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Preschool education

Montessori Nursery/Pre-school

41 replies

Montessorimumblings · 07/12/2007 14:19

Hi,
I need to ramble and get my thoughts written down, any advice welcome.
My three year old boy is starting nursery after Christmas. I am a stay at home mum and am finding the nursery decisions difficult. He was supposed to be going to a nursery nearby and I was initially attracted by the outdoors space and lovely building and nice toys. We;ve attended a weekly toddler group there this term and I became a bit concerned with the strictness of the staff. They told me they encourage use of worksheets even though they are not to according to OFSTED. And they said he absolutely had to be potty trained to attend as they have no facilites for nappies. Anyway, I became a bit concerned about all the discipline and worried about the effects on a 3 year old (he still seems so young). Last week I discovered a Montessori nursery a short drive away that accept his vouchers and have the right mornings that I want. I did a bit of research online and went along for a visit and was really impressed. I think the fact that he will be able to choose his own activities will suit him better as he likes to play with one thing for a long time, investigating every possibility before moving on to something else and the more he is asked to do something, the less likely he is to do it. They seem to run quite like I do things at home, his toys are accessible and I just let him potter around or help me with my jobs. So I think i'm happy that it's a good place for him. But I'm concerned about the fact that Montessori is kind of 'alternative'. If it's so great why isn't every nursery Montessori? Will he find it difficult to move to a mainstream primary school? Will it make him play differently from his other friends that go to mainstream nursery, and will he be percieved as 'different'? I want him to think for himself and be individual but I don't want my issues with disciplinarian methods to ostricize him. Then I get really crazy thoughts that he won't respect authority and wind up in jail....I know, I'm being silly, but I just want to get things right for him, and I am finding it hard to hand him over to someone else.
I've also read about Montessori not encouraging fantasy/imagination. I'm all for a bit of daftness and think it's an important part of childhood. I like some of the steiner philosophies but am not entirely convinced. Does anybody know if you can compensate for the montessori lack of silliness or fantasy by adopting a more steiner approach at home?
Please help me. All the other mums i know don't seem to worry about their mainstream nurseries. Am I just being precious about him?
Any thoughts?

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chankins · 10/12/2007 19:49

If your son is already so indepedent about things then it is definitely the nursery for him ! Both my dds are this way, so being at the montessori has helped them come on in leaps and bounds, they can use scissors easily, were taught a great way to put on their coats themselves, and so on, and they loved this, it made them feel so proud.
As for the religious aspect, I have never come across it at ours, except for at the Christmas play, where they basically peform a fun version of the nativity story, with songs. I was a bit surprised at the time, because you read so much about schools and nurseries not doing anything like this for fear of offending anyone - but I think it was lovely, and helped explain the reasons behind Christmas. There has never been any other bible stories mentioned at all !
As for outdoor play, they go outside twice a day and have loads of equipment and toys out there, plus have regular walks to local parks, visits to museums and fire station etc. Basically, nothing negative to say. And never had a weird reaction from anyone either.

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Ubergeekian · 10/12/2007 18:36

An honorary nephew of mine went to a Montessori nursery and then primary school near York. If the effects on him are anything to go by, it seems wonderful. If I was looking for somewhere for The Boy I'd go Montessori if I possibly could.

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NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis · 10/12/2007 13:38

thats like saying; dont take them to the park to let off steam for fear theyll keeep running about like madmen when they get home.
i think being able to be more independent is more likely to ease frustration than increase it.

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flack · 10/12/2007 13:32

Montessori is very big on independence and practical skills. DS is also very independent, to the point that he tries my patience. But attending the M'sori nursery hasn't made him more so in an irritating way.

Just tell your family you didn't much like the nursery around the corner and the other one up the road seemed so friendly and fun. Those are the things that count, right?

LOL at recycling makes you into a weirdo...

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QuintessentialShadowOfSnowball · 10/12/2007 12:50

No. I dont think Montessori is about creating brats that simply do as they want, but encourage them to progress. Safety is another aspect alltogether.

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Montessorimumblings · 10/12/2007 12:48

i wondered about the montessori method encouraging independence in practical activities. my son already gets frustrated with me because he wants to cook his own noodles/pasta and i can't always let him because our kitchen is so tiny i don't want to trip over him and scald him, and the small amount of worktop we have is usually piled up with crap. Will experiencing his own independance get it out of his system or make him hungry for the opportunity to tidy the knife drawer???????
definitely going now though, will read any responses later today

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Montessorimumblings · 10/12/2007 12:43

they publish a nice ceremonies book too, 'cause you can say and do whatever you want in your ceremony as long as you include the legal 2 or 3 lines. think i sold mine on ebay though. positive thinking.
anyway, i can't believe i'm sitting here while my two kids are asleep, i'm going for a nap. will check up on this thread later though.

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QuintessentialShadowOfSnowball · 10/12/2007 12:40

My son is 2 1/2. He started at a normal private nursery when he was 6 month old. I have recently moved him to a Montessori nursery. He is so happy there, he talks about the staff, and what he is doing, he is always coming home with lots of nice art work, the experience is just so much better. The other thing is that he now has developed a pride in tidying up after himself when he goes from one activity to the next, which is amazing! I think he feels much more valuable and respected as a person, and I am so so happy I made the move. It was btw not an easy decision as my oldest son had been in the old nursery since he was just one. Go for the Montessori.

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NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis · 10/12/2007 12:38

ew, our fridge smelled of fish for ages recently. try a tub of bicarb in there and see if that clears it.

yes, just emailed the humanist weddings in scotland page to dp

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Montessorimumblings · 10/12/2007 12:35

re: humanist wedding ceremonies, are legal in scotland ie' you don't have to do the registry office bit too. but i think they are not yet legal in england unless you have the humanist ceremony in a registered location and possibly need a registrar present so gets expensive.
another tangent, i've been ill all weekend with flu and DH has been in charge..why does the dishwasher smell of fish.??...wish my sinuses were blocked again!

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Lazycow · 10/12/2007 12:32

Ours does parent teacher weeks where the teachers are available at set times (you make an appointment) to discuss your child. They do it every term I think and in those meetings the teacher usually has a written record of what she has observed to refer to.

My nursery don't do anything written on a daily basis other than what they have eaten that day if they have lunch or tea there but they are always happy to have a quick chat or I can always make an appointment if I really want to have a more in-depth talk.

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Montessorimumblings · 10/12/2007 12:32

there seems to be a real demand for it though. but i think it could do with more marketing like a national campaign or making the headlines to let people know they exist.

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NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis · 10/12/2007 12:29
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NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis · 10/12/2007 12:28

oh dont - i know i ought. but am wary of taking on too much for me to handle... and then letting lots of people down if i dont stay the course iyswim.

perfe'ic really

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NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis · 10/12/2007 12:27

contact shoyuld be a combination of all of that. they should always be comfortable to speak to you about your child.

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Montessorimumblings · 10/12/2007 12:27

why don't you start your own montessori nursery if there isn't one in the area? is that a possibility?

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NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis · 10/12/2007 12:25

but yes, i know exactly what you mean!

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Montessorimumblings · 10/12/2007 12:25

i actually had to literally sign up to humanism...really weird thing to have to do, but we wanted a humanist wedding ceremony in a garden in scotland, and it cost a year's subscription too, totally mental. only for a year though. but happier to be humanist without actually putting my name on a list.
with regards to feedback from the nursery, i'm really keen that they get to know my son, how will i know that they are doing this..do they do a written report or do you meet the staff regularly or is it more informal, like a chat when you pick them up?

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NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis · 10/12/2007 12:24

other peoples' prejudices about what you can and cant think about for yourself are, frankly, their own problem.

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NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis · 10/12/2007 12:22

oh lazycow that sounds brilliant!

boo hoo, I want a good montessori nursery

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Montessorimumblings · 10/12/2007 12:21

Thanks for the offer of the books, but no need as my friends mum who is montessori trained is sending them to me already. nice offer though.
Just finished reading a steiner book called 'you are your childs first teacher' by rahima somebody, was very interesting. But don't you think that when you tell people that you are reading up on steiner or montessori that they think you are incapable of reading something and then making informed opinions on something and not necessarily getting swept away with a philosophy. I never see things black and white, it's all grey and confusing.

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NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis · 10/12/2007 12:20

oh yes, i agree with that! but ive decided it cant hurt for them to learn about these 'stories' and 'traditions'... so long as they know (and theyll ask you at some point) that you think its nice enough stories, but certainly not fact, they will prob view it that way too.

thats how my parents handled my CofE education (athiests) and i am a definately an athiest now. prob a humanist too, but im not sure what the term means so im not signing up till i know what im signing!

they will, or should, also learn about other cultures/religions major festivals etc. too. just view it all the same way.

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Lazycow · 10/12/2007 12:20

Absolutle - just say it is a nursery. My parents wouldn't know one type from another.

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Lazycow · 10/12/2007 12:17

I agree nappies. The key for me was really the holistic approach.

I recently had a meeting with ds's main teacher to discuss how he was settling in and what made me so happy and convinced it was the right place for him was how well they seemed to know him - down to his intense dislike of jigsaw puzzles, his middling like of painting/drawing and his extremse love of playdoh and anything modelling related .

Their description of him fitted so well with what I know about him it was a relief.

This was in the context of having removed him from a childminder who seemed to be taking care of a different child to the one I knew.

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NappiesGaloriaInExcelsis · 10/12/2007 12:16

tell yr famil;y its a nursery. they wont know the diff between one type and another, will they?

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