Anyone not preparing for labour at all?

[HJBeans]

Just that, really. Did loads of prep for DS1 and none of it really factored as I failed to progress and had surgery after 3 days. This time I'm working full time with a two year old and have barely had time to plan for the new baby, let alone the birth. Going for VBAC as told this is safer, but don't care much about details of birth experience so long as we're both safe and I feel supported. Telling myself it's not really predictable, so having no plan isn't a problem. But wondering if I'm going to flip out in an unprepared panic when contractions start. Anyone else just waiting out the last few weeks with no particular preparation?

[honeysucklejasmine]

Cornwall thanks for your concern, but I'm certainly not naïve. I am fully aware of the risks of each, cheers. As, I am sure, are the people administering them, who I trust to only do so if it will not have a negative impact on the health of myself and my baby.

I simply don't want to be made to feel a failure after pushing a child from my vagina because I needed an epidural and didn't achieve some NCT wet dream of a perfect labour with only deep breathing to sustain me.

Different strokes, and all that.

[honeysucklejasmine]

Oops, cross post.

If you read the sentence immediately following that quote, you'll see why I feel that way.

If you want a drug free birth, you go for it. It's your body, your choice.

I know my body, and I know what it can and can't do. Sorry if you took offence to my opinion. It's not intended to judge anyone by calling them naive or anything like that

[CornishDoll82]

You can do what you like, which is the beauty of choice and our modern healthcare system. But I'd suggest you try and be a bit less judgey of others as there's a hell of a lot of that out there in the realm of 'motherhood' And it's not nice

I didn't find labour that painful and was perfectly manageable with breathing techniques. You might be surprised. Or you might not, and that's fine too

[ThursdayLastWeek]

Well I found it bloody awful.
Can't wait to not do it again

[honeysucklejasmine]

Sure, sure, I'll try to be less judgey of people.

Good luck with your labour. I hope it's what you want it to be.

[goodnightdarthvader1]

Ease off, cornish, there was nothing judgy in what was said. We only have mommy wars if people think that other people's choices are a comment on theirs, which it sounds like you're doing here.

[CornishDoll82]

As above, I had my baby a few months ago but that's by the by.

To look at it another way, if someone came on here and said 'the only thing I know is that I don't want drugs. I don't know why people would do that to themselves' then it starts to sound judgey doesn't it?

It's the second part, the question about why other people would make the choice not to have drugs which is the judgement. And not very supportive to other mums to be who might be hoping to do so, or worried about doing so

[Laquila]

I think it's quite Mumsnetty (as in, popular on here) to be very blasé about lack of birth plan or preparation for labour, but in reality practically everyone I know at least read up a bit on their options and discussed them with their birth partner. I had what we referred to as a "birth plan" last time round (eventual EMCS) but I guess it was really just a list of preferences, to save time and confusion during actual labour. This time around (ELCS) I'll probably have requests such as immediate skin-to-skin if possible written down, but there isn't really as much room for preferences with an ELCS.

I often hear people who didn't have a birth plan being very dismissive of those who "tried to plan it all down to the last detail" but surely there's some middle ground?!

[BeautifulLiar]

The minute I got a BFP with my first baby I knew I'd want "all the drugs" when it came to giving birth. The bastards didn't give me any though because they wouldn't believe I was in labour! I only had a tiny bit of gas and air at the end, despite having an episiotomy and forceps birth :(

[honeysucklejasmine]

Again, Cornwall, can you please read the very next sentence where I justify why I feel that way?

Or just carry on reading too much in to it. Whatever.

[CornishDoll82]

They didn't believe me either beautiful liar. I was 10cm dilated before they realised......

[CornishDoll82]

I think a baby is a pretty good reason but each to their own

[BeautifulLiar]

I think I was 7cm Cornish. I vowed to have home births after that, and did have two, but I'm having to have this baby induced :( really don't want to go through that again...

[goodnightdarthvader1]

Oh, I have a "Birth Preferences" (it's looking increasingly unlikely, but it's what I'm hoping for). I think not writing down birth prefs "because it all went wrong last time" is silly, myself. There's a vast range of choices and absolving yourself if the right to choose is pretty disempowering.

[LBOCS2]

Beautiful, my induction was fine - my waters went spontaneously after the gel pessary, put me straight into established labour and it was 12hrs start to finish - with no interventions at all, despite the fact that I had an epidural to help keep my blood pressure down. Good luck :)

Cornish, your comments regarding the effect on the baby being a good reason not to have any painkillers at all are also extremely judgemental of other women's' decisions to do so - each to their own, eh? There aren't any medals for bravery if someone feels like they need it.

[CornishDoll82]

beautiful I was induced too - and it went so smoothly they didn't believe I'd gone into labour so don't fear!

LBOCS2 no they're not. They're facts. Honeysuckle queried why some women didn't want drugs. One of the reasons would be that all drugs have side effects. Or else we'd all take them if there were no side effects wouldn't we?

I'm certainly not anti drugs in labour - I thought I probably would have some and said so on my birth plan

[ppandj]

I did all the birth planning and was very organised and "prepared" (haha!!). None of it happened the way I planned.

The only thing I didn't do with first baby was perineal massage to prevent tearing. This is the only thing I would do next time round!

[BeautifulLiar]

Thank you - I guess I'm sad about having to have the WHOLE labour in hospital, it sucks!

[PagesOfABook]

My only plan was to have an epidural but I was too far gone so in couldn't

[Lovelydiscusfish]

I didn't write a birth plan. I felt that, if I was conscious, I'd rather

[Lovelydiscusfish]

Sorry, posted too soon, rather just state my preferences at the time, and if unconscious, I would trust the medical professionals to have a better understanding than me of the best course of action.
In the end I had a relatively straightforward birth, just painful. I don't think a birth plan would have helped at any point. Nothing against those who find them useful, of course.

[Cinnamon2013]

39 weeks with dc2 and yesterday wrote a birth plan for my elcs. I'd been wary of doing it - couldn't see the point, didn't want to see it go out the window like last time. (EMCS after masses of prep, hypnobirthing and all sorts). I found it really empowering, surprisingly. There are choices. I feel more ownership of the decision now. I'm wary or having hopes dashed but god, what's the point in a life lived without ever hoping for good things. The minimal prep and lack of blimmin perineal massage has given me a lot more time to eat cheese.

Cornish, there's something in your tone that isn't coming across well. I can sort of see where you're coming from but you sound very self-satisfied. Drugs used in childbirth are tested insanely extensively. I'm not saying they don't have negative effects, but sometimes there is a balance to consider. A mothrr's wellbeing is important. Please don't scaremonger.

[Runningupthathill82]

First time around, my plan was no drugs, yoga and hypnobirthing. Ended up with all the drugs, forceps and an episiotomy.

Second time, I realised that the baby had plans of her own, so my only plan was "get a healthy baby out." She was born in the water with no pain relief aside from gas and air.

Sometimes over-planning sets you up for disappointment. It took me years to get over DS's birth, whereas DD"s was a joyful and really special experience.

[ThursdayLastWeek]

I don't think anyone is suggesting to go into in without doing any research whatsoever.

For one thing most people like to know how to recognise when labour starts!

I wouldn't ever ridicule anyone who makes a 'birth preferences' list, but based on my own experience I'm happy to trust the medical professionals around me with the welfare of myself and my baby.

In the heightened feelings of late pregnancy and labour, things like a formula top up and no skin to skin can seem like the be all and end all. But I don't think they are really.