Hi,
Firstly, please don't judge me. I feel bad enough!
I am pregnant and its not my fiancees, although he is aware, and taking on the baby as his own.We broke up a couple of months before I fell pregnant. I stupidly slept with a close male friend. Close male friend totally disowned me, saying to get an abortion etc. He has said he wants nothing to do with me or baby and never wants to see me again.
Fiancee was devastated when we broke up and we got back together. I then found out I was pregnant, and realised it wasn't and couldn't be his child. I discussed this with him, and although upset, he understood I couldn't terminate. I explained that I would understand if he didn't want to continue with the relationship. But, he has been amazing. We've had a few times of insecurity, on his, and my part, but after openly discussing, decided to continue with the r/s and pregnancy.
I feel nervous and wonder if fiancee is really ok with pregnancy. He has children from a previous r/s but hasn't told them anything. He said he's told his mother, but no-one else.
I'm wondering how he will be when baby is born, even though he says he will put his name on birth certificate and call child his own. Is this even legal?
I'm happy to be pregnant, but, I've had an extremely traumatic past year or so. Won't go into details, but had to leave work due to severe trauma which developed into PTSD. This still affects me now, and I have episodes of severe sadness and regret. I did have counselling, and have since periodically spoken to samaritans, who say I underwent a severe and multiple trauma and need to be a bit easier on myself.
Feeling very tearful this morning, and really don't want to be judged. I feel bad enough as it is. 
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Pregnancy
Pg and not fiancee's
Confused40 · 26/02/2013 07:41
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Didn't want to read and run.
It's difficult when you find yourself in a position like this because at the time you weren't together.
It seems to me that the pregnancy and the relationship are two different 'issues' as it were.
Being pregnant by someone who doesn't want to be involved isn't ideal. But as long as you feel confident that you want to continue with the pregnancy and can provide the love and attention that a baby needs, then although it's unfortunate you don't need this man to be in your life.
The same goes for your partner really. If you want to be with him of course you should be but it seems to me you have many doubts and I don't blame you with the way he behaves - I certainly wouldn't be putting up with behaviour like that and I don't think you should have to either. That coupled with his immaturity I can understand why you have reservations about the relationship.
Perhaps you may decide to see how it goes or you may decide to cut your losses now, whilst you still have control of the situation (not that you wouldn't in the future, but once the baby has a bond with your partner it'll be harder and when he has a bond with the baby too).
He's amicable for wanting to stick around but as you say you don't know how he will feel once the baby has arrived.
I hope whatever decision you come to it's the right one for you and your baby.
I wish you all the best in your pregnancy.
Believe in yourself and that you can make the right decisions for you and your baby. 
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