often this is an easier concept applied backwards - you DD probably knows her 10s but can't always recall 5s - ask her what 1/2 of a 10 result would be - so for 5 x 4 that's the same as 1/2 (10 x 4) or 1/2 (40) = 20.] So after you're done with 2s and related. You can play with 3s family (3/ 6/ 9/ and 12). 3 is just counting by 3s and learning it and as discussed above 6 is simply doubling the 3s times table results.
The 9s times table is simple once you know the tricks:
9 x 1 = 09
9 x 2 = 18
9 x 3 = 27
9 x 4 = 36
9 x 5 = 45
9 x 6 = 54
9 x 7 = 63
9 x 8 = 72
9 x 9 = 81
9 x 10 = 90
9 x 11 = 99
9 x 12 = 108
Up to x10 - the answer to 9s times tables always starts with 1 less than the multiple - so 9 x 4 (one less than 4) - number starts 3. Now the trick is (and this works for all 9s up to x12) is that all the numbers in the answer add up to 9. So what + 3 = 9. 6 + 3 = 9. So 4 x 9 = (starts with 3 and number + 3 =9) or 36.
You can also do it by folding fingers. Hold hands palm up with two pinkies together. Start numbering 1 on left thumb and count round to 10 on right thumb. Now fold over the multiple of 9 - so say you want to work out 7 x 9. Fold over your 7th finger (you're right ring finger) you'll have 6 fingers to the left of the folded finger and 3 to the right. Fingers to left are tens and fingers to right are units.
Basically once you know all that - that just leaves 11s and 7s.
11s are great because up to 9 it's just the multiple 2x (i.e. 3 x 11 = 33). After 9 there's a trick. You split the mutliple and add the two digits together for middle number - i.e. 14 x 11 = 1 - (1+4) - 4 = 154. It works for all 2 digit numbers but bigger numbers mean you have to carry (so for example 48 x 11 = 4 - (4+8) - 8 = 4 - (12) - 8 [you'll have to carry the 10 tens] so it's 48 x 11 = (4 + 1) - 2 - 8 = 528.
The only 7 you simply just have to learn (memorise) is 7 x 7 = 49 - you've learned all the rest in the other times tables.
Keep believing in your DD. Keep up the support and encouragement but just like a sport or a musical instrument, learning these things can be difficult and takes time, patience, perserverance and I'm afraid a lot of practice. Little and often will get you there. Download apps to your mobile - 3 apps recommended by PC Advisor magazine here: www.pcadvisor.co.uk/features/software/3380559/3-of-the-best-maths-apps-for-children/ - whilst your DD is waiting for you or a sibling, just hand her the phone and hey presto she's practicing.
All I can say aliasjoey is if you feel it is an important skill to multiply and divide with ease keep plugging away. She'll get there in the end!
HTH
