*Trigger warning* Here we go again...

[Frazzlerock]

We have just found out last week that I'm pregnant again.

The past 4 years we have been TTC on and off which has resulted in 3 MMC at 9 weeks and 1 spontaneous MC at 4 weeks.
Our last baby died in January this year and I'm still grieving and emotionally recovering from surgery. We are still waiting for the test results. Our sweet baby took us a very long and painful year to conceive (PCOS)

Since then we have actively been avoiding pregnancy. Following my app which predicts ovulation. I had no worries as I don't conceive easily, even when it's timed perfectly cycle after cycle.
I was booked to have a copper coil fitted at the end of April
But in true Sod's Law fashion I randomly ovulated early (never happened before, it's always late if anything) and fell pregnant. I even took the MAP when my app suddenly brought ovulation forward. It clearly didn't work 🤔

I can't get excited. We never wanted to have to go through yet another MMC. It's just too hard and has beaten us down immensely. I know for a fact this one will be no different to the others.
My recurrent miscarriage team have told me that there are no 'reassurance' scans for the foreseeable. My only scan will be at 12 weeks - by then I could have a dead baby inside me for at least 3 weeks.

I'm terrified I will start to love this baby like I did all the others. I need to know how not to bond as I simply can't go through the agony of babyloss again.

How can I distance myself from this one? It's not even like I can go out and do things to take my mind off it!

I wish I could be like everyone else and have hope and no worries. It seems like the whole world just has babies with no trouble (in my small world anyway)

And of all the times I could get pregnant It had to be during a fucking pandemic...

I don't know what I'm asking really, just tips on how to not get my hopes up like I have every single time.

[feistymumma]

Congratulations @Addler, beautiful baby

[feistymumma]

Congratulations OP, what a roller coaster journey you had and your little boy is absolutely gorgeous

[Frazzlerock]

Oh @Addler he's beautiful!! Congratulations! 🧡 I bet you're relieved he's finally here 🥰

[Tomorrowsanewsday]

Congratulations @addler. So pleased for you. A beautiful, baby boy.
What a journey you have had to get here.
He's gorgeous, but you already know that.
Wishing you and baby addler all the happiness you deserve.

Your early Christmas gift ❤️🤱🧸

[Serz88]

Congratulations @addler!!! He must have been comfy in there :P

[addler]

@Frazzlerock This chubby boy finally made an appearance! 41+4 and suddenly developed pre eclampsia on Tuesday so was delivered via c section on the 9/12. 4kg of pure deliciousness!

[Wherethereshope]

Oh my goodness, I've not seen your post before, what a journey you've had!

Huge congratulations!

[Pieceofpurplesky]

Beautiful! Congratulation OP. My DS was the same birth weight and now is a 6 foot 16 year old!

[padsi1975]

Oh this really is the loveliest story. So heartbreaking at the start and then this amazing ending. Many many congratulations.

[Parkandride]

I just read this all, what an amazing journey. I was rooting for you the whole way. So pleased for you and your beautiful boy, enjoy every second

[user1497510803]

You have the biggest congratulations ever ! Well done you and your beautiful boy

[KimMarie34]

I've just read this threat from start to finish and oh my god, so many ups and downs! Many congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby boy. I bet all that stress feels so worth it now, and how glad you must be that you didn't give up!

[follygirl]

Wow, just read your whole post. Had tears in my eyes when you thought you had lost your baby and then had another cry when you heard a heartbeat.

So, so happy about your beautiful baby.
Wishing you all health and happiness. X

[Trixtah]

Aww I'm crying my eyes out with such happiness for you! I remember reading you original post after going through a MMC myself and my heart really went out to you. I've not been on the page for months and thought I'd check in when I saw the thread. Didn't want to leave without saying massive congratulations xx

[Frazzlerock]

Told me not asked me!

[Frazzlerock]

😂 @carolebaskinfedhimtothetigers

Thank you all of you 🤗
Baby is doing really well since we've been home and we're just in a lovely baby bubble right now.
I still can't believe he's here! If you'd asked me at the beginning of the year I'd be sitting here breastfeeding my baby, I'd have told you you were off your rocker!

[carolebaskinfedhimtothetigers]

[quote lenny12345]@Frazzlerock

I feel for you, I know exactly how you feel to feel certain and how no one could possibly sway your mind.

I had 5 miscarriages and a ectopic pregnancy .. pregnant again now .. 10 weeks, heartbeat, everything seems to be going fine. Shocked is a understatement.

I take 75mg of aspirin in the morning and 75 at night.

I also got the doctor to prescribe me 400mg of progesterone for morning and night ( they will argue back but argue back with them that you have researched the best doctors who have proven it can help after multiple loss's and that for your mental wellbeing you need to try SOMETHING) hopefully your have a understanding doctor who will support you and prescribe it because they will say they can't .. but they CAN under the NHS guidelines xxxx[/quote]
If you can't be bothered to RTFT at least read a few of the most recent posts before posting...

[AFingerofFudge]

Best update ever! Big congrats to you all, have followed your thread from the start and am just so pleased!

[Serz88]

OMG I am so pleased for you!! What a gorgeous little boy and clearly happy and healthy and just couldn't wait to meet him mummy and daddy early! Wishing you all the best for the future with your little one 💙

[lenny12345]

@Frazzlerock

I feel for you, I know exactly how you feel to feel certain and how no one could possibly sway your mind.

I had 5 miscarriages and a ectopic pregnancy .. pregnant again now .. 10 weeks, heartbeat, everything seems to be going fine. Shocked is a understatement.

I take 75mg of aspirin in the morning and 75 at night.

I also got the doctor to prescribe me 400mg of progesterone for morning and night ( they will argue back but argue back with them that you have researched the best doctors who have proven it can help after multiple loss's and that for your mental wellbeing you need to try SOMETHING) hopefully your have a understanding doctor who will support you and prescribe it because they will say they can't .. but they CAN under the NHS guidelines xxxx

[Sheera1]

This really was just the best thread ever. So so happy for you and DP and delighted to have been here with you along the way. My turn next. 3 weeks to go. He is just so scrumptious. Xxxxx

[myrtleWilson]

He is beautiful Frazzle - you must be on cloud nine... many many congratulations!

[itsallgonepw]

Huge congratulations!

[FraterculaArctica]

Congratulations on your gorgeous gorgeous DS. I commented on your other thread when your waters went but I didn't realize you had been on such a very tough journey to get there. It must be such a relief to have him here safely even if a bit prem, at least that was how I felt when my DS turned up at 33 weeks last year. I hope you're recovering well after the crash delivery. Sounds like he was a really good size for 34 weeks, hope he is doing well.

[coffeecow]

He's beautiful. Congratulations. Reading through this whole thread after some bleeding myself and a wobbly screening test result (now awaiting Harmony results) has reassured me no end. The universe can be good. Sending you all the love in the world.