I had a miscarriage on 18th September at 6 weeks but became fertile again a couple of weeks later and DTD on my most positive day, 5th October. The first time I got pregnant, I knew I was pregnant the very next day. I was nauseous, had a lump in my throat and 'just knew' and sure as hell, all the usual symptoms follwed.
The second time I conceived, on 5th October, I had the same feeling about 3 days after and again, all the usual symptoms followed. On Friday, I got cramps (nowhere near as bad as I did when I miscarried) and I felt faint, hot and light headed, just like I did when I miscarried. All my pregnancy symptoms disappeared too so I cried a lot that night. The very next day, which was yesterday, all my symptoms came back. The nausea, sore boobs, uterus 'tugging' feeling etc, so I was over the moon happy.
However, last night just before bed I noticed very watery, pink blood and did some research and worked out the timing a figured it could be implantation bleeding. I woke up this morning expecting to see loads of blood but again, there was just the watery pink stuff so once again I was stupidly happy thinking it was just implantation bleeding.
But, an hour later it's got heavier and I just know it's more than implantation bleeding and of course, I've been in tears. The thing is, I still feel a bit morning sicky, my boobs still hurt, I still have Montgomery Tubercles etc, all the usual signs. I know these will fade but it all just feels so cruel, twice in a month and I was so sure I'd done everything right this time.
The thing is, I never got to see a positive test and no one believes that I could know I was pregnant, not even my own Mum and we're extremely close, even though the first time I got pregnant I knew the next day and I was right, no one had a problem with disbelieving then because of the positive.
It's just so difficult knowing I'm going to have to grief again with no support, with the added knowledge that people think I'm having imaginary pregnancy symptoms.
I will always know that I was pregnant a second time, even without being able to prove it but it still hurts that no one believes me.
Has anyone else been through this? It'd be nice to know I'm not alone. I understand nice isn't the right word, this is far from nice, but I don't know how else to word it.
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Pregnancy
Chemical Pregnancy?
Leanneosaurus · 18/10/2015 06:45
I'm sorry for everything you are going through. My advice would be take a deep breath, step back and give yourself a month off to let your body resettle. You aren't giving yourself time to heal. You are just piling upset on upset.
I've had 3 x miscarriages and required surgery I've been that far along so I really do understand that need to be pregnant again.
After my 3rd mc I had a forced 4 month break because of testing (and there was absolutely nothing wrong with me) but I then caught again on my first attempt after the break and I'm now 25 weeks pregnant on my. 4th attempt.
Do not give up, but I do think you need to give yourself a bit of space to breathe and just let your body work itself out, which it will do.
Try and have at least 1 period in between attempts rather than just frantically trying. I know it's so hard but you are getting yourself in such a state
I know you think it's easy for me to say, but I've been there.
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