Anyone not preparing for labour at all?

[HJBeans]

Just that, really. Did loads of prep for DS1 and none of it really factored as I failed to progress and had surgery after 3 days. This time I'm working full time with a two year old and have barely had time to plan for the new baby, let alone the birth. Going for VBAC as told this is safer, but don't care much about details of birth experience so long as we're both safe and I feel supported. Telling myself it's not really predictable, so having no plan isn't a problem. But wondering if I'm going to flip out in an unprepared panic when contractions start. Anyone else just waiting out the last few weeks with no particular preparation?

[goodnightdarthvader1]

based on my own experience I'm happy to trust the medical professionals around me with the welfare of myself and my baby.

And based on my own experiences, and what I've read online, I'm totally NOT. I feel I have to know the pros and cons of each choice, my rights, and when intervention might be needed, in order to assure myself that the decisions are being made for the right reason. On the NHS the goal is a baby that survives - mother's welfare, treatment and happiness seem very far down the list of priorities.

[ThursdayLastWeek]

I do not disagree with you on understanding what might happen.

I guess I just don't class reading up on things and attending antenatal classes as 'preparing' in quite the sense the OP means.

[Shirkingfromhome]

I guess if you want anything specific like delayed cord clamping then birth plans and planning might be useful for your midwife. If you feel like you should have a plan, you could always have a think about what about your perfect labour would be like and be prepared for it to change?

I haven't done any birth prep this time and I didn't really bother last time as I thought I'd end up with a section after dc wasn't taking the hint it was time to come out.

[goodnightdarthvader1]

Thursday I initially took "preparing" to mean all the things I'd planned to do but haven't done nearly enough of

• kegels
  
• bouncing on birth ball
  
• vaginal massage
  
• OFP exercises
  
• yoga
  
• practising breathing
  

etc. But I don't think OP has been back so we may never clarify what she means!

[CornishDoll82]

The problem I found is that the MW prior to the birth were all about birth plans and what you wanted but when it came to it my agency MW didn't want to even look at it. We had to fight for a lot of stuff that we were told was normal and would happen including skin to skin, wireless monitoring, not lying down, music etc

[ThursdayLastWeek]

Just another way in which birth is about the most personal of experiences there is!

Now I think about it, I'm not even sure what I think 'prepping' for the birth might entail! I guess I've been doing the pelvic floor exercise with my Pilates but as I'm having a section that's probably not even necessary.

I'm glad I didn't have particular expectations of my sons birth as his position and my high BP made their own plans.

[5madthings]

Thursday pelvic floor exercises are always necessary, you will be grateful you have done them, even without a vaginal birth pregnancy puts huge pressure on your pelvic floor and they are something thst all women should do throughout life, tbh they should be taught as part of Sex ed and they are important for boys as well, continence or lack of it is a huge issue for men and women as we age, it's just something that's not spoken about and lots of peoolejust put up with stress incontinence etc as part of life but it doesn't have to be.

I don't think a birth plan or preparations has to mean you have certain expectations for birth, for me it's the opposite actually. Yes I would like things to go a certain way, ie smoothly! But having a plan/preferences is also for all the incase this happens so I know I am making an informed choice or so I understand what is happening etc it's about preparing for the different eventualities. But I also agree with darth? That the hcp doesn't always know best or help you to make the right choices for you, some have their way of wanting to do things etc. I have had to push against this in previous births, they don't even always follow best clinical practise, as they have their own preferences.

[ThursdayLastWeek]

You're right of course about the PFE 5mad. No ever regretted not pissing themselves when they sneeze.

[HJBeans]

Wow - this has exploded. Thanks for your thoughts, all. Reassuring there's a range of 'preparedness' out there and happy to find I still remember enough of the birth 'plan' stuff from last time to feel I could express preferences.

By preparing, I meant both consideration of eventualities and logistics (e.g. discuss & write down birth preferences, get food / music / hospital bag ready for labour in good time, etc.) and physical preparation (exercises, breathing / relaxation practice, bouncing on ball, etc.) Did both last time - not with any real 'ideal birth' in mind or a feeling these things would control the process, but because I thought of very little else in the last few weeks.

This time I've mostly been working, looking after my toddler and sleeping fitfully. I'm meant to finish work four days before I'm due. Even a few days on the sofa with crap tele to feel less exhausted would feel like 'preparation' to me at the moment. Keep thinking 'will definitely pack hospital bag tonight' then falling asleep on a chair in my son's room at half eight.

[CornishDoll82]

My baby surprised me at 36 weeks so I wouldn't wait too long to pack it. Luckily as a first time mum mine had been packed for weeks!