Pregnant again after 2 losses; can someone please help me with my paranoia?

[ScaryHairy]

Hello

I have just (a few days ago) found out that I am pregnant again after having an ectopic pregnancy and a chemical pregnancy in March and July.

I'm having twinges - some on my ectopic side - and everything felt very "tight" when I sneezed just now! I also have some backache.

I recall from my last viable pregnancy that twinges are common in the early days, and I know that it is much too soon for another ectopic to be causing me pain.

Can someone please confirm that twinges etc are normal, just to help me put a lid on the paranoia? I have stupidly let myself get excited about this one and it would really help keep me calm until I can get scanned in a week or so.

Many thanks

[foreverafraid]

hello
im so glad for a place i can talk to people who will understand what ive been through ive had two extopic pregnancies and am so afraid of getting pregnant now that i do tests two or three times every month and i cry all the time its been all most nine years but it still hits me really hard i never had any counciling even though i asked for it and never had a chance to greive and am only now managing to come to terms with what happened
x

[RiaRio]

Hi i have been out of hospital 2 days after descovering i had an ectpic pregnancy at 11 weeks i have had to have a tube removed as could not be saved i am a wreck and really sruggling to come to terms with losing my baby,fertility decreased which people keep telling me different n and the pain of surgery please someone give me some advice or just a kind word.x

[Pheebe]

Hi Kitty
I had no symptoms at all with any of the 'normal' mcs. The first thing I knew was spotting that gradually got heavier. The ectopic was different. I'd had a normal but light period and then went off on hols. Pain started when DH and I had sex then I started to bleed. Having no idea what it was I flew back home as planned before doing a test and going off to hospital.
As for being strong, I don't know about that, determined perhaps and DH was such a huge support. Its the first mc that lives with me, the others I just see as false starts. I think its a protective mechanism because if I went down the line of really thinking about it, it would probably break me. I didn't truly relax in either of my full term pgs but then I don't think any mum does.

[lydiathetattooedlady]

havent read all responses but just thought id say i was taken in to hospital at very early stages of pregnancy (5 weeks) with suspected eptopic-turns out i was severely constipated! HTH!

[newbishad]

Scaryhairy

I think I may have written to you before. good luck with the pregnancy. I had 2 ectopics and then a normal pregnancy after IVF. I fully understand why you are anxious after what you have been through. I was as well (and I had a lot of pain similar to my ectopics). I ended up in the gynecology ward on the first week of my pregnancy. They scanned me and were able to tell me I had an interuterine pregnancy. DD is now 3 months.

Good luck and best wishes

NS XXX

[kittyDug]

Hi Pheebe,

Hope you don't mind me asking, Did you have any pain leading up to those m/c's? I had 2 m/c's and now 6 weeks p/g again. I have the same type pain again but don't know if it is just the normal p/g pain. darting vaginal pain coming and going. Glad to hear you were so strong dispite having 8 m/c's. Don't know if I could face that, it's so difficult even having 2 m/c's. I'm a nervous wreck, finding it very hard to relax about it this time.

[Pheebe]

Hi Soctlass
Sorry I went off to bed last night.

I can indeed inspire you, I had 3 mcs then an ectopic then conceived ds1 then had 5 more in between him and ds2 who is currently chewing a shoe! My first mc was at 11 weeks and was the most traumatic and the one that lives with me every day. The others were all early (6-7 weeks) and fortunately for me didn't require any medical intervention and were more like heavy periods.

There is always hope, don't give up, the fact you can conceive is a good sign. Have you had any tests yet? I had my thyroid checked and the blood clotting issue checked out. I concevied ds1 straight after they were shown all clear so didn't have to go any further.

Hope that helps

[scotlass]

Pheebe -sorry to hijack op - can I ask you, were your sons born in between your mc's or after you had the 8 and ectopic? I think I'm having my 4th mc in a row (am 6+3wks and has some fresh bleeding). Beginning to give up hope but I hope you can inspire me.

Hello scary am with you on knicker checkers and trying hard not to make everyones paranoia worse. It's worse than torture pg after mc isn't it!

[Pheebe]

Glad you're feeling better scary

Just browsing about and wanted to share my experience. I've 8 mcs and an ectopic. Only the ectopic hurt and that was a stabbing pain, with the others the bleeding was the first sign of a problem.

I also have two healthy boys both asleep upstairs, with both of them I had lots of discomfort, period-type pains, low back ache and generally twinginess. So for me all those things were good signs.

[kittyDug]

I just want to join this thread, have already joined the knicker checker one!! Think I'm going a bit mad too.... I had 2 m/c's in the last year so I'm a nervous wreck also. I have being having the same darting vaginal pains as I had during last 2 m/c's. I just hope that these pains were not connected to the previous m/c's. In my head they are but they could also have been the pg progressing. The first m/c was at 5 weeks and the next was a mmc at 7 weeks with no hb.I had 2 hcg tests done in the past week and it is increasing which I suppose is good. it's so difficult to stay positive (as you all know)if youve been there, I have another scan on Tuesday week, had one last Tues but could see no sac as it was too early, I have a 32 day cycle so this is also putting me 4 days behind... time is going soooooo slow.

[ScaryHairy]

It seems to have gone away today so I reckon the stretching theory is right.

Thanks again for all the reassurance.

[becaroo]

I had two losses last year too and am currently due in 4 weeks....I still dont really beleive it and dont think I will til I actually hold my baby.

I also had those sharp pains all the time early and it was fine - I think its your ligaments stretching?

[ronshar]

Congrats to you Scaryhairy. It is always a very hard time when you first find out you are pregnant after MC. I had two MC last year and am now 33+5.
Do come and join us on the knickerchecking thread. There are a few ladies in the very early stages of madness so you will be in very good company.

[tinkcantwaittofindoutboyorgirl]

hi scary hairy congrats great news
i am sure that all will be well this time

[tsom]

I mean a good sign not godd!

[tsom]

I had an ectopic at 5.5 weeks in my first pregnancy, none of my next 5 (some were mc plus ds 1 and 2) have been ectopic but have often had similar pain on my ectopic side - I think maybe I have some scar tissue there which gets scretched as things grow in early pg. The pain was mainly in my back with ectopic and became constant, abdo pain was very sharp but aches in subsequent pregnancies have been well aches really.

They can scan you at 5 weeks to see a growth sac but they prefer to wait until 6 weeks to see a hb, always seemed a bit silly to me if your main concern is ectopic.

Hope all goes well, agree clear positive preg test is a godd sign, with my ectopic it was v.v. faint when 2 days late.

Would recommend knicker checkers thread.

[TillyScoutsmum]

Aches, pains, twinges etc, all perfectly normal. I had dd after 2 mc's and can remember the constant paranoia .
Fingers crossed its third time lucky for you. Congratulations

[EllieG]

here 'tis

Is natural to worry, but that doesn't mean you've got anything to worry about. Aches and pains v normal. Have a good rest x

[ScaryHairy]

Thanks Ellie.
I do mostly have a good feelign about this one.
It's just that when I am tired the paranoia sets in, and the aches get worse! Speaking of which, it is past my bedtime these days so thanks again for the reassurance and goodnight.

[EllieG]

Have you seen the knicker-checkers thread? I think it is still out there - will try and find and link for you. Is for people who are PG after MC. Helped me loads.

Congratulations too! Hoping you have a boringly normal and uneventful pg x

[Aitch]

you're welcome. oh gosh i hope it all goes well for you.

[ScaryHairy]

Oh, and thanks for the whispered congratulations. I actually started the May 2009 Ante-Natal group today, which may have been jumping the gun a little but I want to get excited about being pregnant like a normal person!

[ScaryHairy]

Thank you. I just get nervous because I did not have any pain at all with the ectopic (well, maybe some backache when I had what I thought was my period but nothing "classic" - my ectopic was quite odd).

But hey, I am really tired, my boobs do hurt, and pregnancy tests are very clear positives instead of the wierd test results I had with the other two. This one at least seems standard so far...

[Aitch]

NOTHING can stop the paranoia after two losses, scary. but i can tell you that after two ectopics i got pg again and suffered classic ep pain, terrible hcgs, nothing on scan etc etc etc and it was dd. all you can do is wait. i got pg again after dd... had all the same twinges but this time because i knew i'd had dd it didn't feel so frightening.

congratulations.

[PanicPants]

When I was pg with ds, I had a scan at 6 weeks as I had had an ectopic preg previously. They couldn't find anything at first so did a vaginal scan, and did find a very minute ds and could identify a flicker which was his heart beating.

So quite early really.

Good luck and hope it all goes well x