DD is 10. She had been best friends with a girl in her class from the age of 6, and for years they were inseparable, had the same type of humour, loved the same toys etc.
At Christmas, my DD broke down and told me that she had been having problems with her friend. I had noticed we hadn't seen her as much, and my DD told me that basically from September last year, her friend had been blowing hot & cold. Things like being friends one week, then shouting at her, or excluding her, telling her she was a stalker for trying to be friends etc. Christmas was awful - she was so miserable, and although she has other friends, DD didn't want to see anyone. She had been trying to deal with it herself without telling us.
The rest of the school year played out pretty much the same. My DD and her former BFF apparently agreed to be 'friends, but not BFF', however in practice, the BFF just ignored DD, which I was fine with. There had been a few instances where the BFF and other girls ganged up against DD - a bit of name calling, or picking fault with her - if she ignored it they would start saying 'it's rude to ignore people' and try to twist things so DD would be in the wrong.
So DD is now spending a few days at summer scheme, and the former BFF and the same gang are also there. Today DD came home to tell me that her former BFF accused her of being a bully, and quoted an incident which occurred 3 years ago as proof. (The incident did happen - DD did a thing that wasn't very nice, but she apologised for it at the time.) There appeared to be quite a discussion about it, where DD was told she was a bully and a liar. When DD tried to disengage, the usual 'you are being rude to ignore us' line was trotted out.
It seems to me that the former BFF is seizing on this transgression and rather enjoying playing the victim.
I contacted the scheme co-ordinator, and he has said he will deal with it, however I am worried about her going back to school in 3 weeks time, and that the problem will persist. I want it to stop, and I want to support my DD. I have spoken to her, tried to reassure her and to make her feel loved. We have also been focusing on other friendships, but this is understandably upsetting for her.
Has anyone any advice in how to deal with this?
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I think my DD is being bullied by her former BFF
7 replies
BerylStreep · 03/08/2015 18:57
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