Are NCT classes going to be as awful as I'm expecting?

[SpecialStains]

Had to sign up for NCT classes as it meant that DH and I could get it over and done with in two weekend days, as opposed to committing to once a week for 6 weeks with our local NHS ones (we'd never get out of work on time).

After weeks of patronising generic emails, with helpful hints such as suggesting that I take a nap if I'm tired in the day (okay, will just pass that one onto my manager at work), we've had an email from the course organiser.

I'm expected to bring items to create a 'birthing nest'. Suggested nesting items apparently include homeopathy oils and baby scans to focus on. Is this normal? Not sure DH and I are going to get on with this...

In all seriousness, what did non-woo people take along to create their 'birth nest' with?!

[ohanami]

Take whatever you think would make you feel comfortable and at home in an alien environment. It's science, not woo, to say that creating the right conditions for birth can help you get through the process - whether the thing that makes you feel comfortable is a drop of essential oil, an ipod playlist, a particular input from your partner, or a clinician telling you that everything's going OK. You might start off the class discussing what you want to learn, and what your expectations are - be honest but open minded if you can combine the two. I can't really comment on how good the classes were overall as I went into hospital between session 1 and 2 and we hadn't really covered the question of "what happens if things all go tits up and they need to get the baby out tomorrow." Met a lovely group of ladies though, all completely different, with different hopes for birth and beyond, but it was great to share the journey with them.

[Cakeymum]

Its definitely for the friends...! 3 years on and we still meet up regularly and if it hadn't been for my mad bunch of wine loving mum friends i would have struggled big time. You have a group of people who are going through the same thing, at the same time and can relate to your 2am garbled messages about not knowing what the f**k you are doing, or reassure you are doing well

I "learnt" some things, mainly local things specific to our hospital like booking tours or what their policies were. I already knew a lot about various pain control and stages of labour so it was more the little things here and there. My only criticism was i wanted to know more about how to actually look after bubs once he was here which there was only 1 lesson on

none of ours was very woo, but we were a bit of a bunch of medical misfits so i think only 1 person had a truly "natural" birth. We had (out of 8) 4 with gestational diabetes, 3 planned c sections (and 2 further emergency ones), 1 IVF with added complications, 3 SPD, and a whole load of other things on the run up.

I would do it all over again. to me it was worth every penny for the friends I made.

[DollyBarton]

Lol! Birthing best! May I suggest some sticks and if you could pull some Sheep wool off some barbed wire that should make it sufficiently cosy.

[SpecialStains]

Thanks all for the comments. It is quite reassuring how many of you enjoyed yours. As I said, I signed up and paid for these classes so I'm not trying to NCT bash, I was just a bit taken aback at the email I had. And I know you're right that it's not a literal nest.

Dolly I think you're more on my wavelength! Wondering how many friends we'd make if DH and I turned up with armfuls of sticks and twine, ready to create our actual nest...

[Micah]

Nhs classes are hilarious though!

We had one bloke storm out at the beginning saying he didn't even have a perineum so why should he care.

Then at the end a very serious question about was breastfeeding really best, as they'd been told all the environmental toxins the mother was exposed to would be passed on and poison the baby.

The m/w and I bonded over the ridiculousness of it all. Definately no woo or nests.

[Bear2014]

Take what you need from it, which in our case was the friendship of 7 other couples that is still strong 2.5 years later. We found out quite early in our NCT course that I would need a C-section so all the 'golden thread breathing' etc, I just smiled and nodded and got on with it. It's one weekend of your life, so how bad can it be.

[RiverTam]

Mine were nothing like this! The very first thing our teacher said was 'NCT. National childbirth trust. Not Natural childbirth trust.' And away we went, discussed everything that could possibly happen. As we were all planning to bf she covered that in a lot of detail, but she asked first, and she didn't cover some ff stuff as well.

The NHS ones were OK but it was a very large group and there were only 3, if we hadn't already done the NCT ones I don't think I would have been much the wiser. And they were very draconian on the bfing front, wouldn't cover ff at all.

[RiverTam]

She did cover ff.

[SpecialStains]

Micah Your NHS ones sound very funny. I guess you get oddballs in all walks of life. Please tell me there was much giggling at perineum man? I would have been happy with NHS ones, but if you live outside a big city in the UK, your NHS options can be fairly limited, and with me finishing at 6pm and DH finishing at 8pm (on a good day) there's no chance we could get to our local NHS classes on time.

Another thing that annoyed me slightly about NHS run classes round here, is that things like aqua natal happen during the working day. It really does stop those who work from being able to attend. Not a biggy, as I just attended ordinary aquafit classes and went swimming by myself, but I can't be the only working, pregnant lady in the whole of my area?!

Bear I will go as open minded as possible. I'm sure it will be fine. I've been looking forward to classes, as one of the pregnancy milestone sort of things (I've had a fairly miserable pregnancy so far, with my body just not playing ball).

There's an NCT thread going on in AIBU atm. I hadn't considered that at 25yrs old, I might be a bit younger than most of the other attendees. Is this going to be much of an issue?

[LuckySantangelo1]

At my classes last year agd ranges went from 25-35 for the mums and 25-50 for the dads! So a total mix. Real mix of social backgrounds too. But the class content was crap, the teacher was crap but I made some good friends!

[BertrandRussell]

There's no such thing as a homeopathy oil! Did you mean aromatherapy oil?

Obviously, aromatherapy is bullshit too- but my pregnancy cravings both times were smells- lavender for one and mint for the other. And I found having the smells with me in labour was a great help

Go along- the idea is to find other people in the same situation as you are, to be honest. And with a bit of luck, the sensible people will outnumber the woo-merchants. I still have friends from my first NCT class 20 years on.

[MrsZumbaDancer]

No birth nests on my NCT course.. Woo-est thing was the relaxation techniques at the ends The teacher asked us what we wanted to discuss and get out of it so it was really good. Made some friends who we saw regularly until we all started to return to work, just see one of them now.

I also did the nhs ones which were more telling us facts, no room for discussion. It was useful to know what drugs are offered at my local hospital and when.

Guess it depends on the teacher/area..

[Dizzydodo]

I found NCT quite useful, and mostly woo-free. The teacher appeared a bit lentil weavy but she was lovely and actually very knowledgeable. The other parents were reassuringly non woo and mostly late 20s-early 30s, I would definitely recommend it even if you only get a bit of useful information from it.

I don't mean this to sound woo bashy - if that's what you're into more power to you, just not my cup of tea.

[Starspread]

I was probably the woo-est person in my NCT class (planned - though didn't quite manage - a home birth, dead set on breastfeeding, fond of candles and aromatherapy oils and hypnotherapy/self-hypnosis - but vehemently anti-homeopathy and prefer to research the scientific basis for anything told as 'accepted truth' re pregnancy and parenthood) - so if my group was anything to go by, sounds like you'll bond over giggling about 'birthing nests' :)

[bonjovigirl]

my NCT was also the weekend type setup as DH works evenings. The content wasn't too woo (the few bits mentioned we were all equally incredulous and about!) and as there were only 4 couples it was easier to get to know each other. Would definitely recommend trying the course.

OP just a thought - I attended NHS courses using antenatal leave from work? I treated it similar to midwife appointments...might be worth broaching with work?

[Highlove]

Another one here with no woo at all on the NCT course. And it really didn't push natural birth or pain relief-free birth. I guess it depends on the teacher but ours was pretty sensible. There was a whole session dedicated to BF and less on formula feeding - to be fair though I think you are probably more likely to need support and advice on BFing than FFing, but others may not agree.

Most importantly, I/we made great friends - we still see them am all both with and without the now two-year olds. Was worth every penny for me on that front as I didn't know any people with babies locally. But I know that not everyone has such a great experience - friend of mine did it more recently and her group sounds like a hideous bunch of competitive mums. Grim, and not helpful to my lovely friend who's struggling a bit. But I know many more people for whom that really hasn't been the case!

Good luck, go into it optimistically and hope for the best.

[Highlove]

Oh and at the ripe old age of 34 last pregnancy when I did NCT, having walked past the NHS class it was apparent I was old enough to be the mum of most of the participants. Which kind of put me off!

[SockQueen]

I'm a doctor, in a specialty which has a fair amount of involvement in childbirth, and I've booked onto NCT. I plan on tuning out if it gets too "woo" and will only say something if they say anything downright dangerous. Lots of my colleagues have been to NCT and are overall very positive about it.

DH has no medical training or knowledge (he feels faint if I talk about taking blood/giving injections, let alone having them done to himself!) so I hope it will be beneficial for him, and I'm very much in favour of getting ti know some other new parents, as we've only recently moved to the area and don't have any non-work friends.

[TwirlyHoos]

Micah we did NHS ones which also had its share of crazies!

One man wanted reassurance that, when his wife was in labour and therefore lost the ability to make decisions (!) the midwives would listen to him about things like whether or not she needed a Caesarean. The very patient midwife running the class first explained that "a woman's brain does not fall out when she is having a baby" (said in her very clipped German accent) then that it would be a clinical decision whether she needed intervention.

Later on, we had a talk about cord donation. It was explained that it was an international program. Another man, with his Australian wife, said they would only sign up if it could be guaranteed that the cord blood would remain in the UK because "we already give enough to the rest of the world"

[SunshineAndClouds235]

My NCT class was very slanted to natural childbirth and breastfeeding was totally hammered home (far too pushy). We made some really great friends tho! I think it really depends on the teacher and how you feel.
Don't let anyone make you feel bad for your birth choices and certainly don't feel bad for not making a birthing nest! That would have put me right off too!

[Micah]

Another nhs one!

Listening in to a conversation between a young pregnant girl, and a bunch of her male pals in school uniform who had walked her to class.

It became apparent that while most of the lads knew how the baby got in there, none of them knew how the baby got out again.

There were some horrified and confused faces as the girl's female friend tried to explain. Although she didn't have a completely clear idea either....

[mayhew]

Midwife here. Re "nesting" the labour hormones flow best if you feel safe private and comfortable. Good birth centres try to help a woman achieve that and may call it " nesting". Familiar items might help like your own pillow or favourite smell. It's not mad really.

[CoffeeCoffeeAndLotsOfIt]

I absolutely loved mine. Enjoyed the classes and the content, happily learnt about labour stages even though I knew I was having an elective c-sec for health reasons.

Met some great people who I'm still close with now.

I'm not woo or a hippy mum.

[Dollface136]

Haven't started my NCT yet but all my friends loved it. No idea if we are what you would define as "normal" or not, but we don't live in communes and wash with dock leaves or anything like that. I had my letter about our first class next week and no mention of "nests". I quite like the sound of them though in the context of items that will help you focus during labour as I am prone to have a panic so I see it more like giving myself the best chance of staying calm.
Hoping to meet other people really, I don't see that they will teach me anything I haven't learned from the copious research I have done online and in books. DH will probably get more form it though. Good luck.

[Weezie85]

We had to give hand massages and draw a flower opening to imagine birth. Hahaha. It was all crap in my opinion. Teacher was a loon, but the other people were great. It didn't help with my birth at all