Is it the teacher's job to ensure your child enjoys school?

[TheFlyingOnion]

If a very undermotivated pupil hates school, is it up to me to make him like it?

Presuming the work is interesting, informative, relevant and correctly differentiated, is it my problem? What else can I do?

[AuntieMonica]

*verGe

[TheFlyingOnion]

I just said it was possible!!

Otherwise, I'm at a loss... he's clever, he can do it, he just doesn't want to!

Where is MNHQ? Are they all on a Friday night drunk thread already?

[weevilswobble]

But the parents have him doing sums at home poor kid. Why?????? Why doesnt the parent home school? The mother says 'ooooo little johnny reads far more advanced books at home.' geezzz. So What? What point is the mother trying to make?

[Maisiethemorningsidecat]

I'm guessing that FlyingOnion has a good few teaching years under her belt, and I'm guessing that she's probably got a pretty good idea of what is going on in the lives of her pupils. Given that she has reached a tentative conclusion on that basis, and is looking for constructive advice then I think she should be applauded.

[Trippler]

Lots of children read books of a higher level at home. Personally I think it's quite good information for a teacher to have, but years of reading MN has persuaded me that I'd be a Pushy Parent if I so much as mentioned it in passing at parents' evening.

Weevil do you know that for every parent who's a pain in the arse, there are some who are too intimidated to give the teacher any information about their child in case the teacher 'takes against them' for daring to voice anything at all about their child.

[Fairenuff]

I don't think you should delete the posts. Why is ok for parents to ask endless questions about teachers and other children and not ok for a teacher to ask advice about one of the class members . Bit hypocritical

It sounds like the child has low self esteem. I agree that the parents should stop with the extra work at home and go out and do fun things with him. Remind them to praise the effort, not the result. Also, let him know it's ok to fail and get things wrong.

Does he do lots of things for himself at home. Age appropriate responsibilities at home (washing up, making his own packed lunch, making his bed, setting the table, etc.) will all help raise his self esteem.

Practical issues - is he getting enough sleep and does he eat well and have friends to play with. Is he getting enough positive attention.

Are there any family changes, new job, sibling moving schools, grandparent unwell, any change of routine.

In school, carry on with the rewards. Consider a 'now and next' chart - first you do this, then you get to do that (reward).

Hope some of this is relevant.

[Maisiethemorningsidecat]

It doesn't sound as if this parent is one of those easily intimidated parents though, does it.

[TheFlyingOnion]

Thanks Fairenuff, am making a note of all of that...

[Trippler]

Well no it doesn't, Maisie.
It is kind of horrific when you know how teachers judge parents, though.
We have teachers in our family. They tell me they've usually worked out what the parents will be like before the first parents' evening.

[TheFlyingOnion]

I think it cuts both ways Trippler

I find that occasionally a parent can throw two terms of good teacher/parent relationship out of the window on the basis of a half heard third hand conversation between two 6 year olds.

That's kind of depressing....

(not talking about any particular parent btw!)

[bumblingbovine]

I don't know how old this child is, but I assume he is old enough to ask him. Why not sit down with him for 10 mins and ask him why. If that question is too general try starting with a specific time when you noticed he he seemed un motivated (don't use that word).

Keep it non- judgemental with something like " l noticed yeaterday that you seemed to be having some trouble with ...., what's up with that" and then listen. Maybe ask some probing questions which are specific to the event you are asking about (avoid general questions like "you seem not to enjoy school") and see if you can get to the bottom of what the problem was that particular time. You may get some clues form that as to the general problem.

It never ceases to amaze me how often teachers, parents and professionals spend ages guessing what a child's issues are but rarely ask the child in a way that they can answer.

[AuntieMonica]

while your thread is still here, OP, what's your subject btw?

[Trippler]

I can see that too.
It's a delicate relationship (the parent/child's teacher one). It's one of the few times when as a professional person approaching middle age, you realise you're very very low in the pecking order
I can sort of see why some parents cannot accept that.

[lljkk]

Does sound like he's viewing school as time off :(.
I have a DC at a private school and a private view that if his teachers there can't inspire him then what am I jolly well paying for? But it's not black and white, I still have a duty to encourage him into a love of learning.

[Feenie]

She's a primary school teacher, AuntieMonica - that would be about 11 subjects!

[TheFlyingOnion]

Primary year 2 Auntie Monica, so I specialise in Star Wars cards, losing your jumper, sitting nicely on the carpet and who took the most paper towels to wash their hands

[cinnamonswirls]

Fairenuff is talking a lot of sense - also maybe look at - does he look tired? How is his hearning? What about his blood sugar?
Have they changed his diet?
Just asking as my ds had a series of horrible viruses and went right off school as was so tired but is back to his usual happy self 18mths on (though with a phobia of illness) and anohter boy I know had something in his ears which one to one he was fine but in rooms with large amounts of background noise he couldn't hear and it was painful.

Who is he sitting with?
Does he play with the people he sits with? Yr 2 again they change initial friendship structures and he might be demotivated if he thinks he is not with people he can talk to or if his friends would prefer him to be stupid and not clever

Plus is he a Visual/Aural/Kinaesthetic learner? He is in.... Yr 2 when K learning begins to be replaced with more V/A learning - most kids not a problem but and doesn't really matter but high on the spectrum it really does and changing skills can really help motivate students

So Health/Social and Learning styles I reckon could be more areas of investigation.

[cinnamonswirls]

Dear Flying Onion pl teach me to rite propa my fingas dunt work after a ard day at skool sinmun

[TheFlyingOnion]

I had a lovely piece of work today about playground rules which included the immortal words " boont bi sili" (don't be silly)

I love my job even though sometimes I can't bear to have the radio on on the way home from work because my headache is so bad...

[TheFlyingOnion]

oh, and what I at first thought said "Be nice to Ecuador!" turned out to be "be nice to each other"

[MarginallyNarkyPuffin]

It's still sound advice

[MarginallyNarkyPuffin]

I would try to find out what his mother is doing with him at home. Is it possible that she's already taught him the stuff he's supposed to be learning so he finds it boring?

[TheFlyingOnion]

indeed... out of the mouths of babes, and all that....!

[choccyp1g]

Presuming the work is interesting, informative, relevant and correctly differentiated Are you sure the work really is all of these things for him?

The parents say he reads at a higher level at home, have you tried him at a higher level? Have they shown you the numeracy that he is doing at home? How does it compare with what you are asking him to do at school?

Or maybe at home he is getting constant 1 to 1 encouragement, which is impossible for a teacher to provide.

[DownbytheRiverside]

I think that if he's working hard at home on academic subjects. with a parent who is motivated and committed to ensuring that his every waking moment is educational and informative, he may be unable to keep that up at school as well.
He's presumably 6. That needs down time and learning without pressure on a regular basis. Which some parents see as parental negligence if it allowed to occur.