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Pregnancy

Partners at the booking in appointment?

31 replies

kezmarie · 15/01/2017 16:11

As the title says really.
Are partners required to attend the booking in appointment at the local maternity unit?
Or is it personal choice?

I have my appt at 4.30 tomorrow & my partner may not be able to get out of work but I said it's fine if he misses it?

Thanks for any advice.

OP posts:

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MoonshineJungle · 16/01/2017 12:35

I've got mine Wednesday, my boyfriend is insisting on coming, he doesnt want to miss anything lol he's done it 3 times already and this is my first so he's more clued up about each appointment/scans etc!

Redpony1 · 16/01/2017 12:14

I feel a right wimp after reading that most of you don't take your partners for appointments where blood is taken, noone gets near me with a needle at the best of times, nevermind if i am alone! If i am alone, i'd run for the hills

Imavinoops · 15/01/2017 20:23

DP hasn't been to any of my midwife appointments as has been at work or looking after DSS. I haven't really minded tbh, he has been at the scans, the midwife appointments just feel a bit like going to the GP, would be dull for DP anyway, he would be like a spare wheel I think.

ConvincingLiar · 15/01/2017 20:07

As others say, partners never compulsory. Useful/nice to have them at scans and any consultant appointments. Otherwise they're only really good for transport/company. I drive myself and take a book.

SunnyDayDreaming101 · 15/01/2017 19:49

My DH stressed like hell to make it on time, only to be told to wait in the hallway and he never came in at all. I found it really weird that they were only asking about my history and not his.

It's actually the most disappointing appointment of your pregnancy, nothing happens.

They will want to ask you about domestic abuse and the like so if he is allowed in don't be offended if they ask him to leave at some point but honestly I wouldn't worry about him missing it

haveacupoftea · 15/01/2017 19:30

Oh god i didnt want mine there while I was discussing my medical history etc. As long as he is there for the big 2 scans and the birth i'm happy.

MouseClogs · 15/01/2017 19:22

Definitely personal pref. A pretty hefty proportion of women have no partner so they'd be a bit up a gumtree if there were some requirement that the partner be there.

There is no requirement that any partner be there at any stage, really. Subsequent to the conception they are, in practical terms, pretty surplus to requirements!

Bear2014 · 15/01/2017 19:04

My OH has only ever come to scans. Mostly midwife appointments are just loads of admin, blood and wee taking. Later on when talking about birth plan etc it gets slightly more interesting.

Applesandpears23 · 15/01/2017 18:55

Oh and you might want him at the glucose tolerance test about 28 weeks if you have to do one. First time around I puked all the way along the road as I had to get a bus early in the morning on a completely empty stomach. I wished I had got a lift and someone to hold my hand.

kezmarie · 15/01/2017 18:42

Blondes that's fine.
I was jus asking if he should be there or not, didn't want to turn up and then tell me that he should be there!
He only came to my IVF appts at the end when he was actually needed!
Yes he will be coming to all scans

OP posts:

Winniethepooer · 15/01/2017 18:41

Six dc here & dp never attended a booking in appointment. Some not all scans.
He knows nothing about his family!

Blondeshavemorefun · 15/01/2017 18:38

I didn't take df and he's never met our mw yet (29w) and seen her I think 3 times so far

As long as know history then not a problem or if not sure then can always call him

Far better to take on scans and antal natal appointments

kezmarie · 15/01/2017 17:06

Mouselove
No problem! You jump right on!
They will ask about both of your families medical history - siblings, parents, grandparents. So probably best you start gathering the info when you can!

OP posts:

kezmarie · 15/01/2017 17:04

I didn't realise about the domestic abuse questions!
Before we started IVF treatment we both had to have crb checks & fill out child welfare forms before they would even consider us. Obviously got the all clear.
Luckily I have no family medical conditions and my DP's dad has diabetes which he developed at the age of 51 - pretty sure I can remember that!
I've heard it's a lot of form filling and you come away with a huge pregnancy folder!

OP posts:

PatsFan · 15/01/2017 16:41

Didn't think about taking OH to mine. Questions aren't anything you aren't likely to know about your partner. And I'm sure if you don't know you can tell the midwife later.

RapidlyOscillating · 15/01/2017 16:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

arbrighton · 15/01/2017 16:37

no, they will need family history e.g. diabetes and blood pressure. And handy to know about any genetic conditions e.g. haemophilia (DH grandad was but as it's sex linked and on his dad's side, no problem)

I didn't have a letter or anything- just rang up to make appt. They do ask about DV though, they have to in order to identify risk etc

arbrighton · 15/01/2017 16:35

never dreamed of taking DH- I know the bits I needed from his side. He's allowed time off for 2 antenatal appts.

12 week scan was during his xmas break so will ask him to use them for 20 wk and for the Anti D appt in case I do go funny.

WhatwouldRuthdo · 15/01/2017 16:34

My booking in appointment letter asks me to come alone. I imagine this is, IIRC from my first pregnancy, so that the midwife can ask various questions about the home environment (including possible DV).

Scrumptiousbears · 15/01/2017 16:28

I didn't take my DP to either. He was working both times and it can go on for an hour or so once you've gone and got your bloods done. As long as you've filled in the forms and know the answers you are fine by themselves.

Oh they also like to question you about domestic violence anyway so handy for them if he isn't there so they done have to find an excuse to separate you.

MouseLove · 15/01/2017 16:27

I'm glad you posted this as I have my booking appointment in a few weeks. I didn't even think to bring DH. 😮

I'm now panicking as we haven't told our parents yet and they both have different medical issues I'll probably need to tell the midwife? Is that right or will it just be mine and my DH's medical history?

Thank you and sorry for jumping on your thread. Congratulations!!!! X

Applesandpears23 · 15/01/2017 16:24

I would say partners are only really necessary for scans or if you have anything upsetting you that you want to discuss and need their support. At the booking appointment they do ask for a very detailed medical history including things like are any of his relatives diabetic so you may want to chat about that sort of stuff. If you need to change your answers later you can do. The question I can never remember the answer to was when was your last smear test.

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SnugglySnerd · 15/01/2017 16:21

The midwife visited me at home for mine. DH was at work, I don't think there would have been much point in him attending though. They did ask about family medical history so make sure he tells you about anything relevant e.g. diabetes in his parents or siblings.

kezmarie · 15/01/2017 16:18

Thanks for your advice ladies.
We've recently had IVF treatment hence baby, so all family history (medical issues) have already been raised then else we would have been denied treatment. Hopefully the fertility clinic have sent everything over!
That's great then, I'll tell him not to worry about coming.
We have the 12 week scan a week on Tuesday and he's more excited about that!

Thanks again

OP posts:

rosel27 · 15/01/2017 16:18

Sorry I wrote my post before anyone had replied so didn't mean to just repeat what everyone else said!

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