Gina Ford v Tina Hogg???

[FraggleRock77]

Which did you go with if any at all? I have friends who've done a mixture of both. Just trying to read up before the big day! X

[FraggleRock77]

Thank you for all the comments. It's really helpful to hear other points of view x

[Flatasawitchestit]

None. Babies can't be programmed you need to be led by your baby and feed he / she when they want, have plenty of skin to skin and cuddles and have zero expectations of routine, that way you won't feel let down / stressed when your baby isn't conforming to what a book says.

[MrsJaqenHgar]

No books read here either. Although someone did but me the Gina Ford book. It's never been opened. DD was an easy baby I think... although i have a very limited frame of reference.She set her own routine and I fell into place behind her. I took the 'if it ain't broke don't fix it' approach. And her insistance on BFing every 90 minutes through the day would have made GF's head explode. Going witb the flow has worked well so far (still uptight and breathing at 14 months )

[OnaPromise]

Neither.

I read the Baby Whisperer and it was no use to me whatsoever. If anything it made me feel really crap, and as if I wasn't doing it 'right'. Save yourself the money and the bother.

[lagoonhaze]

Read Baby calm and baby led breastfeeding if you want to read.

Or the baby book by William sears.

[JimbosJetSet]

Neither. I read both, I think GF while still pregnant and TH when DD was about 6 months. They both made me feel so horribly guilty - it seemed apparent to me from both books that I had a difficult baby because I had done (or was doing) something wrong

[JimbosJetSet]

X post with OnaPromise - Im glad it wasn't just me who felt like that!

[23balloons]

Gina Ford for ds2 who still sleeps blissfully through the night at 11 years! He was sleeping through at 9 weeks thanks to the routine.

Ds1 was an on demand breastfed baby and never settled at night, first slept through around 3 years then had night terrors, bed wetting & sleepwalking. At 12 years old he is still a terrible sleeper & often wakes up exhausted.

Maybe there is no link? But I'll never know for sure. The on demand bf drained me of every ounce of energy I had, but the routine was very tough too.

Read both & do what you think is right when the time comes. :)

[FraggleRock77]

Thanks. I think there are points in both books which seem very useful but only time and a baby will tell! Xx

[Thurlow]

Just to add, no, why do people say 'baby hasn't read the book' but only when referring to routines? That one amuses me no end. There are books on baby-led approaches and attachment-style parenting too I could have read every book on baby wearing ans feeding on demand but my baby hadn't read those books - she wanted food offered before she was too hungry, and detested being worn for more than a walk to the shop. Babies haven't read ANY books.

What a previous poster says about whether you know someone you can ask is very true. If you feel clueless, sure, read a book! Forewarned is forearmed, after all, read around for ideas of what different and personalities babies have

[suntodayplease]

Nothing for 6 months, fed on demand and had a constantly snacking and cat napping grouchy baby. Did GF and within 2 days DD was a changed baby who finally took decent feeds and slept for more than 20mins. I know she's not for everyone but worked for us.

[nenevomito]

Don't even attempt a routine in the first weeks. The best you can hope for is that you will not fall asleep as you're feeding them.

[bigkidsdidit]

Personally I like routines, but want to be quite laid back, so I didn't even read GF. I liked baby whisperer idea of feed-play-sleep, because with DS1 I fed to sleep for ages and got into a terrible pickle with endless night wakings etc. DS2 I have never fed to sleep, I changed his nappy after feeds or just tickled a bit. Now at 10 weeks he can self settle and sleeps far, far better than Ds1 (obviously anecdata )

I follow the pattern but not the timings, I feed on demand and she says all babies should go 3 hours between feeds but Ds2 is normally 2-2.5, so I do that instead.

[Tittybangbang]

God reading threads like this make me want to go and write the 'Tittybangbang guide to teaching your grandmother to suck eggs babies' where I'd just give people blindingly obvious advice like 'learn to recognise when your baby's tired' that any sensible person works out for themselves within 10 minutes of giving birth, but which I could build a lucrative career around.

[FraggleRock77]

Thanks for your feed back Titty. The post is a harmless query to other Mothers. Unfortunately i need to be taught to 'suck eggs' as I'm a first time Mum. I appreciate your comments x

[Thurlow]

I've got a feeling, titty, that if every sensible person knew that, half of mumsnet would be bloody quiet... But by all means write it, I'm sure it'd be enlightening to have a guide for New mums that is summarised as "for Christs sake, if you don't know when your baby is tired or hungry, you may as well give it back..."

OP, I didn't have a bloody clue either

[FraggleRock77]

Thanks Thurlow. I think the idea of routines especially a Ford routine can prompt some strong feelings. I'm happy to hear all points of view. It may all seem very obvious to some Mums but I'm just trying to read and widen my knowledge. I don't think that's ridiculous x

[apachepony]

Nor me, the first time I read babies need to sleep at least every 2 hours it was a revelation, I worked v hard to make sure he went to sleep after 2 hours (usually with a bit of a fight) and the evening crying died down!

[halfpint76]

Hi, like everyone else, I can only give you my opinion based on my experience. But be assured, you'll find your own way and it will work and you will be the best expert on YOUR baby :-). I actually found both books really useful in the end and they gave some really practical advice, especially GF, for example, on how to increase your milk supply if you felt it was too low (I found other sources quite wishy-washy on that sort of advice). I had initially tried the baby-led approach at first, but our problem was that my son just didn't demand to be fed often enough so dropped weight too quickly, and I also feel that it didn't help our breast feeding get established that easily at first. It became much easier once i started feeding him following a more regular pattern (whether he was crying for it or not). I didn't follow either GF or TH to the letter, but I did find them practical, and liked having some sort a loose structure, to our day and being able to roughly predict when my son was next likely to be hungry, tired etc. I guess it depends alot on what you were/are like pre-baby; whether you like some routine or whether you like to go with the flow; whether you like having a reference book or 2..or not at all.

You'll work it out it, just enjoy and cherish those early days and try not to let other people's advice (wanted or not) influence you too much!! :-). I regret that I worried too much about what people thought about me using "books" and hated that much trotted out phrase 'well, the baby's not read it!' Well, they helped me feel a more confident, happy mum and my son thrived and that's all that matters. Good luck

[Meglet]

Gina Ford. It turned out I didn't have any parenting instinct, DS was a lot happier when he was in a routine.

[CreatureRetorts]

It's pure coincidence if your baby slept through and you did Gina or the other one IMO.

There are many reasons why your baby might not sleep through - until you've ruled them all out, I wouldn't blame routine or lack of.

Those books made me feel like failures with their talk of "jus swaddle the baby and put to bed" or "your baby is using you as a prop". FFS it's a baby, highly dependant on it's mother. Of course it wants a cuddle FFS.

I will say that Gina Ford routines were useful pointers once my two got older - once we started solids - before that, they changed so much that it was easier to nap in anticipation of tiredness with roughly regular feeds.

[Thurlow]

Oh, god, apache, poor DD probably didn't sleep in the day for the first few weeks, I had no idea - she was in NICU for the first few days, I honestly thought she was only sleeping a lot in there because she was poorly, not because babies slept that much She was much happier when she was pointed in the direction of food or sleep before a meltdown.

But of course, a baby is just as likely to detest any idea of a routine so it's best to remember that too. For an idiot's guide I liked Jo Frost's Confident Baby - she does have a section on a routine, but the rest is practical advice - and Lucy Atkin's First Time Parent is fantastic, the ultimate judgement free step-by-step guide.

[FraggleRock77]

I think you have hit the nail on the head HalfPint. Maybe you should write a book x

[MakeGlutenFreeHay]

God, neither. Trust in your instincts, cuddle your baby as much as you can (try a stretchy sling, perhaps, so they can sleep when they want to) and if they fuss stick a boob in their mouth if you are bf. they'll find their own "routine" and be much happier for not having been shoehorned into one not meant for them.

Congratulations, btw!

[bigkidsdidit]

Jo Frosts book is great as it gives really basic useful tips on things like how many layers to dress your baby in and how to care for the belly button etc. it's a great book