Talk

Unflip

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

1 2

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

DH doesn't want any more babies once he's over 30

34 replies

BlueButTrue · 12/10/2017 11:12

DH is 25 now, I myself 19.

I certainly don't want to pop out any more for a good 6/7 years.

I know I sound ridiculous, how could I possibly know for sure before even having DS? but I've suffered terribly with HG sickness throughout and my autoimmunity disease hasn't taken kindly to me being pregnant.

What's more, I'm being monitored every 48 for reduced/no movement and DS is being delivered at 37 weeks because of this.

I just can't bloody go through the hassle anymore.

Would it be better to have another DC in say 3 years instead of my planned 6/7?

DH doesn't want to have another one once he reaches 30. 30 still sounds so young to me but apparently it isn't to him.

In all honesty, I'm very comfortable sticking to one DC but he'd like one more and I'm comfortable to compromise.

I'm still so young, I don't want two children before I'm even 25 I want a healthy mixture of my career and family.

Children are bloody hard work. But is it really fair to leave DS as an only child?

I have PCOS and Endometriosis too, which may make TTC again quite a struggle. Maybe I won't even be able to once I hit 24+.

Sorry, this thread is probably deemed quite ridiculous since DS isn't here yet. I just wanted to get what I have to say out in the open, to someone I don't know personally.

My specialist obstetrician says she doesn't recommend 'just the one' and only children are lonely, apparently.

Perhaps DH will run to get the snip once he realises how dreadfully tired DS makes him?

OP posts:

Report

LoverOfCake · 12/10/2017 13:36

You can't possibly know how you'll feel about another until you've actually had this one and know what it's like to be a parent. This is why conversations about wanting two/three/four children are so pointless before the first baby because the reality is so different to the perception.

That being said, comments about how many children someone should have are not anyone else's to make regardless of who they are. People have the number of children they do for any number of reasons and it's nobody else's business but theirs.

30 is a lot closer to 25 than it is to nineteen which is why your h's thought process isn't necessarily unreasonable. And reality is that if you wait more than a couple of years they won't have a close sibling relationship you'll have two at two very different stages and that presents its own issues.

My parents had us at nineteen and 22 FWIW and although now that seems so incredibly young I am also very glad that my parents have been able to live so much of their lives prior to us having grown up and are still young enough to play an active part in their grandchildren's lives. My eXH's children are thirteen years apart and the reality is that his parents who were young when his eldest were born are no longer in the same kind of health now that the little one is starting to grow up and will be well into their 70's by the time he is of an age where he would e.g. Go and stay there. The relationships will be vastly different.

But you have to do what is right for you.

I wouldn't have wanted one after 35 but equally I wouldn't have wanted one at nineteen but if I'd fallen pregnant at nineteen I would have wanted them closer together. Iyswim.