11 DD - How often would you insist on showering / bathing?

[dabdab]

She is not very sporty / active, and resists like mad!

[ArbitraryUsername]

I think DS1 needs a shower o wake him up in he morning as much as DH and I do. He's reached the hard to force out of bed stage.

He washes his hair every morning but never rinses the shampoo out properly and then pretends to dry it with a hair dryer. I say pretends because the hair dryer runs but his hair doesn't seem to get dryer.

[ArbitraryUsername]

I've been making DS1 shower daily for the past 2 years (he's now 12). I've issued him with a suitably garish looking anti-perspirant to put in his PE bag now too (after showers he just uses what's in the bathroom whatever's on offer in the supermarket and smells of as little as I can find). He says all the boys have deodorant but that none of them actually use it after PE; they just spray it at inappropriate times. The poor teachers...

[NulliusInBlurba]

Insisting that an 11 yo showers every single day is absolutely neurotic. Are these the same people who also claim that girls 'have to' shave their legs because body hair is somehow unhygenic? Every 2-3 days (with hair washing) is usually fully sufficient with a good deodorant, but straight after doing any sport is also a good idea (and especially straight after coming back from horse riding!). If I feel either of the DDs smell even slightly of sweat I tell them to have a shower and they do so.

And yes, DH and I shower every morning, but that's as much to wake us up as it is to keep clean.

[TapselteerieO]

I think every other day, unless they are particularly smelly, but twice a week hair washing is probably fine (my dd has her hair tied back/braided most of the time, if it looks as if she hasn't washed it properly I get her to wash it again).

[brandnewnickname]

I agree with BackforGood that to suggest that everyone needs to bath shower every day is OTT. Obviously, people vary and I'm sure it is possible to find examples of people who do need to shower every day and will otherwise smell, but I really don't think that applies to everyone. I think every other day is fine for many people. My 12-year-old son has a bath/shower every other day and is not smelly. (Obviously, we use common sense, eg if he's got really muddy playing rugby he'll have an immediate shower, not wait because he isn't due one that day!) Hair regulates itself to some extent, ie if you wash your hair every day you'll probably find it looks greasy if you miss a day, but if you generally wash it every other day then you'll probably find it will go two days without needing a wash.

[sausagesandwich34]

dd has been going through the smelly greasy phase for the last year

I had to be very blunt with her and tell her she stunk with chip pan hair and her friends wouldn't want to sit next to her

very harsh I know but I had spent 3 months trying to get her to shower more frequently and wash her hair properly

she will voluntarily shower and hair wash every 2 days now and if we are out for a special occasion she will shower and wash/straighten her hair

sometimes i will nudge her to have a shower inbetween as depending on what she's been doing, she will moan a little bit that it's not her day for a shower but is in the shower within 10 minutes

I genuinely think they can't smell themselves though

[Gumby]

Every other day for a shower
Hair wash twice a week

[picnicbasketcase]

Every other day minimum but preferably every day.

[AllThreeWays]

Durab - I teach in a girls school, it is specifiic to the yr 7's as by yr 8 they have all learnt about deodorant if not from parents then from each other.
Yes they don't always have time for a shower after PE, but most will spray themselves with something equally as potent
I suspect the problem is that the yr 7's are still so young and some have hit puberty and some haven't so not all parents are ready to embrace bra's, deodorant and other hygiene needs just yet. And the girls themselves, bless them are sometimes oblivious.
Hence my comment that habits should start early, from the parents. A good wash every day, if not a shower, and a mild roll on.

[Arcticwaffle]

I always had the idea that they should have a daily shower or bath as soon as they started secondary. But actually, my dc seem to be late developers, not full of smelly teen hormones at all yet at 12 and 11.

So I do suggest lots of showers and regular hair washing as a very good idea, but I haven't been enforcing it, I do enforce a shower a couple of times a week which is less than I think they really should be doing. . My dc are not naturally keen on washing or being clean or smart, I'm hoping that will come with teenage changes.

[BackforGood]

A couple of times a week is fine.
Some people are completely over the top on here.

[dabdab]

I shower daily because I like to and it wakes me up! This thread is somewhat eye opening - why is it shocking to wash 2x week, Chopstheduck? I was thinking we could start with that since she currently does it 1x week. She doesn't smell, but where I do notice it is her hair - which is thin and tends to get somewhat greasy. We do mention it, and she gets very insulted, but doesn't do anything about it unless strong armed. I can see the argument for getting into the habit.

[NettoSpookerstar]

Daily.
DD went through the resisting phase last year, but is luckily fine with batheing now.
She didn't on Saturday night, but did before we went out yesterday, and then again last night.

[gazzalw]

DS does have to have a shower after PE/games so is left off a shower at home the next morning....

There was a thread not so long ago about younger children and how often it was acceptable for them to have a bath/shower per week. Think however that what is acceptable for a five/six/seven year old is not acceptable for an eleven/twelve (or older) year old... even if they're not going through puberty yet they soon will be and need to get into the habit....

[Chopstheduck]

ds1 is 11 and missed his shower a few days last week due to being mostly in bed wiht a viral cough. I had to cut his hair saturday, and it REEKED! it is horrible, and no way is once or twice a week enough.

[Chopstheduck]

2 x week


Sorry, but she is soon going to be going through puberty! dd is 12, showers daily, except for the odd occasion when we have a pyjama day at the weekend.

I actually agree with bonsoir. If dd was avoiding shower, it would be along the lines of 'your dinner is on the table, you can eat it once you have showered!'

[Durab]

Really ledkr, you don't think at least underarms and genitals in between?

[ledkr]

My dd resists too she spends hours on her clothes and a bit of make up then rocks up ready to go with inbrushed hair and teeth it amazes me. I don't think a full shower is necessary every day though I'd say every other with face and hands in between

[Durab]

Sorry, but IMO twice a week isn't enough for anyone, not even young children. What kind of wash does she have in between times? IME it's much easier to have get them to shower than a proper all over wash. Doesn't her hair need washing? And yes, it's about establishing good habits.

How often do you shower? She's not far away from being an adult physically.

I sympathise (and apologise) AllThreeWays - in the summer DS1 often comes home smelly despite showering every day and being forced encouraged to use deodorant. He says they aren't given the opportunity to shower after PE (yr7) is that right? I remember being forced to.

[throckenholt]

I think we have modern obsession with daily showering. I think most people (especially children) don't need daily showers. Better to get instilled the idea that if you do something very sweaty then have a shower, and otherwise every few days is usually fine.

[dabdab]

And what about hair washing? Do your Dc do that everyday too?
At the moment we do 1x week under my strong 'encouragement'. I was hoping friends might comment, but they don't seem to notice.

[Badvoc]

3 - 4 times a week.
Daily during her period.

[Mominatrix]

Daily.

[gazzalw]

Well DS wouldn't get in every day if left to his own devices but we say that he must - he's not going through puberty yet so not smelly but he does have to be reminded to actually use shower gel as well as the water ;-)......

[ByTheWay1]

Mine showers every other day , if daily, her skin flares up with eczema - seems fine .