Ex and pregnant

[Christinedonna]

This is really more curiosity than anything. AF is never on time, I always come up with symptoms in my head and stress my self out. I'm currently 8 days late and being sick, diarrhoea, fatigue etc obviously makes me wonder whether or not I'm pregnant. But that's not as such the topic of this question. I'm not really looking for advice because I don't know my situation atm.. How would you go about telling your ex partner that you're pregnant (with his baby) if he left you for a mistress and whilst being with you, told you if you were to get pregnant that would be "your problem" and nothing to do with him. Would you just blurt it out and let him deal with it? Would you try and have a proper conversation with him? I have no time for the man and although I could find a way, I have no contact with him. Look forward to hearing your opinions

[weatherall]

If he's said it's your problem I wouldn't tell him.

Your body is nine of his business anymore.

[lentilpot]

Poundland pregnancy tests are pretty accurate if you'd like to test without a lot of cost.

[Christinedonna]

I don't need anyone to analyse my mindset. I'm not stressed about it. I found myself asking the question "what would I do?" And decided to share my thoughts. I'm not symptom spotting, I'm well aware it's more probably a stomach bug which is why at no point have I said "am I?" "I might be" it's a fact that it's a possibility,although unlikely.

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

If you're symptom spotting and posting hypothetical questions online, that does sound fairly stressed.

[Christinedonna]

Like I said,being late isn't uncommon for me. I'm not going to waste time &money and get stressed over something that happens quite often. If it continues another week I will definitely test

[squizita]

I'm not sure if I'm missing something here but... if you are 8 days late, why not test? Yes your question is in theory... but it's not than much in theory if you're of childbearing age, have had unprotected sex and a late period.
Saying it's just a theoretical question when the evidence suggests there's a big chance it's not just theory - why not take a step to know then ask/decide for real?

[Christinedonna]

Yeah I'm such a strong believer of regardless of the problems you've had with someone, that doesn't take away their right to be a parent. I'm all for giving someone a chance but I'm also a realist. In an ideal world, every dad would step up.unfortunately it's not that way. I think waiting for the scan is a good idea. Then you don't seem like an ex with a vengeance

[Fairypants]

I think I would wait til after the 12 week scan and then tell. On the whole, I guess it would be best to give him as much of a chance as possible to get his head round it and be a good dad and I think anyone is more likely to do that if they feel they've been part of the process rather than it being thrust upon them. On the other hand, if he were to be as negative as you suggest in being told, I think the ill wishing would make me extra nervous in the early days.
Just to be clear, this guy has not earned any consideration in the matter but the way the news is broken will change how well he can assimilate the information so my goal would be to increase the chance of him coming round to parenting.

[Christinedonna]

Glad someone actually understood my question

[seasavage]

I would wait until the birth and send a letter 'to advise' of his reality and legally, it wouldn't be a problem he could just shuck off. But clearly expecting anything from someone so feckless would be a waste.

[Christinedonna]

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if tomorrow/in a few days AF arrived. I'm just saying, it started to make me wonder what other women would do. We were together, we were sleeping together, it was unprotected and that was fine with both of us. At the end he told me if I were pregnant I'm on my own, he then left for this secret woman. I'm not hoping I'm pregnant, I'm not looking for an excuse to have him in my life AT ALL. If I were I wouldn't have an abortion..I couldn't do that. He would obviously have to be notified and that's why I asked how everyone would do so. Again, the question was more in reference to the situation, not 'my' situation

[SloanePeterson]

If you don't want to be, then you need to test ASAP. And tbh I'd not tell him anything if your mind is made up. It'll give him more power to abuse you.

[Christinedonna]

I don't want to be. After finding out what I have about him. He left me 3-4 weeks ago for this woman and we haven't spoke since

[Christinedonna]

I did quite clearly state that it's more curiosity than anything and that I'm not jumping to any conclusions. I haven't slept with him since we were together. Wanted to know what other people would do in a similar situation. You really should read properly before you assume anything. This site is for posting questions, not to be criticised

[SloanePeterson]

How can you have no contact with someone you must have shagged 3 weeks ago? You presumably can speak to him if you need to. Why would you want a baby with such a horror of a man from what is clearly a terrible relationship? If this isn't the first time you've been convinced you're pregnant, you're obviously not on birth control, so possibly want a baby. Why don't you test first and then deal with telling him? I really don't recommend having a child with someone who does not want one. My ds's dad wants nothing to do with him and it breaks my heart every single day.

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

I think you should wait until you're sure and probably stop having sex with your ex rather than keep risking it and being a drama llama before it's even happened.