Would you abort for Edwards syndrome?

[nappyaddict]

I know they say that most babies with Edwards syndrome are stillborn or die before they are 2 months old. But then there was Luke Winston-Jones who died at 10 months old and little Baby Grace who died a couple of days ago aged 5 months. After seeing how happy she looks in some of the photos and videos it has made me question whether I would abort for Edwards syndrome. Her own parents have said despite the broken hearts they have they would do it all again in a heartbeat because the last 5 months have been the best of their lives.

[nappyaddict]

I used to think I would but now I'm swaying towards continuing with the pregnancy if it were to happen to me.

melliebobs Does your friend's dd have the mosaic sort?

[blueshoes]

Yes. My dd's scan at 12 weeks was very dodgy and the doctors were speculating Patau's at one point. If it was confirmed in the CVS (it was not), I would have aborted for the baby's sake.

[MrsTittleMouse]

Missy :(

I think I would probably abort, but I don't think that anyone knows for sure what they'd do until they're in that situation. DH and I have discovered time and time again that once we're actually there things look very different (not that it stops him making pronouncements sometimes - "we'd never have had IVF" - really? You're that sure??).

[infamouspoo]

No. Having had a baby who was expected to die very quickly those hours were the most precious ever. Termination would mean you'd miss out on seeing your baby alive, the chance to meet them and form memories. Babies with Edwards arent 'suffering' even if they die early and there's supportive palliative care.
But most important to me was the chance to hold my baby for as long as she ws with us.

[nappyaddict]

It says here that Grace had the form of Edwards syndrome.

[nappyaddict]

*full form

[idiot55]

we were advised very strongly to terminate at 23 weeks , not due to edwards, we didnt, we are very lucky to have a happy child.

Edwards has variants, so perhaps for me I would request more info from the amnio before deciding.

[clarasol]

Very interesting all your points of view. I had a child with Edwards Syndrome, I did not know it until she was 4 months old (I live in Dominican Republic, it is illegal to abort). For my beliefs I wouldnt abort in any case. I cherish every day, every moment of my baby girl. It was only 4 month and 14 days, but it was worth. My baby had the full form, and lived for that time. If I can go through that again? Im not sure right now, its very recently. But the point is you´d never know if everything will be ok. Nature has its way, I respect that. And God works with miracles and faith.

[nappyaddict]

clarasol Do you think your baby suffered or was in pain during her short life? RIP baby clarasol xx

[Lovemyprincess4eva]

I honestly don't know. But think if I knew she was going to suffer then I would as dont think that is fair on the baby. But until your in that position I don't think anyone fully knows what they would do xx

[pooka]

Yes.

[DameFanny]

Yes. Ds came back as 1 in 4 chance of Edward's from the triple test and there was no doubt in our minds - I wouldn't put a dog through that - why would I make a baby suffer so?

Luckily for us - and of course ds - the expedited amnio showed all clear so I was only sobbing uncontrollably for 3 days.

[SeriousStuff]

No. We opted against some of the tests because personally, we felt it wasn't really our decision as to when our baby dies. Even if we could give it love and care for a few months, we would be happy we'd made the right choice. It's by no means an easy decision though.

[foofooyeah]

I know two people with babies with Edwards. One terminated and one didnt. Both decisions were right for them.

The one who didnt had a little boy who lived for a few weeks and was very loved.

In answer to your questions I honestly dont know - but I think I might.

[AntsMarching]

I would abort. And one of my reasons would be purely selfish. I would rather abort a child I had never met then to bring that child into the world and then watch them die. I know I would find the latter much much harder. Neither choice is easy.

A friend of mine had to make this decision last year and chose to abort. She still finds it hard. It is a terrible choice to have to make.

[ResNulis]

I lost a son at 6 months.
I have always said those months were utterly precious to me, and I would not have changed them for the world.
But that was after he had been born.

I think the question from OP is not whether any of us who have lost children would give up even one second of the time we had with them, but is asking if - given our knowledge - we would choose to put another baby (and ourselves) through that pain, if we had the choice.

I would not.

There was no test to determine if future children would have the condition (they did not) but if there had been, I would have terminated ....because I watched my child go through struggles he should not have to suffer; and because I almost didn't survive his loss.

OP, my heart goes out to you.

[SirBoobAlot]

I don't think so. I have a friend who had a little boy with T18, and a lot of the various problems that came along with it. He lived for 19 months, was an absolute joy, and touched the lives of any people. If faced with the decision, I would be frightened, but having seen how amazing he was, and how amazingly she has spoken about it, I would like to think I would give any child a chance.

[Theas18]

Hmm. Yes if I knew- same with any lethal abnormality. Not fair on young siblings. I don't think it's a " life experience" that they need, for them to have a baby die at birth or very young if you can save them from that.

[Goldenhandshake]

Yes I would, I could not allow my baby or existing child to suffer like that knowing the baby will pass away, in all likelihood within a few months of life. It would be a heartbreaking decision, but the right one for me.

[thoughtsbecomethings]

Have had to make this very hard decision 14 years ago. Something I think of often and wonder if I made the right decision.

[glastocat]

Yes I would. My son came up as high risk for Downs at the nuchal scan ( one in 11 chance). I know it may be unpopular on here, but we had decided to abort if the CVS had given a positive result. Thankfully it didn't, so we didn't have to make that choice. I would have no hesitation in a case of edwards syndrome.

[TheTruffleHunter]

No

[KABluett13]

I think for anybody who may not have had the pleasure of knowing an Edwards baby, it is an easy decision - especially when based on the medical information out there, which is extremely bias towards the negative.
For those that have been blessed by having a child in their lives who has Edwards, or has read the stories told by the many trisomy 18 parents, the decision is a little more complex.
My niece was born with full trisomy 18 (she was not detected by the anomaly scan), and we celebrate her 5th birthday this year. She is a happy little girl who interacts with and recognises her family, and who has bought incredible amounts of joy to our lives (including her older sister). Based on medical information alone, I am in no doubt that had she been picked up at the anomaly scan, the advice would have been to terminate. I cannot imagine missing out on having such a wonderful little girl in our lives - we all feel truly blessed to have had the time we have had with her (and would have felt this had she only lived weeks, days or hours)

[OneStepCloser]

No, only had scans when I was pregnant and didnt want any testing as I know its not a decision that either my husband or myself wanted to be faced with.

But its such a personal thing, everyone is different no one right and no one wrong.

My heart goes out to all of you who have faced this, and for those who have lost precious babies.