Would you abort for Edwards syndrome?

[nappyaddict]

I know they say that most babies with Edwards syndrome are stillborn or die before they are 2 months old. But then there was Luke Winston-Jones who died at 10 months old and little Baby Grace who died a couple of days ago aged 5 months. After seeing how happy she looks in some of the photos and videos it has made me question whether I would abort for Edwards syndrome. Her own parents have said despite the broken hearts they have they would do it all again in a heartbeat because the last 5 months have been the best of their lives.

[SeriousStuff]

No, I wouldn't. The truth is, if you give birth to a perfectly healthy baby they could develop complications e.g. contract a life-threatening disease, or be in an accident, and you wouldn't give up on them.

I'm not judging anyone who would terminate, just trying to explain the reason behind why I just wouldn't. I also don't think it should be my decision as to whether someone should live or die. Life isn't perfect, but you make the most of what is given to you.

I hope that helps somewhat!

[CoteDAzur]

This isn't about giving up on a baby. It is whether or not to bring into the world a baby whose life you know will be only a few months and full of pain.

[HumphreyCobbler]

I did not give up on my baby with Patau's syndrome. I KNEW he was going to die. He did not die because I gave up on him.

[SeriousStuff]

As I said, I'm not judging anyone else's decision as it is an extremely personal decision. Just explaining my own feelings about the subject and why I would make the decision I would.

[forevergreek]

No I wouldn't. I would always regret with the thoughts of what if. If I carried on and had a few days of precious moments it would all seem worth it, otherwise in the back of my head I would think could they have been the one that lived on through adulthood.

[CheerfulYank]

No.

[melliebobs]

It's a tough one. My colleagues little girl has it and she's 4 now. Had a big heart op a few years ago but doing grand. She's so little and so friendly.if that was a possible outcome it's a tough call to make

[forevergreek]

Also it is like anything, different people are affected more than others. Some people with down syndrome live a full, independent life others may have heart/ breathing difficulties and developmental problems, some children with cerabal palsy can have a more regular life than others.. Etc etc

[Pancakeflipper]

I don't know.

I know my heart would break.

I know people who have had to make that heartbreaking decision and there's seemed to be no right or wrong, either decision looks to have bedn agony, just people trying to do the best for all in distressing circumstances.

[mrspaddy]

No, it would go against my own personal beliefs in the right to life but I am a realist too and know it is a decision nobody wants. I would never judge other people's decision of they did decide to.. they have good reasons too. I teach children who have life threatening disabilities and I know how cruel life can be but no parent I have met and know well regrets having them (as far as I am aware).

[Newtobecomingamum]

Yes, I would. I couldn't go through giving birth and then the not knowing how long my baby was going to live for. Everybody is different though and should respect individuals points of view. At the end of the day it is the mothers decision. X

[MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel]

My daughter had a severe genetic condition, I didn't know until she was born, she lived every second of her short life in pain, every day of her 2 weeks on this earth was filled with tests and procedures and prodding and poking then she died in my arms after her little body had enough.

I loved my daughter more than life itself and the 2 weeks she lived for are so precious to me, but I can honestly say that if I knew about her condition when I was pregnant the best thing I could have done for her would have been to have a termination in fact when we found out her condition was genetic I was pregnant again so I was faced with the prospect of having to decide that, there was no hesitation I would have done it (fortunatly my daughter didn't have the same condition and was fine).

Being a parent means putting the child before yourself, sadly that sometimes means having to have a termination. Causing your child to have untold pain and a very short life to spare yourself a feeling of guilt is pretty selfish imo.

[zeeboo]

I used to think I would end terminate but then I read this.
Now I would pack that baby's seconds, minutes, hours or days with all the love I had. I certainly wouldn't want to miss a second of the pregnancy.
A lot of babies with trisomy 18 aren't in pain, they aren't suffering like so many posters here are saying. Grace and Eliot are by no means the only babies living wonderful short lives.

[zeeboo]

Forgot the link!
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1876756594?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

[zeeboo]

If the link doesn't work Google 'defiant birth' a wonderful, wonderful book.

[HumphreyCobbler]

MissyMoo, my heart goes out to you.

[Velve]

I would terminate. I've lost one child already and gave birth to her stillborn form, I don't think I could bear losing another child again.
I also have my son now and it wouldn't be fair on him either to introduce a new sibling to have them taken away.

[mikkii]

I was fortunate in that the need to decide was taken away from me.

I suffered an incomplete miscarriage that was detected at 13 week scan. I had a ERPC privately and they ran tests. I was told the baby had Edwards syndrome, this made it much easier to accept.

I was happier that it had happened early, rather than later in pregnancy which I would have found much harder to deal with. Personally I think it is a decision that is heart breaking every time, and nobody should criticise anyone else's decision, as only they know if it is something they could bear.

[midori1999]

No, I wouldn't terminate for any reason and for that reason we have chosen not to have any tests other than scans. I wouldn't have an amino, so the tests seemed pointless.

I say that as someone who has already had a pregnancy where had I not been living in a country where termination was illegal I would have been strongly encouraged to terminate my twin pregnancy after my waters broke at 14 weeks as the chance of them surviving was so low and the risk to me was so great. I would never have terminated and as it was we lost them both anyway after they were born prematurely, one at 15 minutes old and one at 9 days old. it was the hardest thing I have ever been through, it nearly killed me, but the short time I had with them, even after their deaths is very precious to me and I wouldn't give that up for anything.

[NorthernLurker]

I wouldn't terminate - which is why we only had scans and no other testing. However neither would I seek active or invasive treatment. I would expect to be able to discuss a care plan before or shortly after birth that focused on palliative care. Terrible decision though and doing it my way would have a substantial impact on siblings. That's one of the many reasons we stopped at three dcs. Thr thought of putting my older children through the loss of a child was certainly deterring. Doesn't make much difference to your thinking when you have a toddler but when, as I did with dd3 , you have a nine year old, you do start to see what a huge unintentional impact your decisions could make.

[fluffacloud]

missy your post made me cry. What a heartbreaking situation.

I wish strength and happiness to all of you who have had to make this awful decision or that have suffered.

I don't think I could continue with a pregnancy that I knew would mean that the baby would ultimately live a short and painful life.

[fluffacloud]

missy your post made me cry. What a heartbreaking situation.

I wish strength and happiness to all of you who have had to make this awful decision or that have suffered.

I don't think I could continue with a pregnancy that I knew would mean that the baby would ultimately live a short and painful life.