Reception child bad behaviour

[MerryMarigold]

My ds1 was 5 in November. He is in reception. He really struggles with his behaviour in the afternoons and I THINK it is because he's over tired. However, it could be something else. When I say struggles I mean he is very disobedient, doesn't listen, distracts other kids, messes about and gets very silly etc. He does have a slight tendency towards this anyway, but manages to keep it under control in the mornings with a warning. It seems that nearly every day something is going on in the afternoon with him. I went on a school trip with him on Wednesday and saw this behaviour for myself. I was quite shocked. He got a bit hyper after lunch (cheese sandwich and a yoghurt) and then 'crashed' around 2.30, v v tired, then started being really naughty running away from me on train platform, kicking and screaming when I got him back again. He does not behave like this at the weekend, but we don't really start our weekends at 9am, mornings pretty chilled out and then he can rest in pm if we have done something 'big' in the morning, so there's never a time he has a whole day on the go. (We have 2 year old twins as well who nap in the pm, so there is always that quiet time when he's at home).

I'm not sure what the school and I can do to help him. At the moment the school have to isolate him into another class a lot, he is constantly being told off. This seems to be escalating the behaviour rather than solving it. His teacher seems to quite like him (he is a really sweet boy when he is being 'himself'), but I don't think she is very good at handling that extreme behaviour in the pm.

Any help would be v much appreciated. I am tearing my hair out!

[MerryMarigold]

girliefriend, don't count on it! It's getting lighter earlier too. Don't know about your dd, but my ds is definitely a child who holds stuff in. I try to talk about these bad feelings but he only mentions them when he is having a complete crying breakdown (happened twice) and refuses any other time. He is not, and never was, one of the kids that cried when I left him, but he is very sensitive and it just comes out in all these other ways...

...thanks for the advice. I'll try and fix the things I can (lunch, relaxation time), other stuff like how to help him talk about feelings or express anger etc. is going to be difficult. Not sure whether it's separation, he seemed ok till January (a bit wriggly when supposed to be sitting still, but not unmanageable). My only comfort is that kids can turn around so quickly that you wonder if there ever was a problem. I just hope he isn't labelled in school.

[girliefriend]

Also since dd has started school she has started waking up earlier and now I am just waiting for the clocks to go forward so that it should sort itself out!!!!

[girliefriend]

agree with the seperation issue thing, they are still so little bless em (i've also got a 5yo who has had lots of problems with her hearing and snoring!!!)

Can he draw pics of his 'bad feelings' or play them out with his toys. I think its really important you tell him his bad feelings are o.kay and its normal to miss mummy. Also with my dd I did try some anger mment techniques like recognising when she is getting stressed and sitting quietly somewhere, or even hitting the floor if she is really cross!

Although my dd bit another child last wk I was mortified as Ive never known her hurt another child before!!! In her defence she was playing 'sharks' !!!

[mumof2girls2boys]

Well he didn't really miss me but the younger 2 kept saying they missed him so I outright asked do you miss the little ones and he said yes, I spoke to his school and we came up with the mid day lunch meet. It only took a term and he was saying don't come eat lunch I can do school on my own now. He has always been sensitive so I guess he had seperation issues over the others playing when he wasn't, seeing them mid day made it ok as it was then 2 blocks of not seeing them rather than 1 giant one

[MerryMarigold]

Thanks girliefriend. Maybe I should try the hearing thing. Probably a trip to the GP just to rule out any deficiencies/ hearing/ sight maybe.

Haven't noticed snoring.

I've tried the half an hour earlier but he got up earlier and also doesn't see his Dad at all then (he gets in at 7pm), which generally seems to make him unhappy.

Mumofgirlsandboys - how did you figure out it was because he missed you? He refuses to talk about school or what gives him these 'bad feelings' that make him misbehave (he has talked about having these feelings, but can't explain why).

[girliefriend]

Has he had his hearing checked? Sometimes this can lead to over tiredness and bad behaviour, does he snore? Might be the quality of his sleep is not that good.

He is still little and it does seem a shame that he is already getting 'labelled' I would try puting him to bed half an hr earlier to see if that helps.

[AddictedtoCrunchies]

DS was waking earlier and earlier so I started putting him to bed later. He now starts wind down around 6.45 and is in bed by 8. You could try that?

He's now sleeping until at least 7am.

I second the rest time in the afternoon. Surely the teacher won't mind if it means he's happier and calmer?

[mumof2girls2boys]

If you book an afterschool appointment (phone up) can they not get the TA to look after you little ones whilst you talk, our old school has done that for us in the past when I had 3 under 4. It may also be that he misses the twins, I know that was the reason our DC3 played up when he first started so we went in at lunch with the younger 2 and sat as a family to eat then left and he was a lot better

[LizaTarbucksAuntie]

eating is a big deal with littlemad's behaviour same sort of age.

If he doesn't eat his lunch he is a terror. He has sandwiches and I give him the sandwiches I know he will eat and some cheese. I also make sure he eats a big breakfast.

He will get there, try not to stress too much.

[MerryMarigold]

Hi. Thanks for this. Good idea about the mat. Teacher is approachable but not v good listener. Difficulty is I am picking him up with 2 2 yr olds every day, so hard to talk. Need to fix childcare and a proper meeting I think. He was out of class AGAIN today. I only find these things out if I ask. I wasn't even aware there was a problem till just before half term, but it has been going on a while apparently. At parent's evening last week she said he was a lot better and that it was just because January was unsettling (new kids coming in), and v long half term.

Well, he goes to bed at 7.30pm latest (ie. asleep by then). He goes to sleep very quickly. He wakes at 6, and it tends to get earlier and earlier the worse his behaviour gets at school (stress?). Just before half term, it was becoming 5-5.30, so no wonder he is shattered by 1pm. Not sure how to solve that, would much rather he slept 7.30-7, but can't seem to get that extra hour in. He was napping until he was 4, and after nursery would just chill on sofa in pm, so I think perhaps he is not coping with length of school day.

Lunch - we get free school dinners for all kids in our area, so he has that, but just not sure how much he eats. Think we will try packed lunches next week, so I know what/ how much he's eating. Shame to lose the freebie and have hassle of making lunch, but if it helps if will be well worth it.

[blackeyedsusan]

could he have more lunch? / snack at afternoon play to fill him up a bit. ( if it improves his behaviour the teachers might be willing to try?)

more sleep at home?

quiet time as suggested in the classroom.

dd(4) stropps at home time , with me fortuntely, but recovers once she has had a banana.

[maxpower]

What's his sleeping pattern like at home? Does he need a change to his bedtime?

[mumof2girls2boys]

my mums school had a child like this, they used to just get a little mat out, give him a book and tell him to go rest a while in the afternoon in the corner of the book area. Worked for him and by the end of a couple of terms of doing this he was ready to rejoin the class for the afternoon. Is there a way you could suggest this to the teacher? Is she approachable?