Preschool making son sick

[Deery9may]

I really need some help and advise really as I don't know what to do. My son is 3 he started preschool 2 mornings a week in October and has been doing that ever since (when he has been in) it's a term time only preschool too. The problem is my son is forever poorly not just with a cold or a cough but a virus of some sort that completely wipes him out. I make sure he is 110% before I send him back but within a week we're back to square with this last bout landing him in hospital which made me question this preschool. Also my son has a health issue that needs support this nothing major but this support with help us move forward at home to and I believed the preschool were carrying this out but after a month and a half it turns out they haven't done a thing telling me they are unaware this was the plan when I had gone in for a special meeting to discuss this plan. They never responded very quickly to answer emails or texts when I said won't be in because he in hospital concerned my correspondence wasn't being received I was greeted with an answer of I only work certain hours argh. I asked to look at my sons folder he appears happy and they say he is but the treatment we have received these few weeks are terrible and I wonder if it best to pull him out boost his immune system and look for a new nursery in the mean time. Also I was told I had to start increasing his sessions to use the 15 hours funding as it will prepare him for school when that's not til next sept but as a mum surely it's my choice if I send him for two mornings til he starts school or four mornings to use the 15 hours I just don't know what to do I am so lost

[Naty1]

norovirus can survive i think 2 weeks on surfaces
hand foot and mouth can be in kids poop for a month.
chicken pox can be caught in 15 min face to face.
playing outside whatever the weather is unlikely to help as if a child alrewdy has a runny nose or is sickening for something.
also tiredness will weaken the immune system

[Deery9may]

I have kept him off nursery for 3 weeks now as he was hospital extremely poorly. My son will not have a bowel movement for 3 weeks at time which can prove extremely painful for him and upsetting and that is why we need feedback if he does any bowel movement in pull ups or toilet we unfortunately even need to know what it is like. That's with up to 8 movicol and other medicine but it has taken us 3 years to get to see a consultant as the gps kept saying its normal now the consultant says different. It's through my son folder I have learnt what he has been up to the nursery have offered no feedback at all regards anything not just toilet training. The bugs I understand there about but when it's every week it's crazy for a child only doing two mornings

[madwomanbackintheattic]

I think I might be ignoring the family members, tbh. 'Proven'
What support has your consultant requested for toilet training? (Mildly curious, I have a ds that has the same problem, and we didn't require nursery to be doing anything different tbh). The training was done at home, and we supported with suppositories and movicol-type treatment over a number of years (well into school). When you say 'feed back' are you requiring effectively a tick sheet if he had a bowel movement/ accident/ went to the washroom? That type of thing? In two mornings a week anything they can do is pretty minimal tbh. The onus is definitely on you. He would possibly use the washroom once or twice a week at nursery at the most.

Nurseries are festering germ pits. Snot and slobber everywhere. Even the staff come down with bugs in the first few months of each new term because each kid brings a different flavor of germs in and shares them around. They all collect new versions and go home and share them with their siblings. Small children are very friendly and over share everything, good and bad. Chicken pox. Norovirus. All the good stuff as well as the everyday cough and cold.
That said, sure. As the sun comes out and the winter bugs disappear and you move him to a new nursery, you will definitely feel validated that you made the right choice.

I'm slightly confused as to why you would suddenly decide to move him now that he is healthy and thriving though? It seems a bit, odd.

[Deery9may]

I am not looking for the nursery to train my son all I was asking was them to follow the plan laid out by the consultant I have been training for over 2 months but because of his issues it's very difficult. And I just wanted them to help too and to offer feedback in which they have done nothing making out they are unaware of the situation which is a total lie. So frustrating. As for the sickness it has proven there must be a lack of hygiene there as now I have family members saying oh my goodness your son isn't poorly that is how much of a joke it was becoming. My son has been germ free for three weeks now yippee. He is happier, sleeping so much better at night is contented and well behaved. So the big question is pull him out and find a better nursery

[Naty1]

I think the illness is often so high at nursery due to each child going say 15hrs of say a 50hr week so each session has different children so while the room may only have say 20, each day that could be 40 if most did morn/afternoon.
Plus all the different days ok you dont go all 5 but unless they really clean the room and every toy each child is basically exposed to the total kids in the whole week.
Lack of good handwashing/wiping not knowing in the morning they feel sick etc or being able to communicate it.
Dd has had repeat ear infections is off 1-2w but comes back from every time back with a cold or worse. We are around 70% attendance.
Re the potty training, it is frustrating that they arent listening.

[anewyear]

Agree with insancerre and HSMMaCM.
I have a little experiance, having 2 of my own, in their teens now, worked as a childminder, still do for after schoolers and being a pre school practitioner.

Virus and bugs, your going to be dealing with them in one way or another for a couple or so more years yet, children of this age are still developing their immune system.

We have quite a few few younger siblings from the school next door.
In the last few weeks, we've had a a rather nasty vomiting bug, scarlet fever and a case if mumps in a yr1 child, who has been vaccinated,
oh and the normal head lice..
Please dont get me on to the subject of parents who dose their pre schoolers up on calpol, then wonder why they get a call 11am ish onwards, to come get their child, as their child is really not well enough to be there!!
(It really is not day care/pre school/childminder/school who is making the child ill, its other parents.. now theres a thought!!
And yes, we get that some parents work, however if your child is ill, they need to be at home....and as per most of my collegues (private pre school & MY t&cs as a CM, we dont get paid if we're off work ill..)
As for toilet training, thats down to you.
School holiday are good for this particularly the longer Spring/Summer one's.
However if there are any extenuating conditions, you need to talk to the Manager & Key worker imo and get a care plan put into action.
Its good to talk I think the saying goes, and then an email/letter covering what was spoken about.

Sorry thats quite an essay, might seem harsh, however both subjects a bug bear of mine, and my own opinion, for what its worth.

[HSMMaCM]

Children do pick up a lot of bugs one after the other when they start pre school. He doesn't have to go at all if you don't want him to. Presumably he has 2 weeks off over Easter, so you can do toilet training then and that will be sorted. If there is a specific medical need they should be addressing, then that needs to be explained to them again.

[insancerre]

But it doesn't take a month and a half to toilet train
It takes less than a week
I'm sorry if I've not the understood what you have been saying, but do you think that might be the problem? Are you clear enough when dealing with the nursery so they know what you want?

[Deery9may]

I think I have been miss understood here I don't want them to toilet train only to enforce wot I already doing at home

[Inkymess]

And isn't he only there 2 mornings? I'm not sure what they are expected to do in that time. They will be reminded to go to the toilet?

[GastonsPomPomWrath]

They will 'help with toilet training' by enforcing what you're doing at home. It's not their job to toilet train him, just to follow your lead.

[insancerre]

Preschool is not there to toilet train your child though
That is down to you

What did you ask them to do to support toilet training?

[Deery9may]

I didn't want them to help with the bowel condition but they were meant to help with the toilet training and they haven't

[insancerre]

I am confused as to what support you are expecting re his bowel condition?

If you are finding it difficult to toilet train have you spoken to them and asked for help?

What is it you would like them to do?

[Genx77]

I don't understand the problem? If you're not happy with care he is receiving then remove him? He doesn't HAVE to go.

[Deery9may]

I just feel let down by them and lied to as they said they were doing something in which they weren't. I understand it's to build there immune system but surely every week is pretty unlucky and it's not just my son it's others mums feeling it too.

[BombadierFritz]

This is building his immune system and unless consultant says otherwise, it is good for him. Its better in a way as otherwise they go thro it in reception and can fall behind. Will they let you continue there for just 2 mornings or are they telling you that you cant do just 2 mornings - they maybe lose money and could give your place to someone else. You dont seem that happy with them so maybe looking elsewhere is not a bad idea.

[IsItMeOr]

I wonder if you are more cautious than average with your son's health, as you have experienced him having an ongoing health problem?

It is the norm to send children in to school/nursery with run of the mill colds. DS was constantly sniffling for about 9 months out of 12 for his first couple of winters (and autumn and spring...) after starting at nursery/school.

Does sound stressful for you though.

[Inkymess]

It's normal for them to go in with slight sniffles etc it's actually good to get all the general winters illnesses out if the way in preschool as otherwise he'll miss half of his reception year being ill. Most working parents will only keep them off if they absolutely have to, as the DC need to be in childcare. Often they will only be kept off if high temp and/or D&V or the pox.
I'd send him in as long as he is generally ok.

[slebmum1]

Well DTs were sick for pretty much the whole year of preschool as were most of heir classmates, it kind of goes with the territory. They all went in with low level sickness otherwise the would never have been in.

On the plus side they haven't been ill at all in this reception year so far.

The medical issue is different - what support does he need and is that affecting his immunity anyway?

[Deery9may]

He has a bowel condition has done all his life he has been constipated on and off since birth and we are finally getting help for his condition and it making toilet training extremely difficult they were aware of this when he started and supported us yet they haven't done anything to assist us plus I had yet another face to face meeting yesterday with the manager and key worker and when I asked the key worker for input on DS progress she would look at th manager for him to answer bizarre when she is his key worker. They have told me they are aware that parents are sending children in when they are only 90% well so germs continually being spread I just don't know what to do for the best

[name removed by MNHQ]

[LIZS]

I think you need to separate the issues here.

Children often get viruses when they first start socialising. Does you son's condition perhaps make him more vulnerable? Are you concerned about their hygiene or exclusion policy for illness?

If they won't cooperate with your ds' medical treatment that is a more serious concern. Did you have it documented? Would it fall under DDA or are they lacking training? You probably need to arrange a face to face meeting to reiterate what is required. If no joy then Ofsted may be interested in their lack of inclusion, especially if they claim Early Years Funding.

No you don't have to take up the full 15 hours, nor increase his attendance until school age but some settings do have a minimum attendance policy so that children can join in a range of activities and follow the curriculum through the week.

Tbh it sounds as if you are generally unhappy with the way they operate and communicate and should look elsewhere. Speak to other settings and be upfront about your requirements.

[WipsGlitter]

What is his health condition?

I don't understand the bit about shouting - sorry.

[insancerre]

What condition does your child have?
And why did you need a reply to your text?