I want to send her to a different school. have you ever done it & regreted it?

[Bohica]

DD is in year 2 & since reception she has had on & off problems. I can feel a change in her personality, she looks dispondent & withdrawn & then becomes hyper & imature.
She struggles to form relationships & although I have spoken to the schoool hundreads of times nothing changes & if anything I feel like DD has been labelled "difficult" & left to get on with it.
She no longer receives rewards, stamps, certificates, she used to get them all the time but her enthusiasm to do her work is falling & no-one seems to be picking up on it.

I have the opportunity to move her to a new school in September & just need some reasurance that I am doing the right thing in giving her a fresh chance & not just running away from the issues with the school?

Have you moved your child & if so did it all work out?

[Tinatinu]

Thank you Bohica - I was relying on MN email alert to message me to view a reply to my post hence rechecking to first your reply. Thank you.

I am really happy that you can finally rest your mind re: DD's school and can focus on her happy & progessive learning. And am equally pleased to hear you DD is also enjoying her new school.

One more question what if the school you want your DD to move to is full if/how can you manage to get a place for her and what happens to those on the waiting list. Any idea on would be a priority those waiting on a waiting list or those who have already started school and for one reason to another have to move their child??

Anyone with any insight most appreciated...

[Bohica]

Sammiez fingers crossed your DD's move goes well next week, don't be scared!

Tin I instigated our move as soon as I'd made my mind up that DD needed to move. I looked at other schools in our area & visited a few, all without telling my DD until I found the one I thought was best for her needs and spoke to the teachers and head of the new school.
I then applied for a change of school form with our local council, filled it in, sent it off and waited for them to say yes.

We then arranged for DD to visit and once we were sure she was happy to move my DH phoned her school and told them we were not returning, he out lined some of the main issues we had but tbh the main point was that DD wasn't happy so we had decided to find some where that would make her happy.

Hth's

DD had another great day at school today and was keen to read which is a first in a long time!

[Tinatinu]

I have concerns but I am not sure how to go about the changing schools / to explore this avenue?
How soon can you instigate a move? What do you need to meet ?as it were? to justify your move to another school, as surely your child?s welfare is core ? do you need to justify to anyone most importantly? How does the move work ? do you get to decide which school you?d like your DD to move to?

[Tinatinu]

I have concerns but I am not sure how to go about the changing schools / to explore this avenue?
How soon can you instigate a move? What do you need to meet ?as it were? to justify your move to another school, as surely your child?s welfare is core ? do you need to justify to anyone most importantly? How does the move work ? do you get to decide which school you?d like your DD to move to?

[Sammiez]

Just read through your thread and so glad for you and your dd. Good for you!

Here's hoping all goes well with my DD's change that might happen next week. So scared

[Hulababy]

Glad she had a good first day.

[newtermnewname]

Lovely news

[Bohica]

Just thought I would pop back and report on DD's first day in her new school!

I actually didn't recognise the smiling, happy child that ran at me in the playground this afternoon, I seriously didn't realise she was our daughter until she launched herself at me!

She had a good first day and waved goodbye to a couple of children as we were leaving the playground, DD wants me to take her into the classroom again tomorrow because she doesn't know where to go or who to play with etc but I've told her that will all come in time.

Thank you for all your support on here and the push to take the plunge, early days but I'm very relieved and I hope all your children enjoyed their first day back

[munstersmum]

We moved DS and knew there were one or two friends he would see want to play with still / come across at clubs etc. We told him he was changing schools because every parent wanted the school that would best for their child and we didn't think his old school was the best for him....and different parents preferred different things about each school. We didn't want him sounding boastful about going to a 'better' primary. However, he was overheard at a club telling his coach he had changed schools because there were bullies at his old school. Never mind, so much happier at new school !

[Bohica]

Hi Londoner thanks for your reply, good to get a teachers view on the situation.

DD knows why she is going to a new school because we have spoken many times about being nice etc.

DD starts holiday club tomorrow & I spent over an hour tonight chatting about ways to make a good first impression, seeking other children that were on their own & asking them to play. The thing she struggles with is not thinking before speaking. She just blurts stuff out & can be quite off the cuff with her comments, it's so frustrating, it's like she doesn't have the ability to think about other peoples feelings.

I'm working on it all during the holidays & tbh I hadn't realised how slack her manners have become to busy bloody working So I will definatly have her please's & I would likes instead of I wants in place again by September!

[londoner01]

PS and fab your making the first steps and helping with friendships in the holidays- always makes a huge difference. Sounds like she's really excited about the move too which it great.
What did you tell her? How did you explain why she was moving schools?

[londoner01]

As I primary teacher I would say if it took until you going in for the school to notice and the school STILL hasn't addressed it, then go elsewhere.
I am the kind of teacher who puts my top priority on social success and happiness, and my second priority is academics. The second doesn't come unless the first is all in place because kids priorities are having a good set of friends, and enjoying school, if thats not happening their academic achievement will never be its best.
This is our schools ethos and we are a successful school with good SATs, but it took a new head to turn it around and a lot of years of the ethos before the results were seen. We are a very happy school where the kids realy really matter rather than our results.

If i had a new child in my class moving from another school I would want the parents to be completely honest with me and tell me what had happened in the old school, what went wrong. Then I can from day one make sure I'm monitoring her and helping her settle knowing her past problems rather than two months down the line seeing the same problems and then having to deal with it.
So I'd say definately dont worry about making a bad impression or labelling your child from day one- you aren't labelling your just being a realistic parent who wants the absolute best chances for your DD, be honest with the new teacher and say you think she needs some motiation, a lot of confidence boosting and help forming relationships.

Good luck and I definately think with a fresh start, new challenges and people, as well as a different approach, she should thrive and I really hope it works out!

[Bohica]

Thank you, I agonised over moving her & now I agonising over it being the right decision. I must stop beating myself up over it all!
I picked up her new uniform yesterday so she is now in the park wearing it!!

And we went shopping yesterday & bought new school bags & pens etc, the new school is much more relaxed about bags & uniform so she is enjoying the fact that she can choose these things herself & not have to buy from the stupidly expensive school shop.

I sent a text to a few of her school friends mums today to arrange a few meet ups after work during the holiday so that should help I'm hoping

[DameEdnaBeverage]

Bo don't worry,I am sure you've done the right thing. Fwiw I wished I had moved my ds years ago instead of having all the upset we've had. I kept hoping things would get better instead of worse and now feel guilty about it all. He has left there now and it is a huge relief.
Once dd settles in she will probably be a lot happier and soon forget the old school.All the best for the future.

[bbboo]

Reading through your posts made me sad for your daughter. It is hard leaving a school (especially if you are not moving away)and not immediately starting at the new one, but you have made the right decision . It can be hard but emphasise to your daughter how much she liked her new school and list all the things she said were good about it. We had similar problems with our DS school, and I was cowardly and did not move him. DS is lovely, but can be loud and not always read other people's feelings very well.My husband got another job hundreds of miles away so we had to move. Although DS had not been 100% happy at his old school, he struggled with the thought of moving.But for him, being made to change schools was the best thing that ever happened - he is SO much happier. If he ever stressed at the thought of changing schools we reminded him what he liked about his new school, and planned buying new uniform etc. We told our son that although we lived miles away we could always visit friends, and made a definite date to return to his old school on their fete day (big social event at the school) - this is in May and we moved in October! Having this definite date did help. I know it is different living in the same area but maybe you could do something similar?Maybe return for the nativity / Christmas fair? And remind her that as she hasn't moved miles away she is still near them! Keep the faith - you have made the right decision! PS When it came to May, DS wasn't bothered about going back to fair day as he said he was much happier at new school so didn't need to go back to the other one!

[Bohica]

Why did the message inbetween the faces not post?

Found DD in her room this evening silently sobbing her little heart out & clutching her good luck card from school, she wanted to know if she could change her mind & why was it that once she had told people she was leaving they started being nice to her.

[Bohica]

DD in her bedroom crying her eyes out & hugging her Good luck card.
I told her everything will work out fine & she wanted to know why everyone was so nice to her when they found out she was leaving.



Oh I do hope I have done the right thing.

[Bohica]

We got no reaction from the school this morning when we told them what we want to do.
Nothing.
Proves my point exactaly!!

[Bohica]

I'm pleased to say DD loved it & we will officially tell the school tomorrow morning that friday will be her last day.
My DH is going to call them before school starts tomorrow because the class went on a school trip today whilst DD was at the new school & it will be better for her to be able to tell teachers/classmates the real reason why she didn't go to school today - they went to a sealife centre & DD had told them she didn't want to go because she doesn't like sea animals

I have written a thank you card to her teacher though. I know we have an issue with how she has handled the situation last week but she has taught our eldest for 2 years very successfully & I don't want her to think we are blaming her for moving DD, DD just needs a fresh start & didn't suit the school.
I suppose I want her teacher to know I still respect her position even though she made some wrong choices, I thanked her & said that although I'm disappointed that DD hadn't managed to settle at x school I was still gratefull for her help & support within our years at the school & wished her luck for the future.


Thank you for all your help MN'ers, I honestly don't think I would have made the decission to act on my feelings if it hadn't been for starting this thread. I've um'd & ar'd for 2 years

Wish us luck for September & I hope I can report back happy news like I have read here x

[ThePosieParker]

I was beginning to accept my miserable DS and thinking that was how he was, then for reasons beyond our control he changed schools and was a happy boy again.

[IndigoBell]

HouseOfBoys - yes I moved my 3 kids because of problems with the teaching. They didn't want to go and were happy at the old school.

Once they moved they were even happier at the next closest state school - but taught better :)

Unfortunately I spent a year dithering over the decision because they didn't want to move.......

Cause we live in the catchment for the old school, go to scouts etc, they all still see their old friends - and their new friends.

[houseofboys]

But how many have done it when their child is very happy socially - but you are frustrated with teaching etc? We are convinced DS could do much better - his idea of a good day is not getting noticed in class and he slips into background in class of 30, and we do have option of small private school with 12 kids in class. But he's got some good friends nowand worry about making him settle as he's very quiet. Interested to know how many, if any, people make this choice when their child actively doesn't want to go?

[musey]

I hope the visit goes well and she loves it. I can only imagine how you felt when you found the notes, it made me want to cry for her, bless her. I really hope the change works out and she makes a great circle of friends

[Bohica]

Thank you to everyone, fingers crossed DD doesn't hate the new school on Wednesday.

[lostlady]

Yes, have moved child after similar sounding problems, and has been great, am so glad we did it. Lot of agonising first, but really transformed things for us.