Breastfeeding...

[cloudydays7]

Hi all...just wanting to ask peoples opinions about this. Did anyone just not want to breastfeed? I just cannot see this being something I would want to do. My older sisters never breastfed (so my thoughts may have come from them?)
I am aware that breastfeeding is best for your child however I do not want to feel pressured into doing so? Also, if you did not breastfeed, what then happens to your milk?

(Sorry I did post this in another thread but didn't get many responses and I am just curious to know)

[lc86]

@cloudydays7 my milk took weeks to dry up, so everyone is different xx

[lc86]

@cloudydays7 I didn't breastfeed my first two, my youngest is 7 and now being pregnant again I'm desperate to breastfeed. It's a personal choice and don't let anyone make you feel bad for whatever you choose for you and your baby xx

[lemonsquashie]

[quote bleachblondemom]@lemonsquashie That is good advice. I did a baby feeding class that taught me so much about both BF and FF, but learning about making bottles, sterilising etc was what gave me the confidence to choose FF. I’m so glad I did that class and learned properly about both kinds of feeding.[/quote]
I didn't learn about FF at all and that's the main reason I kept Up the BF

My advice: learn how to make up a formula bottle, learn and work out a plan/ how to make it up when you're out and about. Get a flask for boiling water etc

And most of all! Get some of those pre made bottles for the early days. They were a life saver

[bleachblondemom]

@lemonsquashie That is good advice. I did a baby feeding class that taught me so much about both BF and FF, but learning about making bottles, sterilising etc was what gave me the confidence to choose FF. I’m so glad I did that class and learned properly about both kinds of feeding.

[lemonsquashie]

Lots of women don't want to and choose not to

Don't be swayed by the BFM (breast feeding Mafia )

It's your choice

I breastfed my baby. It was hard. I never expected it to be so hard. It's a massive
Ball (tit) ache that you can do without when you've just given birth. It caused me a lot of distress and anxiety in the early days

Having said that, after a week of blood sweat and tears, I got it. It then became the easiest thing in the world.

Make sure you know what you're doing with formula, bottles, sterilising before baby comes. Be prepared. I wasn't as I assumed BF was the easiest option

[nancybotwinbloom]

I didn't want to.

I found it difficult. Inverted nipples that I didn't know I had! Plus I have small nipples.
I had some help from the nhs breast feeding team who were great.

I felt pressured to do so by my DH at the time.

I did breast and bottle.

I'm glad I did actually. I only have my Dd. Biologically. I did it for six weeks then I got a cold sore and I stopped.

I didn't produce enough milk to express. I didn't seem to produce enough milk to breast feed exclusively.

I didn't really enjoy it if I'm honest. It was nice to get the bond but I don't think that bond was stronger or weaker because of breastfeeding.

It is what it is. Some people take to it, some children do, some don't.

Just go with what you feel is my advice.
Neither option is right or wrong

[showmeshowme12]

@DeeandraReynolds

I'm so shocked that doctors would say that! Half my family are doctors of one variety or another and, although some are extremely dubious about the "breast is best" message, they would NEVER discourage a happily breastfeeding mother! Terrible.

I've made four official complaints to my doctors surgery for commenting on breastfeeding which their guidelines and WHO clearly states what it states and it was never medically relevant to why I went to see them.

Any who this doesn't help OP

But just more education for everyone would be nice

[DeeandraReynolds]

I'm so shocked that doctors would say that! Half my family are doctors of one variety or another and, although some are extremely dubious about the "breast is best" message, they would NEVER discourage a happily breastfeeding mother! Terrible.

[showmeshowme12]

That she should be drinking cows milk as soon as she turned 1, that she's too old especially after 1, that's she's doing it for comfort only and I'm make a rod for my own back, that she ll never sleep until I stop breastfeeding, that I'm making it harder for myself if I need medication....... the list goes on.

She's almost two and still boobing although I was done about six months ago

[DeeandraReynolds]

@showmeshowme12

Every negative comment I've had is from medical professionals, not so much health visitors but drs and nurses

what?! Why???

[showmeshowme12]

Every negative comment I've had is from medical professionals, not so much health visitors but drs and nurses

[DeeandraReynolds]

I got nothing but praise for breastfeeding my DS after 6 months. Never a negative comment. One yuck face from some stupid man when I fed dd in front of him, but tbh, I think he was doing an exaggerated ugh face to prove to his wife that he wasn't staring 🙄.

[showmeshowme12]

I would have liked more education whilst I was pregnant even though I knew I wanted to breast feed and bottles were not even an option I wanted to explore, but more education around breastfeeding would have been nice.

I think more education, and mums to be exploring that education would be great as we do have terrible numbers and attitudes to breastfeeding and those who do, an especially after 6 months get treated like the breastapo

[DeeandraReynolds]

Oh I'm sure that made all the difference. Before that, all these women on MN didn't think about considering the wellbeing of the human beings they grew in their uteri. Thank fuck you were here .

[wheresmymargharita]

Christ. I specifically did NOT say breast was always best, or dictate what others should do.

I just suggested that they consider their own baby's perspective rather than just what they themselves fancy.

[DeeandraReynolds]

But breast isn't always the best thing for babies either. How many times do you hear on here where mums have felt they had to continue breastfeeding when they were actually not managing and their baby wasn't thriving, but they ploughed on because "breast is best", or people who end up exclusively pumping, sometimes with relative ease, but sometimes where it means they actually lose out on some time with their baby when they could be bonding? Yes these are relatively rare things, but surely formula is better in these cases, or at least it isn't a clear case of breast being best. For me, it is only best as long as it really is working for everyone involved.

And obviously, babies, cannot easily communicate their wishes. So really it always comes down to the mother's choice.

And you're right, you have no business telling people how to feed. If a bottle feeding advocate popped up and told you your baby was being under fed and that you were using your baby for your own satisfaction and that babies don't want to be breastfed, you'd rightly be absolutely furious and you'd, rightly, have the backing of pretty much any HCP and most of the general public too.

You have no business speaking up for babies or telling women what THEIR babies want. None whatsoever. And I say that as someone who 100% committed to breastfeeding both my dcs. Unfortunately with dc1 it didn't work out for long, but that was down to some serious medical problems in both of us where it was quite literally impossible to breastfeed or even express, not through lack of wanting to give it a go. So we probably have similar views on how we wanted to feed our babies, except you believe your experience gives you the right to coerce and dictate to other women, whereas I don't. And you'll get support on here too, because breast is ALWAYS best apparently.

[wheresmymargharita]

@DeeandraReynolds I agree with you regarding the position of privilege we're in. Very happy to accept also that there are pros and cons to all feeding methods. I just found it very upsetting to read that people would just dismiss how beneficial and important BF might be to their babies simply because they "don't fancy it". This perspective made me want to speak up for the babies a bit!

I then only talked about how healing and positive BF was for me because people equated what I said with martyrdom for the sake of the
baby and quite rightly point out that mum's mental health can't be expected to be sacrificed. So I just wanted to say, as other PP have too, that it's not as simple as BF = mental health sacrifice; it can also be the exact other way around, meaning it might be worth waiting and seeing how it actually feels.

So I guess my overall view would be that, in my view, given all the well-known benefits, we owe it to the babies to at least be open to trying and seeing how it goes, even though if it ends up not working out or there are overriding reasons to want to stop (for example mental health), then surely there should be no judgement whatsoever.

Of course no-one gives a monkeys what I think of their feeding choice, why would they, and I don't care what other mums do either - I just think every mum should care about their baby's perspective a little more than "just not fancying it".

[DeeandraReynolds]

Great post @Somethingsnappy.