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First bra - very reluctant 12 year old

13 replies

AugustRose · 04/08/2014 20:50

Took DD shopping today but she refuses to try any bras/tops. She currently wears plain white crop tops in age 9-10 which seem fine around the band (28in) but are getting tight across the chest as she has developed quite a bit since we bought them a year ago.

I'm not sure what size cup she would be. As she won't try them in the shop should I just order some online and hope she'll try them at home? She is not girly and hates talking about anything to do with her body and growing up. I would just buy the next size crop but she is going to need support soon and don't know how to get her to listen.

Does anyone make sports bras is that small size?

OP posts:
cathpip · 04/08/2014 20:58

I can remember chatting to a friends dd about a similar problem, I'm afraid I went for the not so gentle approach and told her quite bluntly that her mum was ordering a range of bras and crop tops, she was to try them on and leave mum a note as to which size fitted otherwise she would have saggy boobs around her belly button if she didn't start wearing correct supportive underwear. It worked :)

Bunbaker · 04/08/2014 20:59

DD wouldn't try bras on in the shop, but she did allow me to measure her (using the excellent bra intervention advice from MN) and I bought bras in her size for her to try on at home. Luckily they were the right size.

I'm surprised your DD isn't under pressure from her peers at school to wear a bra rather than a crop top.

micah · 04/08/2014 21:08

You can get crop top bras, which are bra shaped but have a wide underband and thick straps- so are supportive but look like crop tops.

I used to have some from m&s, lacy elastic bra-let things that were shaped and more supportive but still soft and comfy.

You can also get sports tops and bras which are crop top like.

Good compromise? Google crop top bra.

I hated proper bras as a teen, just found them so uncomfortable. I still pretty much only wear sports bras and avoid underwires.

Hulababy · 04/08/2014 21:12

Will she let you measure her at home, using the above method?

Ludways · 04/08/2014 21:15

I refused point blank to wear a bra till I was 17 and then I only wore one if I absolutely couldn't avoid it, I wear one every day now but only out if the house.

I'm 47, bf 2 kids and I still can't hold a pencil under my C cups. Wearing a bra doesn't automatically mean they'll sag.

Ludways · 04/08/2014 21:15

Not wearing

AugustRose · 04/08/2014 23:20

Thanks for the replies, I think I am going to have to be forceful and try to measure her at home - great guide by the way - before ordering her some. I just want her to be comfortable. She is actually quite petite but shapely and as I developed quite soon and was a 34DD by 17 I know how quickly she can grow.

I think I will look for the crop top bra type as I think it's the thought of a proper bra that's putting her off.

Thanks again.

OP posts:
Bunbaker · 05/08/2014 07:17

DD didn't like the thought of a proper bra until the other girls in her class kept asking hr why she was the only one in the class not wearing one. She was in year 8.

OldBeanbagz · 05/08/2014 11:32

DD wasn't keen on bras despite being the only girl in her class not wearing one by the end of Y7 and being more developed than a lot of the others.

I finally persuaded her to give them a go at the start of the summer holidays so that she could get used to it before she goes back in September. I think it helped that her period had just started so she was feeling quite grown up.

I measured her at home and we ordered online as we couldn't get to the shops due to me working full time. She opted for this one.

foolonthehill · 08/08/2014 22:49

My daughter is just coming up to 13 she has very well developed breasts and absolutely point blank refuses to wear anything supportive at all. After months of self flagellation and worry plus lots of heated arguments i decided it is her body and up to her and certainly not something to ruin our usually open and lovely relationship over.

I assume that like Ludways (thanks btw you have given me encouragement) she will wear one when she is ready. in the mean time as she is super sporty and active I buy her thicker than average t shirts and tops so there is not a problem with nipples etc.

Theas18 · 12/08/2014 12:31

Honetly? It's her body, if she doesn't want a bra why try to make her? She isn't going to end up with boobs round her knees or anything, what ever out mothers tried to tell us.

Sporty type crop tops at the moment should keep her happy, nipple covered and comfy.

I did snigger a little at your " being a 34DD by 17 I know how fast they can grow" comment though. Look at the bra intervention threads and I suspect you'd faint in shock. I'd guess she was a 28 C-D at the moment if she has a significant amount of breast tissue. A and B cups are very little breast volume at all.

Lots of the MN daughters are bravissimo gels by 12 with DD plus cups (just because they are getting fitted properly not stuffed into a 32 B in M+S. Never ever take a teen to M+S!)

Theas18 · 12/08/2014 12:34

oldbean have you measured you DD according to to MN bra threads?

The smallest is 32 back and unless she's quite tubby I'd say that was quite big....many MN ladies are in 34s

soddinghormones · 13/08/2014 06:53

Wearing a bra isn't compulsory! I hated how bras felt and only ever wire a sports bra when doing sports, other than that I just wore crop tops. I didn't have large breasts and they were very (ahem) 'pert' so couldn't see any reason to wear one

I finally started wearing one regularly when I got pregnant (at the age of 30..)

It's her body, you've offered to help, so I'd leave it at that

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