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How do you deal with your child self harming

4 replies

scoobiedoobiedoo · 11/03/2020 18:36

My DD is 12 and we have discovered today she has carved the word shit in her ankle and has been cutting her arm. Tomorrow we will call the pediatrician hopefully we can get an appointment in the afternoon ( I am in Germany). She says she is stressed at school, i understand this as they put a lot of stress on children really young in Germany and she has to do well this year to continue in the right stream to go to University. German is her third language and she is worried about how well she has to do next year. Plus she has been having problems with some of her classmates, she said she has felt depressed since the start of January and started hurting herself at the end of January. I feel devastated, I am so worried about her and don't want to leave her alone.

Part of me thinks the depression could be partly due hormones she started her periods in November and has already had at least six.

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Socalm · 11/03/2020 19:20

I don't know the right answer, but in your shoes I would take her out of school and tell her health is the most important thing and she's not allowed back until you're sure she's okay. While waiting, she can go for walks and read books etc. talk to her grandparents if there are any. Do baking. Like, exams and university matter, but you can delay them as well or do something else if you want.

Lordfrontpaw · 11/03/2020 19:24

In the meantime I would give her something else to take the stress and frustration out on - maybe it’s a pillow and a rounders bat, kick boxing or a huge roll of bubble wrap.

Let her know that whatever she does academically doesn’t matter as it can’t be at the expense of her happiness and health.

Children need to feel safe, supported and have an even boring home life (regulated, calm and relaxed). It sounds as if school is stressing her outta a time where hormones are doing their worst.

I hope you get to see a child psych soon.

Snowy111 · 11/03/2020 19:28

Walking with the family sounds good. Also active involvement in family life, doing jobs, cooking, board games, watching TV together. Give her a sense of belonging and purpose.

scoobiedoobiedoo · 12/03/2020 16:45

Thanks for your responses, we saw the Paediatrician today and have the number for a child Psychologist and child Psychiatrist just waiting to here back from the Psychologist, the Paediatrician also said my dd can call him and make an appointment any time just to talk or she can email him. My Dd was really scared about her appointment but was much happier after.

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