What do you wish your partner knew about the realities of pregnancy?

[KElise]

I am interested in what you ladies wish your partners knew or understood better during your pregnancies. For example my partner constantly makes jokes about how often I go to the fridge but he doesn’t understand these cravings! Ladies this is your time to vent!

[greentreesdream]

Yep the exhaustion and the sickness.

And also I hate saying this because it makes me sound precious but physical contact. Sex makes me feel horrendous as I feel big and as if I’m being crushed. I don’t want my hand held. It’s sweaty and uncomfortable. I don’t want to be hugged and kissed as his stubble is irritating to me. God I sound awful

[Sowalk]

Not understanding how sick, tired and sore I feel! The big thing is I get awful hayfever and can't take any of my medication. He loves sitting outside bylut with the insane pollen count I'm trying to hide from it as much as possible. He just doesn't get why and I think he thinks I'm being dramatic! I'm not! I just constantly want to claw my own nose of right now!

[FoxtrotSkarloey]

How fucking tiring it is, and that every millisecond tidying up crap and running around the house because he's left yet another task unfinished is a millisecond less than I could be sitting on the sofa.

To be fair, he's brilliant with toddler DS, but he just doesn't think things through! Did I take DS' nursery bag upstairs last night for shits and giggles? No, it was because DS' clothes were changed at nursery yesterday and new spares needed to be put in the bag. Did it even occur to him to wonder why the bag was upstairs when it isn't normally? No, of course not. He just brought it down this morning with the same contents which was 'being helpful'. And I'm the bad guy when I get grumpy.

FFS. I'm hot and tired and fed up of being the backstop default for making sure everything happens that needs to.

[Shefliesonherownwings]

DH has been largely wonderful and understanding for both my pregnancies. However when I was dying on the sofa with nausea with my first, I didn't appreciate his suggestions that getting up and going for a walk or a swim might help. I had to be very firm that I literally could not move my head without retching let alone go for a bloody walk.

This time I've felt much more tired and needed regular naps. He started saying that I should be careful and try to stay awake as I wouldn't sleep at night if I napped. I don't sleep at night anyway! My hips hurt, my hayfever means I can't breathe and I'm up and down on the loo every sodding hour anyway so if I can get an hour or two in the afternoon I'm damn well going to. He leaves me alone now.

[flossiegrippiter]

DH is lovely and very supportive but if I have a moan he tries to problem solve and come up with solutions when all I want him to say is yeah it must be shit for you! I know he's being nice and I'm being unreasonable but it gets on my nerves

[Babyshine2020]

I don't mean to be so grouchy/bitch - it's not intentional and I don't actually realise in the moment ..

And I know I seem to be sleeping loads (well 11-7 and maybe a nap in the afternoon ) but I can't help it. I'm up to pee loads and I don't plan on napping, but if I stop and sit down for half an hour with nothing todo I will switch off..

[Indigogirl88]

How it's hard to feel sexy now. And that I cant shave properly anymore let alone find the energy to do make up or hair, and I'm ftm and have nearly no excuses!

[Gin4thewin]

The constant pain of SPD from 8 weeks and the sheer agony of rolling over in bed. That im not just moaning it hurts for the sake of it and how exhausting not sleeping because of it is

[Yellowbeansontoast]

Probably just how self-conscious my changing body makes me, it really doesn't help pointing out my huge boobs all the time

[MumMrs85]

All of the above! Also, just how much changes for me and not him. Being pregnant is on my mind for every minute of the day, what I can do, what I can't, what I can eat, all the worries and anxieties and being totally out of control of your own body. It's like they only remember when you remind them. How they casually drink a glass of wine and move about with ease

[crazychemist]

The sickness. How moving makes me throw up in the evenings - I really need him to step up and do more! How bloody unhelpful it is to say “I thought it would be better by now” and “but you’ve got your tablets now” when I’ve got my head in a bowl AGAIN or can’t bear to open the fridge to get milk for DD.

[Char2020]

For me it’s the exhaustion when I know sometimes he thinks I’m just being lazy. Some days I don’t move from the sofa until the evening and have naps during the day and get a few comments but overall he has been pretty good.

He also moans sometimes that I don’t eat dinner anymore or skip meals saying I need to make sure I feed the baby..... I don’t think he understands that there is not much room in there anymore so it’s all about small and often rather than the big dinners we used to eat. He gets offended because he thinks I don’t like what his made

[MrsStavrum]

“You seem to be finding it harder this time round” As if it is my fault. Well I didn’t have a toddler to run around after, a shielding husband and a full time job to juggle!

[BabyB19]

When I say 'I'm really tired today' and he says 'yeahh me too' errrm no pal, you don't even KNOW what tired is, frig off.

[biscuit13]

Having said all that I feel like I'm not giving DH enough credit, he is being wonderful, always asks if I need anything, taken over doing the cat litter tray, gives me a back rub every day to stop my lower back getting sore :) cant complain really!

[biscuit13]

Definitely the nausea! My god, it was like having the worst hangover ever but all day every day, for weeks and weeks. I couldnt even have a shower without retching. Husband didnt get it at first and told me that i should just try "doing something" to "take my mind off it". I think a few weeks in he started to understand how bad I was feeling. 🙈 although words cant even describe it!
Oh and the other thing is the mood swings... I really cant help it if I snap at him sometimes because I'm just really mad or upset over the smallest thing.

[CoalCraft]

Fair play to dh, he has been wonderful. Been very understanding of my need for naps, hasn't griped at changing the menu for my new food preferences (he is primary cook) and had taken over doing the cat litter even though I got disposable gloves specifically so I could keep doing it. Only thing I wish he'd get is that he's still allowed to initiate things in the bedroom 🙈 He assumes I "won't be in the mood" and waits for me to start things when sometimes it'd be nice to be asked!

[happygolucky6]

How saying "you're fed up now" isn't helping. Yes I am. Sooooo fed up.

How saying "it's the hormones making you emotional" it could be. It could also be the exhaustion I'm feeling from no sleep.

How telling me my stretch marks look really really sore and maybe if I tried a different cream they wouldn't have arrived. (He's lucky he's still alive)

Telling me I shouldn't need the toilet because I've just been... I know!!!!!!! I wish I didn't have our child using my bladder as a bouncy castle!!!!!

Overall my partner has been amazing. He's asked if there's anything he can do etc to help. But they're just so clueless aren't they. 😂😂😂😂

[CouscousEvaporator]

How it feels to be kicked in the bowels. No one warned me of this. So unpleasant 😂

[Spanneroo]

The exhaustion in first trimester is due to a massive increase in your blood volume so you have less oxygen to go around and you have had no time to acclimatise.

I was STARVING hungry with DD2 and OH would be late back from work sometimes, delaying dinner and I would be absolutely raging that he didn't text ahead. He just thought I was being grumpy.

[Icouldstillbejoseph]

@eandz13 we are actually growing a whole new human! Pisses me off so much like this is treated as something that wouldn't make you tired!

[eandz13]

How tired you are in the first trimester. 3 pregnancies now my partner has thought I was milking the exhaustion from 6-12 weeks because "it's so small, how can you be so tired, theres barely any strain on you yet". It's really difficult to explain to a bloke that it's the hormones that exhaust you, not just the added weight and aches.

[MooChops89]

Similar to PP about the exhaustion and laziness, but today particularly - that it's normal to be hormonal and emotional and I'm not just being a moody cow! I'm 39 weeks and so fed up, can barely move, keep thinking things are happening and then they don't, so when I said this morning "I feel miserable today", it's not helpful to say "yeah I can tell". A bit of sympathy wouldn't go amiss!!

[Iminaglasscaseofemotion]

Found, not cited 🤦

[Iminaglasscaseofemotion]

I guarantee if men were the ones that had to carry babies they would have cited for all pregnancy symptoms.